Such is life
by molly-moon-13
Summary: If you are into instant gratification, this is not the story for you. Be patient. It will be worth it.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hi! First story over here. Be gentle and I'll appreciate the reviews.**_

_**Nothing belongs to me but the plot. **_

* * *

We always read about great love stories, where boy meets girl, they fall instantly in love, something comes up, they work around it, get married, have 2.5 kids and live happily ever after.

Let me tell you something, that is _not_ how real life is. Sure, life is wonderful and love is great, but thats not all there is. There are tears, sweat and sadness. There are people who will hurt you, but there are people who will also help you. People you forget about as soon as you meet them, and the ones you never ever forget, not for a moment, not even when you wish you could. The is good, there is bad, black and white. This is_ life._

This is the story of my life, and how I met that one person I could never forget. If you are wishing for instant gratification this is not the story for you. Life does not work that way, or at least mine didn't. You have to work and fight for what you want, and maybe if the mystical force that is the universe likes you, you will get there. Be patient. It will be worth it.

—

The first time I saw him was nothing spectacular. I was in 9th grade. Hormones raging, no one understood me, blah blah, typical teenage crap. It was the afternoon around 4:00 pm. I was walking my dog around the block. My favorite time of the day. I was by myself. No school, no uniform, no nosy teachers, no annoying girls, no overprotecting parents. Nothing. Just me, my dog and my iPod. I would like to say I was listening to some deep song, but lets be honest, I was probably listening to Katy Perry.

I was alone in my head, and suddenly I wasn't. There he was. In his front porch, sitting on a bench reading. Glasses on, stripped polo t-shirt (I remember this T-shirt clearly), cargo shorts, and Converse. I looked at him and thought he was cute. I got a funny feeling in my stomach, but that was probably because I skipped lunch. I was doing that a lot lately. I kept walking and got home, took a shower and locked myself in my room. I kept thinking about him.

"_Stop that" _I said to myself "_You'll never see him again" _

Oh, how wrong was I.

—

The next few months my life went on normally. Normal school drama, which was normal when you went to a girls only catholic school, normal family drama, which was no drama at all (except in my head probably). I went out with my friends, got crushes on boys and went on with my life. Time passed and next thing I knew I was starting high school.

That summer before high school was kind of hard in the Swan household. After what I call the _toilet-gate _(me sticking my fingers down my throat and my parents finding out_) _my parents decided to change me to a boys and girls school. I thought they were over reacting a little. I mean, everyone did it, no?

_"It's the social pressure"_

_"How did I not notice"_

_"You are beautiful just as you are"_

_"Girls can be cruel" _

After much debacle it was decided. Bella Swan would attend a mixed high school, private one still, god forbid the Swan princess went to a public school. And thus started my days at Oxford High. Free of social pressure and mean girls. Or so my parents thought.

—

First day of high school and I knew no one. Well, that was a lie. I kew some kids from the country club and kids I had seen here and there. There was also a girl from 's from my grade, but we never talked much. Turns out she ended up in my class.

_"Hi, I don't know if you remember me, I am Angela Webber, we went to 's together" _she said.

"_Sure I do Angela" _of course I didn't. But she didn't have to know that.

Angela was a goody two shoes at 's, not a bad person, just, boring. My crowd on the other hand, not so much. I mean, we weren't crazy party animals but we knew how to have some fun, and we knew even better how to lie to our folks.

Lucky for me class started and I didn't have to talk much. I introduce myself and all that. I would lie if I said I wasn't the little bit excited about the boys. Come on, I was a teenager with boys for the first time in class. They were total retards, but I didn't know that then.

Everyone knew each other but I never had problems making friends so I ended up eating lunch with a bunch of kids form class. Angela among them. Mike Newton, total jock. Jessica Stanley, the definition of awkward teenager. Eric Yorkie, supreme geek. Lauren Malorie, total bitch. Jacob Black, surprisingly nice.

My first semester passed in a blur, between school work, getting to know new friends and trying to keep old ones before I even knew it it was winter break.

—

"_Sooooo, Mike asked me to a party tonight, and I like, totally want to go, but the reverend wont let me go by myself, can you go with me_" Jessica asked me over the phone.

"_Sure, I think my folks wont put up a fight. Its the first weekend of winter break after all. But, where is this party?"_

_"It's a welcome back party for Edward Masen, he played on the baseball team with Mike"_

_"Welcome back party?" _I asked_ "Where did he go?"_

_"He went to a baseball program in Miami for a semester, but he didn't like it and came back. We must go, there will be a bunch of older coll kids. He's a junior" _

_"Well, then lets go"_

—

It was 9:00 PM when we arrived. Mike picked us up from my parents place and we parked around the street. The place was packed. He must be popular after all. We entered the house, and it seemed a little bit familiar, but I ignored it. There was a lot of people, from freshmen to seniors. I said hello to some of my classmates but I was getting kind of bored. Jessica, of course was on cloud nine holding Mikes hand.

"_Hey, listen, I'm going to the bathroom and give you some alone time with Mike. Just don't bail on me, I'll be around, okay?" _I whispered in her ear

She gave me thumbs up and I left her. I walked around the party, did some shots with a boy from french class and stole a beer from a bunch of boys from the football team. One way or another I ended up in a hall full of family pictures. I was looking around when I saw _him._ There he was, on a photo with a little girl by his side. He was younger than the last time I saw him, and he was oh so cute still.

_"It must be an awful party if you are more entertained watching my family's photos than out there" _said a voice behind me.

And _there he was_. And not on a two demential paper on the wall. No, he was standing in front of me in all his three dimensional glory, smiling down.

Oh fuck, he was cute indeed.

* * *

_**so? How was that?**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Nothing belongs to me but the plot.**_

* * *

He was cute indeed. Well, as cute as a 17 year old boy can get. He was tall, lanky, crazy hair (what color was that? copper?) and he had blazing green eyes. He was wearing glasses and was sporting a mischievous smile on his face. He was far from perfect, but my little fifteen year old heart could barely handle it.

_"Sorry to be snooping around" _I said, without making eye contact _" it's just that my friend is here with a boy and I got tired of feeling like the third wheel"_

_"Don't sweat it. Mi casa, su casa and all that crap" _He said leaning against the opposite wall "_So little snooper, what is your name?"_

"_I am Bella Swan, we've never met. You are Edward Masen right?" _Shit, stalker tendencies showing Swan. Show some control. Act cool "_I mean, Mike told me it was Edward Masen's house. I am a freshman at Oxford" _shut up, shut up Bella stop the rambling.

"_Yes, I am Edward Masen"_ He stood up straight _"Mike Newton? That's who's your friend is with? Nice kid"_

I was about to answer, something stupid probably, when a blonde girl walked towards us. She was gorgeous, I mean what happened to teenage awkwardness? How can a high school student look that good? Not fair at all. It appeared we were in the OC or other CW show were teenagers were incredibly attractive and not awkward at all. Well, everyone but me, it seemed.

"_Baby, where have you been?_" The blonde girl said while hugging Edward. _Oh no. _Cue heartache.

_"Hi, Tanya. I was here talking to Ella" _Ella? Seriously? He had already forgotten my name after 50 seconds of introducing myself. _Forgettable. _

"_ Oh! hi, nice meeting you Ella. I'm Tanya Denali. Edwards girlfriend" _She said while smiling down at me. I would like to say that it was a condescending smile or something equally bad, but it wasn't. She was smiling in a friendly way at me and that made me hate her even more. I mean beautiful _and _nice? not fair at all. What was left for us mortals?

"_Well Ella" _Bella! Bella! My name is Bella! "_Look around all you want, we are going back to the party. Say hi to Mike from me" _They turned around and left, not before I got and eyeful of Edwards hand on Tanya's ass. Typical teenager.

I stood there waiting for my heart to calm down. I've had my real conversation with Edward Masen. Sure, he forgot my name as soon as it left my lips, but he talked to me. That's what counts, right? I decided to go to the bathroom after all since I was feeling kind of off. What was going on with me? As soon as I found the bathroom I went in and started crying. _What is going on? Why am I crying?. _It sure wasn't because a boy I had a crush on had a girlfriend right? I mean, I've barely knew him.

My fifteen year old self couldn't understand that I was indeed crying because of that. It seemed my body understood better the situation than my brain did. After I calmed myself and splashed some water on my face I decided to call my dad so he would pick me up. I just wanted to go to bed, eat ice cream and listen to a Taylor Swift's song.

—

"_So, princess, why did you want to leave the party?" _Dad asked as soon as he picked me up

"_Oh, I am just kind of tired you know? With exams and all that I am more tired than I thought"_

_"Oh, okay" _Always so talkative Charlie Swan

—

Winter break passed without major news, at least for me. Jessica and Mike became official, which was great for Jessica, but not so much for me. I mean, what was I supposed to do without my best friend? I spent the whole break at home reading, watching Netflix and daydreaming about Edward Masen and his green eyes.

—

It was the first day back to school when I saw him again. My mom was dropping me of at the school parking lot when I saw him. He was getting out of his car, a fancy shinny mercedes. Rumors where the Masens were loaded, I guess it was true. He didn't see me. _Of course he didn't. _He opened the door for Tanya and walked hand in hand with her towards the E building, where juniors took most of their classes.

And thus started the Edward Masen stalking project. My mom would drop me off at the school parking lot and I would sit in the nearest bench reading until I saw Edward and Tanya walk together to class. It became my daily routine. _Pathetic right?_

—

"_So I heard there is a new boy in junior year, and that he is g-o-r-g-e-o-u-s" _said Jessica on lunch during one day mid spring semester

"_He just transferred mid term to Oxford?" _Angela asked. Valid question.

_"Yes, rumors are he was expelled from every single school he has attended" _Typical Jessica comment

"_His name is Jasper Whitlock" _Mike said "_He is trying out for the baseball team this afternoon. There are rumors he's the best there is. Even better than Masen" _Huh? I doubt it buddy, but my opinion might be a little bit biased.

—

Jasper Whitlock was indeed gorgeous. Tall, unbelievingly fit for a 17 year old, sandy hair and an accent that would make the noons at 's swoon.

I met Jasper Whitlock in a typical Bella Swan day. I was walking to the cafeteria when I fell flat on my ass. I looked around and was grateful no one was around. _Or so I thought._

I was standing up when a hand appeared out of nowhere and helped me.

_"Tripping over nothing sweetheart ?" _A crazy southern accent whispered in my ear. Cue blush "_I've seen you do that twice this week Bella Swan"_

I looked up and was met with the bluest kindest eyes in Washington.

"_How do you know my name?" _Great Swan, polite "_I mean, thank you for helping me"_

_"Well Bella Swan, if you must know I asked around and found out your name. A little research is always necessary if something catches you eye" _He said that while winking. Oh crap, be still my beating heart. Was Jasper Whitlock flirting with me? Isabella Swan? Queen of the nobody's? _"So Miss. Swan would you care to accompany this poor lonely boy to lunch today?"_

_"Sure" _I said while blushing

It turns out he was not lonely at all. When me walked inside the cafeteria a lot of people said hi to Jasper. Both boys and girls.

_"I thought you said you were lonely" _I pointed out

"I might have said that so you wouldn't refuse me" oh my

"_I wouldn't have, you know?"_

_"Good. Next time I wont lie then" _He said while placing his hand on the small of my back.

And that's how my lunch routine with Jasper Whitlock started. Some times we sat by ourselves, some others with my friends and sometime with Jasper friends. A boy named Peter, Maria (seriously, were do all this gorgeous people come from?), Laurent, Vicky and a lot of faces I don't remember.

The semester passed and lets face it, I was smitten with Jasper Whitlock, but he had yet to ask me out. I was trying to be casual about the whole thing, not keeping my hopes to high. And let me tell you, I was failing miserably at it.

—

Summer break came and I was getting ready for my birthday. I was turning 16. I was having a party which was going to be awesome, I was probably getting a car and I was a bout to receive my first kiss (that I didn't know then).


	3. Chapter 3

_**Nothing belongs to me but the plot.**_

* * *

It was here. My sweet sixteen. Of course daddy Swan had gone overboard. My backyard was adorned with christmas like lights, there were pink balloons everywhere, there were several tables with candy, food and all kind of alcohol-free drinks. There was a tent in case it rained, it was Seattle after all and it was perfect. I felt like a princess. I was wearing a long pink dress that came below my knees, golden flats and a gold necklace and earrings my parents gave to me earlier that day. My brown hair was was down and in soft curls.

"_You look so pretty Bella" _Angela said when the girls arrived "_You look like a princess"_

"_Yes, Bella, you look like totally hot, but with like class" _Jessica said while chewing her pink bubblegum _"Jasper wont know what hit him tonight" _At the mention of Jasper my heart started beating wildly.

"_We don't even know if he is coming" _I mean this was a 16 years party. Not cool for a popular junior like Jasper to come

"_Of course he will come, that boy is crazy about you" _Angela said

_"Not crazy enough to ask me out" _I muttered to myself

—

By 10 pm the party was in full swing and Jasper was nowhere in sight. Me and my girls were dancing like crazy (it might have been because of the whine coolers we had stolen form my kitchen) and everyone was having fun. Even some girls form 's had shown up. Later on I was sitting on one chair under some trees with Angela when I saw _him_. What was Edward Masen doing here? And where was Tanya? As soon as I saw him my mouth went dry, my head started to spin and my palms began to sweat.

_"Oh, I thought you were over him"_ Angela said when she noticed what my eyes were looking at

"_I don´t know what you are talking about" _I said

"_ Oh come on, you think I haven't noticed how you blush when he walks by"_

_"Okay, okay, I might have a little crush on him"_

_"Little?"_

_"Okay, HUGE crush" _I said blushing_ "You happy?"_

_"Yes" _She said with a smug smile _"Oh my, he's coming our way"_

I could barely process what she was saying when I felt him. Yes, _felt him_.

"_Hey Ella!" _He said "_This is one sick…"_

_"Her name is Bella. Not Ella" _Angela interrupted him.

"_Oh shit, I am sorry, I feel like shit Bella" _He said looking a little bit guilty "_Here I am crashing your party and calling you the wrong name"_

_"Don't sweat it Edward. And you are not crashing my party. You are more than welcomed" _I said smiling sweetly "_So, where is Tanya?" _I asked. I had to know.

_"Oh she's in Bermuda with her folks, she wont be around much this summer" _He said totally unaffected

"_Hey Masen! Trying to steal my girl?" _Said Jasper somewhere behind me. He called me his girl.

"_Your girl, huh?" _I said flirtatiously

"_Of course you are my girl sweetheart, or are you not the same girl I have been having lunch with all this time?" _He said with a smirk

_"Well yes, but you never asked you know?" _On my peripheral vision I saw Angela and Edward going away, leaving Jasper and me alone

"_Oh, I wanted to. But I was waiting for your birthday. I didn't want to feel like a cradle robber after all" _He said with a smile on his face

"_Oh, well I am officially sixteen" _

_"Indeed you are "_

I knew then, it was the moment I had waited for oh so long. I had read about it in magazines, in books, seen it in movies and TV shows. My first kiss was here. He started leaning towards me looking me straight in the eyes. He raised his hands and took my face between them. I closed my eyes. I could feel his breath on my face an then I felt his lips. On my temple, on my forehead, on my nose, on my cheeks and on the corner of my mouth. _Jesus, was this boy smooth._

_" I am going to kiss you and tomorrow I am taking you out and you will officially be my girl" _He whispered agains my mouth. His lips barely touching mine

He didn't gave me enough time to answer me when suddenly he was kissing me. On the mouth. It was amazing. My whole body was on fire and I thought I might die from the excitement. The kiss was sweet and gentle, no tongue. How first kisses are supposed to be. But after he finished and I opened my eyes I was hoping to see green eyes, not the blue ones that were staring back at me.

"_So, at what time should I pick you up tomorrow?"_

—

Next day I went out on my first date with Jasper and it was perfect. We went to the movies and we had dinner. He gave me flowers and introduced himself to my parents. It was what I expected, typical high school date. And that was how all my summer went. During the day I stayed at home, exercised, read a little. And my afternoons where filled with Jasper and sweet kisses. Then the kisses where not so sweet and things went beyond kissing. I mean, we were teenagers after all and the hormones were raging inside our inexperiences bodies.

"_So, Belly, how far have you and Jasper gone?" _Jessica asked while laying on her stomach flipping through a magazine in my room

_"Oh my god Jessica!" _Angela said from my desk blushing "_It's not polite to ask that" _

_"Don't be such a prude Angie" _Lauren said from the couch "_Its normal to fool around with your boyfriend"_

_"Well.." _I said "_We have just kissed, with tongue, you know" _Feeling smug

"_And..?" _Jessica asked now her full attention on me "_There's got to be more than that, I mean you have been going out for more than a month now, and you have seen each other almost daily, that's like the equivalent to six months in high school standards"_

_"Yes Bella, don't be such a prude" _Lauren said, sitting straight "_Have you blown him? or at least have you given him a hand job?"_

_"Wha…what?" _I said blushing "_of course I haven't, should I?"_

"_No"_

_"Yes"_

_"If you want to" _All of my friends said at the same time

"_I think what Lauren is trying to say is that you are dating an almost senior, they expect things you know and IT IS Jasper Whitlock you know?"_

_"Has he at least gone to second base?" _Lauren asked

"_What is.." _Angela started to ask when suddenly the door opened and my mom walked in

"_Sweety, your doctors appointment is in 30 minutes, we must get going" _She said, thankfully interrupting the conversation that had been going on in my room

—

Ironically the doctor's appointment I had was with the gynecologist, I was going on the pill. Mommy dearest didn't want any baby Swans around the house anytime soon. On the way back home I kept thinking about the conversation I had been having with my girls. Was Jasper seriously expecting more than kissing? Was he ready? _Was I ready?_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Nothing belongs to me but the plot.**_

_**I am currently uploading almost all the chapters written, because I am afraid if a wait I'll lose my nerve and won't ever do it.**_

* * *

It turned out I was more than ready, and so was Jasper it seemed. I mean, we didn't have sex or anything but the following week I discovered how fun it was to fool around.

_"So, what do you want to do now" _Jasper whispered agains my ear while we were sitting beside his pool waiting for the sun to dry us so we could go inside and don't make a mess.

"_I don't know. How about some Netflix?"_ Secret word for fooling around in his room

"_I like how you think Swan" _He said whispering in my ear, kissing my jaw and running his hand up and down my thigh, dangerously high.

Later on we were on Jasper's bed, my back to his chest, still on our swimwear. We were watching American Horror Story, or pretending to at least. It was Jasper favorite show to watch with me, Jessica said it was because it was kinky and it probably turned him on. A scene where the slutty house keeper was trying to seduce the husband was on and Jasper was enjoying it, a little too much it seemed. He was kissing my neck and roaming his hands up and down my abdomen, from below my breasts to above my bikini bottom. He was getting bolder with his kisses, what had started as butterflies kisses had turned to him licking and bitting my neck whispering sweet nonsenses in my ear.

"_You are so sweet" _He said against my skin _"Your skin is so sweet, I want to touch you all day long" _He said while bitting my earlobe

"_Ah…" _

I don't know what was going on with my body. I was feeling an ache _down there_. Jasper started grinding against my behind. I could feel _him._

_"I want to touch you_" He whispered out of breath in my ear

"_You are touching me"_

_"I want to touch you more"_

_"Okay, do it"_

Suddenly Jasper turned bringing me with him. I was laying above him, with my back to his chest, his back resting on the mattress. This was hot. He kept moving his hips agains my ass and suddenly he was fondling my breasts above the bikini top.

"_Not so rough Jay…" _He was a teenager after all, he needed a little bit of direction

_"Sorry" _He whispered while being more gentle with his ministrations

He ran his fingers above my nipple which was already hard. That felt nice. I was making animal noises, how embarrassing. Suddenly it felt _nicer. _He was below my bikini top. And I felt everything. He then turned us and next thing I new he had my top of and was now above me. His eyes were wild as was his hair. Suddenly he leaned down but instead of the kiss I was waiting I felt his tongue on my nipple, and it was heavenly.

_"Ohhhh…do that again" _I said

_"We aim to please" _He said while rocking his hips against my pelvis, and it felt so nice

Jasper kept kissing my breast, licking bitting, nipping. He was sometimes to rough, but it felt nice over all. But my favorite thing he was doing was with his hips, I was feeling amazing down there. Suddenly I was panting and next thing I knew had my legs wrapped around him.

"_Agh…Bella…too much…Im gonna…" _He said while practically convulsing above me and then he went still. What had just happened? and why had he stopped? I was still aching.

"_Did you come?" _He asked

"_I don't think so"_ I said in pain

"_Let's fix that" _He said with a wicked smile on his lips

And fix it he did.

—

That's how the rest of the summer went. Sweet and sexy, filled with friends, Jasper and hormones, lots of them.

Before we knew it it was time to go back to school, me to my sophomore year and Jasper to his senior year. It was the first day of school, and I was holding hands with Jasper, kissing his chin when I saw _him_ again. He was leaning against his car in the parking lot, kissing Tanya like his life depended on it. Her back was to me. I saw his hands trailing down her back and going down her skirt and grab her ass. Jesus, what was this lump in my throat.

"_Hey, you okay?" _Jasper asked concern in his eyes _"You look like you are about to cry"_

_"Oh, yes, it must be the allergies" _I said. Feeling guilty. Here I was with this amazing boy who was concerned with my wellbeing and meanwhile I was pinning for another boy who called my by the wrong name and probably never thought about me. What was I doing? And in that moment I decided it was time to forget about Edward Masen. Little did I know that was the first time I would promise myself to do that, and not the last time. Sadly.

—

It was the first weekend after _Forget about Edward plan _started and I was sitting in Jasper's bed while we changed. We had a party that night.

"_So I've been meaning to tell you.." _Oh no, was he breaking up with me?

"_Are you breaking up with me?" _I suddenly said, my voice breaking a little

_"WHAT?" _He suddenly said rushing to my side "_Don't be ridiculous, what made you think that?_" He said kissing my nose sweetly

"_So, what is it then?"_

_"Next weekend I am going to Texas with my parents"_

_"Oh, what for? Family visit?"_

_"Ehh, more like college visit" _He said looking everywhere but me

"_Oh"_

_"I know we haven't talked about this, but IT IS my senior year and I am thinking about going to Texas for college" _

_"Jasper, look at me" _I said holding his face "_You don't have to apologize for that. It is an important part of your life"_

_"But I don't to leave you" _He whispered against my lips

"_I don't want you to" _And suddenly it was clear. I really didn't want him to leave. The thought of it made me want to cry. When had I fallen for this boy? And why hadn't I noticed "_But you must make a decision, I don't want you making a decision based on what I might feel. I am going to miss you, horribly, but we can work on that later. For now lets enjoy our time together, okay? And next week you'll enjoy your trip to Texas. They'll be lucky to have you there"_

_"Why aren't you asking me to stay closer?"_

_"Because I am afraid you might say yes. And if the rolls were reversed I wouldn't want you to ask me that"_

_"You are amazing Isabella Swan" _He said, and then attacked me

_"We are going to be late" _

_"I honestly don't care" _

We were _really _late.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Nothing belongs to me but the plot.**_

* * *

It was the weekend I was dreading. Jasper was in Texas. And I was here in my bed crying my eyes out, watching the Holiday and eating ice cream. I wanted to think of anything but Jasper being away. I knew he was going to leave me before college, I just knew, and it was the right choice. I mean I would still have two years of high school left and him in Texas and I in Washington, there is no way that would work.

Him going to Texas was not certain, but they would be stupid not to have him. Good GPA, he played baseball and was an amazing person. And if it wasn't Texas it would be other state and the story would be the same. He was going to break my heart, and I was going to let him.

In my sixteen year old brain our story was like Rome and Juliet, star crossed lovers. I thought our story was unique. Of course I didn't think that teenagers all over the country were going through the same thing. I was a hopeless romantic back then.

—

My weekend of self pity finished and by Monday morning I was back to school. I was waiting patiently by my building when I saw Jasper arrive. He looked amazing. Then he spotted me and smiled. I think I loved him. Jasper Whitlock was my first love.

"_Well, my memory didn't do you justice. You are even more gorgeous than I remembered you" _He said sweetly in my ear

"_Jasper, you went away three days"_

_"It felt like three years"_

_"That it did"_

_—_

_"According to this article boys like when women are in charge" _Lauren said, flipping through Cosmo magazine

"_Exactly Lauren, WOMEN, not girls" _Angela said _"Girls are not supposed to be having sex"_

_"Of course they are" _Jessica said "_Everyone is doing it"_

_"We should respect our…" _Angela started talking

_"I want to have sex with Jasper" _silence. Everyone was hanging with their mouths open looking at me

_"You what?"_

_"About time"_

_"Don't you want to save yourself?"_

_"You should do it on his birthday"_

_"Are you going to shave or wax"_

And so it started, we began planning how I would lose my virginity to Jasper Whitlock. I should have know that things like that don't ever go as planed.

—

Things were set I was going to have sex with Jasper on his 18th birthday. And it was going to be amazing. I had started preparing myself, doing pushups, some squats I even started waxing myself _down there_. It was a week before Jasper birthday and I was sitting in his bed.

"_I received and e-mail today" _He said

"_Really? about what?"_

_"From Texas" _There it was "_It was from the acceptance department, from the man that showed us around, he said that he was pretty confident that I was getting in, and that there is a summer program for new students and that I should check it out. I think I am going to go"_

_"Oh" _And then my plans changed. I didn't have as long with him as I thought I did. I had counted with those summer months, and then they weren't there anymore. I didn't have any time to lose.

"_Jasper?"_

_"Yes?" _And he looked at me and I think he knew what was going to happen

"_Come closer"_

And suddenly he was above me kissing me like there was no tomorrow. It was not a sweet kiss, it was sloppy and desperate. Teeth clashing, saliva everywhere and a lot of noise.I was now in my back and he was between my legs, he was now kissing my neck like a wild man and his hands had started wandering. They were now under my sweater and pulling it above my head. Once it was off he pushed the cups of my bra down and my breast were pushed upwards. He began licking my nipples and the valley between them. After some weeks he had learned how I liked to be touched, he was a master touching my breasts now.

"_Tour tits are amazing Bella"_ he said while bitting down gently on my nipple, while rolling the other between his fingers. He knew that drove me wild.

"_Take your shirt of" _I said while trashing wildly in his bed

"_Yes ma'm" _

He lost the t-shirt and my bra followed soon after, then my jeans and socks, and his too. I was in my panties and him in his boxers. Shame I didn't wear my nice panties, but he didn't seem to mind.

"_Are you sure about this? We can wait, I can wait"_

_"I am sure"_

_" This might not be as good for you the first time, it'll probably hurt but it'll get better"_

_"Okay, I trust you"_

_"That doesn't mean you can't enjoy a little pre loving, right?" _He said while kissing down my stomach. What was he doing? He surely was not doing _that, _right? I had read about in Cosmo, I blushed just thinking about it. It seemed a little bit racy for some high school students.

He began licking my navel and from hip to hip above my panties. He began kissing me _there _above my panties, and was he smelling me? How embarrassing!

_"What are you doing" _I barely whispered

"_I am going to kiss you, down here" _He said, his vibrating voice making me feel crazy "_And you are going to love it"_

He started licking my pussy above my panties , they were soaked, was it his salive or was I? He then started sucking and the he was pulling them up and the fabric was rubbing me the right way and it was amazing. Then he moved them aside and it was his mouth on me. I thing I was having a seizure, his tongue was doing wicked things to me and a fire was spreading through me. It began in my toes and I couldn't top moving and suddenly I was exploding. I closed my legs around his head and closed my eyes whispering his name.

_"That. was. amazing" _I panted

"_Told you"_

"_Where did you learn to do that?"_

_"Do you really want to know?"_

_"No, just do it again some time soon"_

_"Oh, I will"_

He then started kissing me and I blush, I could taste myself in him. He smiled smugly. He then started fondling my breast and grinding himself against my thigh. I was moving my hands along his abdomen and suddenly put my hands inside his boxers and started pumping him. He was groaning in my neck.

_"Yes, Bella. Just like that…agh…you are so good at this…I can't wait anymore…let me fuck you" _wow, how romantic

"_Okay"_

He took my hand off him and took his boxers off and then my panties. I was suddenly nervous, but he was Jasper, all my firsts with him had been amazing, this was going to me amazing too (oh, naive little Bella). He positioned himself above me and started grinding himself against _me, against my lips._

_"Agh…you are so warm and wet. I bet you are so tight" _

He then positioned the tip right _there. _Everything so far had been good, and then it was not good at all. He pushed inside me and everything burned. _Everything. _He started moving inside me, and making grunting noises and moaning in my shoulder. He was having the time of his life. Me? not so much. Suddenly it was too much and my eyes began to water and I could not stand it anymore.

"_Please stop" _I said

"_Why?" _He said still moving

_"You are hurting me"_

_"Shittttt" _He said suddenly getting himself out of me

I started crying

"_Jesus Bella, are you all right?"_

_"No" _I started crying "_Everything hurts"_

_"I am so sorry" _Was he in pain? Or what was going on with that voice?

"_Are you all right?" _calming down a little "Why do you sound like that?"

"_I kind of have a problem down there" _

"_Sorry" _

"_Don't worry. It'll pass"_

_"Maybe I can help you" _I asked no longer crying

"_I don't want you to feel like you have too"_

_"But I want to"_

And then I proceed to help my boy with his little predicament

—

"_So, are you a virgin or not?"_

_"If he moved inside her he popped her cherry" _Lauren said

"_It hurt like he did" _I added

_"Then, Bella Swan I pronounce you no longer virgin" _Jessica said waving her hands around.

We were sitting in Jessica's floor. Lauren, Jessica, Angela and I. Angela had been really quiet and I knew it was because she was not comfortable with the topic. She was saving herself for his future husband.

_"So, what are we wearing for this Friday party…"_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Nothing belongs to me but the plot.**_

* * *

The semester continued as it should. Jasper and I got over the _first time _incident. And we got better at it. I really enjoyed sex with Jasper. But things got weird. When you listen that sex changes everything you don't believe it, but for me it certainly did. Before getting to know each other was the principal goal in our relationship, but now it seemed like getting our clothes off was everything we ever did. When we talked we were uninterested and if a bed was not involved it seemed like we were complete strangers.

—

It was the last day before winter break when it happened. I knew it was coming, but it still hurt.

"_Hey!" _He said to me when he spotted me after last period

"_Hi" _I said, leaning down for a kiss

_"Listen, I think we need to talk"_

_"Yes, I guess we kind of do" _I said sadly

_"Why don't we go to your house" _He suggested

We never went to my house. There was always someone there. Bad start. On the way home we kept silent, not even the radio was on, and I couldn't help but compare it to the first time we rode together. He used to hold my hand all the time, put his hand in my knee and he was always singing. What had happened? Had I done this? Of course I hand't, but my teenage self didn't know that. We got home and we sat in the front porch.

_"Listen Bella, I really care about you, you know that. But, with me going away for college next semester I think it's better if we end things now" _He said looking everywhere but at me

_"Jasper, we both know this is not about college, is it?"_

_"No" _He said _"There is no one else I swear, it just doesn't feel the same as it did before, like it felt at the beginning" _

_"I know you care about me, I care about you too" _My voice broke "_I appreciate you being honest with me, and I am sure you'll do great in Texas next year"_

_"I wish things could be different. You are an amazing girl and anyone would be lucky to have you" _He leaning in and kissed my nose

_"Goodbye Jasper"_

_"Goodbye Isabella"_

—

I wish I could say we remained friends after that. Maybe my adult self can del with staying friends with ex boyfriends, but my teenage self couldn't. It was difficult at first, specially with winter break upon us, I had too much free time to wallow in self pity and wondered if I could have done anything different. My friends tried to cheer me up, especially Angela, but I was embracing my first heartbreak. When we started school again I had more distractions but I saw him around. It was hard. I got jealous and I missed him. Not him per se, but the company, the comfort of having someone beside you, the security it gives you. Word got around pretty fast that Jasper Whitlock was single again, and boy did girls tried hard to get his attention, but nothing happened.

Jasper Whitlock graduated a single man, and to my delight so did Edward Masen.

—

It was summer break again, Jasper had already left town, I found out in Facebook. I liked his status. No hard feelings between us.

_"So, I heard that Masen is trowing a go away party this weekend" _Jessica said looking at her phone

_"We must go" _Lauren said _"Jared will be there" _Jared was Lauren's newest quest

_"I heard Jacob will be going too" _Said Angela, and all three pair of eyes looked my way

"_I've told you, I am not interested in Jacob, or anyone else for that matter"_

_"Still pinning over Whitlock?" _Lauren said. Bitch.

_"No, I am over high school boys. They are immature, I'll wait for a real man, not a boy" _I defended myself

_"I'll take all the boys I can get" _Ah, Jessica.

—

We arrived at the party at 10, we were a little tipsy because we had drank some wine at Lauren's house before hitting the party. The house was packed and everyone was having fun. Soon we got separated. Jessica went away with Mike, I guess they were a thing, _again. _Lauren found Jared and was sucking face where everyone could see them. And Angela was with Eric Yorkie, I didn't see that one coming.

I ended up in the same hallway I did the last party. The ones with the photos.

"_Ah, of course you would be here. I am wounded my parties don't meet your standards Swan" _He said from behind me. I smiled

"_The party is okay, the people not so much" _

_"Lucky me, it's the last time I see them" _He said smiling at me "_You, on the other hand still got two years to go"_

_"That I do"_

_"But for now I know something that might improve your night considerably" _He said with a mischievous smile

_"Where is Tanya?" _I blurted out

_"We broke up. Didn't you hear the rumors? She was pregnant, or was it that I found her in bed with principal Banner?" _He said, obviously joking

_"Okay, okay, I get it. None of my business" _

_"So, are you up for some improvement?" _

_"Yes"_

We ended up in his room, and as much as I would like to say that we kissed and he declared his love for me, we both know that is not what happened. We ended up discussing books, movies and even painters. We discussed life.

_"If you had a magical wand and you could do anything, what would your dream job be?" _He asked. We were lying down in his rug, looking at the ceiling listening to his _The Whitest Boy Alive _vinyl.

"_That's a good question_" I said _"I would open an art gallery or work in art restoration"_

_"Really?" _He sounded surprised

"_What would you do?"_

_"I would become a writer" _I could listen to the smile in his voice

"_Too bad we don't have a magic wound, no?" _

_"Indeed"_

Questions like this continued, were would you travel if money was not a problem? Which historical character would you like to meet? If you were an animal which would you be? Why? Why? Why?. It felt oddly personal, and I think that was the night my crush evolved to some kind of love. Edward Masen was and amazing person, with an incredible mind and passion for things. I couldn't get enough of him, I wanted to know more, I wanted to now _everything_ about this boy. And he was leaving tomorrow, to Harvard.

_"Oh, Harvard, that must be nice" _I said "_And what are you studying there?"_

_"Law" _He said, not an ounce of excitement present in his voice

"_I thought you might study literature, with you wanting to become a writer and all that"_

_"Well, as you pointed out, there is not magic wand in my hands"_

He was about to add something else when my phone started going off. It was Angela, they were leaving and I had to go. I had never wanted to stop time, until that moment. I didn't want to go, I wanted to stay with him tonight, _forever._

_"You are leaving now" _It was not a question

"_Yes, my friends are going now" _I said fidgeting with my hands "_Good luck in Harvard, Edward. I am sure you will have and amazing time there"_

_"Goodbye Bella Swan, I hope we run into each other again soon" _He smiled at me

I turned around and had my hand on the doorknob when he said

"_Bella, just because we don't have a magic wand doesn't mean you can't achieve your dream. Don't be a coward like me, fight for what you want, and I am sure you'll get there" _He said, sounding sadder than any 18 year old should

_"Right back at you Edward"_

And that was our first goodbye, there were many more to come. Two years had to pass before I saw Edward Masen again.

* * *

**We are getting to my favorite part of the story. Hope you are enjoying and please review. **


	7. Chapter 7

_**Nothing belongs to me but the plot.**_

* * *

There it was. It was mocking me. I was sitting in front of my brand new laptop (graduation present from mom) gaping at the screen.

_Edward A. Masen wants to add you on Facebook_

Two years. TWO YEARS. No news whatsoever form him and here it was, a Facebook friend request. Why now? Why not two years earlier, no, scratch that, why not 4 years earlier?

It was the last day of school, last day of high school. Yes, I Isabella Swan would be heading to UCLA after the summer to start my architecture degree. The last two years of high school had been amazing. Since Jasper had left and I was single I really enjoyed my free time. I stayed single for the rest of high school (that didn't mean I didn't have fun with some of the boys around). Jessica, Angela and I had become closer and I was sad to leave them at the end of the summer, they were both going to stay in Washington for college. As I said, be had become closer, Lauren Mallory on the other hand had stopped talking to me after some boy she liked asked me out. Her loss. He was a loser anyway.

Back to the present. Facebook friend request. Was he back in town? Last summer he didn't come back because he was taking summer courses and he came for thanksgiving weekend, but I didn't see him. How had I found out about that? Well, just because I hadn't had any contact _directly _with him it didn't mean I hadn't been keeping tabs on the boy. Stalking is a typical teenager ability after all.

Tonight we were headed to Mike's Newton house for the graduation party. We had a ceremony earlier at school were diplomas were handed out, yearbooks signed and photos taken. The real fun was tonight. The place was ready, the people were ready and there was enough alcohol for a small country. And I had my little green friends rolled and ready to smoke. Courtesy of one Alec Vulturi. During my senior year I became friends with one Alec, he had moved form California and was too cool for this town. Or at least that what everyone thought.

He was super hot and had that bad boy thing going on. He was tall, had dirty blonde hair, always pushed back and blue eyes. He wore dark ripped jeans, white v neck shirt, leather jacket and his Doc Martens. At first I hated him, he rubbed me the wrong way. He was a total chick magnet, the female population of Oxford High couldn't wait to get their paws on him. Even Angela had a crush on the boy.

_"He's hot" _Jessica said during lunch time after one week he had arrived _"I heard his parents sent him to live with his grandma so he could stay out of trouble. He had been to like five rehab centers in California"_

_"I bet that's a load of crap" _I said "_And he's an asshole believe me, I have an eye for these things"_

_"He IS kind of cute Bella" _Angela said _"Aren't you into that kind of thing anyway?" _She was without a doubt thinking about my little fling with Paul Lahote , playboy from the wrong side of the tracks.

"_It was one time, besides, Jasper kind of ruined blondes for me"_

_—_

_"So Bella, at what time should I pick you up?" _Alec said on the phone. We eventually ended up being friends after we shared a desk in Bio this semester

"_I don't know. How about 9 and we go for some pre party smoke?"_

_"I like how you think Swan, see ya"_

It turned out rumors were true (for once), Alec Vulturi was indeed a bad boy that had been shipped off to Forks to calm down. He had pretty much laid off the drugs (weed being the exception) but he was going back to Cali as soon as the summer was over. He was going to UCLA too. He got me initiated in the art of smoking weed, but that's not the only reason why I liked him. He had super cool music taste and we could talk for hours, of course him being hot helped a little. I would lie if I said I didn't have a little crush on him, but the boy was a player. Girls all around him wanted him, and even if the stayed single all his stay in Forks that didn't mean he didn't enjoy the attention. He had a different girl every weekend on her knees (literally) or on the back of his car. Never a girlfriend though. What bothered me the most was that he hadn't made a pass at me still, he even flirted with Angela, Angela! And to be honest I was hot, I mean no playboy material, but I was tin and had curves in the right places, my ass was super fine and my c cup was really appreciated by the male population at Oxford High.

Before I knew it It was time to get ready for the party and since I was feeling bold and wanted for Alec to notice me I went with the sexy look. I stood in front of my big ass closet (thanks daddy) in my lacy black underwear, just in case I indeed reached my goal tonight, and looked for something to wear. The party was casual, but I wanted to look nice. I decided to wear a pair of ripped grey Jeans that were practically painted on me, a cropped top that hugged my rack nicely and a leather jacket, since it was an special occasion I wore my highest high heels. I kept my eye make up light, some eye liner, but my lips were sporting my new burgundy color lipstick. Time to roll.

—

"_You look amazing tonight" _Alec said while lighting up the joint. God, was he sexy.

_"Thanks, you don't look to bad yourself" _I said

We were listening to some Nicholas Jaar on his car (sex music in my opinion) and were smoking on some deserted part of town. We kept passing the joint around until it was over. I was kind of fucked up by that time. I was in my own universe thinking about that Facebook incident when I felt a hand on my thigh. Alec always got touchy when he smoked, but never with _me. _I acted as if it was cool. He then began moving it higher and higher until he was just a touch away from my crotch. _It was getting hot in here. _I removed my leather jacket and I totally saw his eyes checking out the girls. _Score._

_"Is this alright?" _He asked while moving his hand to the inside part of my thigh "_If it isn't I will stop, you just look delicious tonight in these jeans Bella, you have amazing legs, and that ass…" _He whispered with his eyes closed and his hands still on me

_"It's more than okay. I want you to touch me like this, I've been wanting for a time now" _I whispered with my eyes closed, leaning back on my seat and enjoying the feeling of his hands.

He got bolder after I said that and moved his hands right _there, _over my jeans and started massaging me though the denim. It felt so good and I began rocking my hips agains his hand. He suddenly had his hands inside my pants, but above my panties and he began rubbing me more vigorously. I was panting by this point.

_"Jesus, you are so wet. Is that lace? You are so hot" _He said while leaning down in my direction and going for my lips.

This position couldn't be comfortable for him but I could barely think straight by this point. He was fucking my mouth with his and he was rubbing my clit above the lace. He then had his hand inside my undies and it was just his fingers touching me. He the put one finger in and started moving it in and out of me while rubbing circles with his thumb where it felt the best. He added another finger and I was ready to explode.

_"Ugh, Alec, just like that" _I panted "_Rub me harder, faster…I…I….agh, God"_

And it was over, and I was panting, my skin felt hot and my hair was sticking to my forehead.

_"You've got the sexiest face when you come Bella" _Alec said bitting my collarbone dipping his tongue below the hem lime of my top "_I would like to say here with you all night but we should go to the party now"_

_"Don't you want me to return the favor" _I eagerly asked

_"Seeing you was enough" _He smiled while cleaning his hands with some kleenex he had in his back seat "_For now at least"_

_Oh._

_—_

We arrived at the party and as soon as I located Jessica and Angela I told them about my sexy time with Alec in his car.

_"About dam time it happened" _Jessica said while sitting in the counter on the bathroom we had selected as our meeting place for the story

"_He seriously knew what he was doing" _I said remembering _"I hope I get more alone time with him later. What's going on Angie? You are very quiet. You don't still have a crush on him right? Because if you do I'll tell him it can never happen again" _I said looking at her,

"_No, no, that's not it! I just, I don't know if it's the right time to tell you this, but before you got here I ran into Edward Masen and he asked me about you" _

Oh, fuck.

* * *

**So, what do you think? Are you liking the story? **


	8. Chapter 8

_**Nothing belongs to me but the plot.**_

_**I might mention that this story is slightly inspired in my love story, of course I changed some things and mine was nowhere near as interesting. He was my first love and it turned out that after some years the universe put it him in my path again. I always like telling our story.**_

_**What's your love story like?**_

* * *

**Bella POV**

_"What do you mean he asked about me? When exactly did this happened? Repeat his exact same words. How long is he back? Does he look as hot as he did the last time? Stupid question, of course he does. Is he single?" _I asked her, tripping over my own worlds. I couldn't believe it, ha had asked about me, about _me! _

_"Jesus, calm down" _She said _"I bumped into him in the kitchen, he said hi and he asked how you were doing and if you were around. I don't know if he is single, but girl for your well being I hope he is, he looks mighty fine tonight"_

_"I cannot believe your luck Bella. You finally hook up with Alec and Edward shows up"_

_"Shut up Jessica"_

_—_

After we exited the bathroom we headed for the kitchen, were Angela had last seen Edward but he was not there. We went to the living room were mostly everyone was. After 20 minutes of looking around for him I finally gave up, he probably had left. What would a college sophomore be doing in a high school party. Lame.

I decided to head outside, to Mike's back garden to take some air. I was sitting on a lounge chair with a beer in my hand when I heard _his voice. _

_"What is with you and parties Isabella?" _He whispered in my ear

_"Hi Edward" _I said looking up at him, and oh my, he was indeed hotter than last time. His hair was shorter and his face had lost it roundness, gone were the chubby cheeks of a boy and were replaced with a jawline and cheekbones to die for. His hair was still a mess and his eyes were still that crazy beautiful green color.

_"How have you been?" _He asked "_Ready to say goodbye to Forks?"_

_"More than ready. I am heading to UCLA in autumn" _I said peeling the label form my beer bottle

"_Ah, California. Good choice. So, are you going for that restoring art career?" _He remembered. Oh be still my heart

_"You remembered" _I said. Fuck, my face was on fire, I was probably blushing "_Well, kind of. I'm going to study architecture, and after that I want to specialize in building restoration"_

_"I knew you wouldn't let me down with your decision" _He said while winking. He then took a seat next to me, his knee bumping into mine.

"_What about you? How's Harvard treating you? Law was it?"_

_"Yeah, well I compromised and I changed to Economy, a little more down my alley than Law, but I couldn't convince Senior to let me study literature. A total loss of time according to him" _He said looking at his shoes "_At least in economy I get to take some really interesting classes and I even managed to squeeze in some literature classes. Those are my favorites" _He said with a glint in his eyes

"_Oh Edward, I am so happy to hear that" _I said, placing my hands on top of his. I think it was the first time we had ever touched and it was like an electric current ran through my veins

_"Yeah, I am really happy right now" _

We started talking about his classes, and he even promised to send me a list of books he had read all this time: He asked me about Forks, how was everyone doing, he even asked me about Jasper. We talked movies, books and he told me about his life in the east coast. I was fascinated by it. All this time I had forgotten how good he made me feel. He was just so intelligent, and cultured and polite and I wanted to be with him.

_"So, how many broken hearts are you leaving behind Bella?" _He asked, leaning back

"_None" _I smiled

"_I do not believe that. Someone as pretty and as intelligent as you must be"_

_"Boys around here are not really interested in what you have to say, I've found out they actually prefer if you don't talk at all"_

_"Fools, they don't know what they are missing. It's an amazing world you have inside here" _He said tapping my temple with his finger

"_What about you? Are you seeing someone?" _Please say no, please say no

_"Actually I am. She's amazing, you would like her" _I am pretty sure I wouldn't. I actually already hate her "_Her name is Danielle, she's from Chicago. We met in a philosophy class this semester and I asked her out. I guess you could say she is my girlfriend" _He looked really happy. Fuck, why does life hate me? I felt like crying

"_There you are" _And suddenly Alec appeared. Thank you God "_I had been looking for you" _He stood behind me and leaned down. He kissed my neck. Jesus.

_"Hi, I am Edward Masen" _Edward suddenly said while standing up straight and extending his hand out for a shake

"_Alec Vulturi" _Alec said while shaking is hand firmly "_I have not see you around. Do you go to Oxford High?"_

_"Ah, not really. I graduated two years ago. I am back for a couple of weeks and I saw Bella and we started catching up" _He smiled down at me _"But I really should head home now, I am beat. See you later Bella. Nice meeting you Alec"_

And as soon as he arrived he was gone.

_"So, do you wanna go to my house?" _Alec turned around and whispered huskily in my ear. Oh my, was that his tongue? "_We would be alone, my grandma sleeps like the dead"_

_"Sure, lets go"_

_—_

I was one week after the party and I had yet to see Edward again. I had taken any opportunity that presented itself to go out of the house, and I was conveniently nicely dressed. Just in case. Alec and I had started going out, kind of. And eve though we hadn't talked about it I would like to think we were exclusive, at least I was.

I was coming out of the salon after my mani and walking to my car at the mall parking lot when I heard him calling my name.

_"Hey Bella!" _Edward said while walking quickly my way. He was carrying a plastic bag and was sporting a casual look

"_Oh hi!" _I said when he reached me "_What are you doing here?"_

_"I came to pick up some things for my mom from the dry-cleaning" _He showed me said clothes "_So, listen if you are not busy would you like to grab a coffee or something? I am leaving in a couple of days and it would be nice to hang out before I leave"_

How could I say no to that?

—

_"You lied to me"_ He said to me as soon as our coffee was placed in front of us "_You said you would not leave any broken hearts here, but I am sure that blonde boy at the party will be heart broken at the end of the summer"_

_"Ah, dont be ridiculous" _I blushed "_That's Alec, we are nothing serious. Besides, he'll be going to Cali too. So technically I wont be leaving any broken hearts behind"_

_"Semantics" _

We continued talking, and as usual we didn't run out of topics. He told me stories about his family. Even though he was an only child he had a quite large extended family and he was close to his grandparents. I told him a little about the Swan household, but I was more interested in listening. He then moved to the topic of Danielle and I felt my face fall, I tried to smile through the stories about her but I am sure I looked like the Joker or something equally horrible.

"_Shit, it's 6:30 already I gotta run" _I said gathering up my things and leaving money for my coffee on the table

"_Don't worry, I'll get it" _He said giving me back my money _"It was nice seeing you. I like talking to you" _He said standing up and standing in front of me

"_I like talking to you too" _I stood awkwardly, should I hug him? I wanted to. He answered for me. Next thing I new I was being held by him

_"Until next time" _He whispered in my ear

* * *

**Still a long way to go folks. Be patient, they still need to grow up before they are ready for each other.**

**Yesterday I found an amazing story here. Check it out**

**Balançoire by gemini13me**


	9. Chapter 9

_**Nothing belongs to me but the plot.**_

**Sooooo, I am trying my hand at the smutty part of the story, so if you are not into it you can skip the whole chapter basically. But, if you are please give me pointers on it, I had never written anything like this. It made me hot.**

* * *

**Bella POV**

Here I was at UCLA. My first semester was being awesome so far. I ended up with two roommates. Alice Cullen and Rosalie Hale. Alice was a little ball of energy, she barely reached my shoulder and had a stylish bob. Her hair was raven black and her eyes were blue. She wanted to be a fashion designer. Rosalie was, for lack of better words a total babe. She was gorgeous, tall with curves to die for and long blonde hair, it was like the girl never had a bad day hair. But don't let her appearance fool you, she had beauty and brains, she was on a full ride scholarship in the engineering program. We were currently in our living room talking. It was the end of the first month of class.

"_So, Bella, when is Alec coming around tonight?" _Alice asked while painting her nails

"_Don't know, we are supposed to go to a party tonight, but I feel like staying in tonight. What are you girls doing tonight?" _I answered while flipping through the new issue of Cosmo

"_No, I am going to a party tonight, a boy from my physics class invited me, do you want to come Allie?" _Rose asked

"_Sure, nothing more exciting than a bunch of horny engineers to fill my Friday night" _She answered

"_Can you blame them? Rose is the only chick on the program, you'll be their new shiny toy tonight"_

_"Oh goodie"_

_—_

_"Take it off" _He said against my ear, he then proceed to take my earlobe between his teeth. I liked that. He was pulling my sweater from my body

I removed the offensive piece of clothing, and my bra as well. He then lost his clothes and we were soon only in our underwear. He was positioned over me between my legs and rocking his hips against mine. His _hardness _rubbing me just the right way. I could feel everything through the fabric. I wrapped my legs around him and started scratching his back with my nails. He was really into that. I ran my hands down his back and grabbed his ass under his boxers so I could pull him into me.

"_Eager aren't we?" _He then started sucking my breasts. He draw a circle around my nipple with his tongue, then he blew some air over them and the bit them gently. Oh boy. While one was being lavished with his mouth the other one was feeling a little bit neglected, but he rapidly fixed that. He started grazing my nipple with his finger, barely touching it. Then he stopped and put them inside my mouth.

"_Suck them baby, imagine it's me" _And imagine I did. I sucked them and twirled my tongue around them "_That's so hot" _He whispered against my body.

He then moved said fingers to my breasts and started rolling my nipple between them, he was the pulling it kind of roughly but man did it feel good.

"_Agh, please Alec" _I said arching my back

_"What do you need baby?" _He was now licking my navel and grazing his teeth on my abdomen. His hands were playing with the elastic of my panties, but he was not taking them of yet. He was pulling them up and the fabric was rubbing me right _there. _

"_I want more…I…nee…" _ I couldn't finish when I felt his mouth on me. He moved my panties to the side and was flicking my clit with his tongue, jut at the right pace. He then inserted a finger inside me and I moved my hands that had been playing with my breasts to his hair, I began pulling it, I knew he liked that. He removed his fingers and started fucking me with his tongue, he had started growing a beard and I could fell it scratching me amazingly. He stopped his tongue and put his fingers inside me again, he went back to licking my bundle of nerves and suddenly he rubbed his chin on it, the scratchy sensation was amazing.

_"Do that again" _I said while my eyes were rolling back inside my head

"_Naughty girl, you like me rubbing my face all over you, I'll smell like you tomorrow, I'll taste you in my mouth and I'll smell you in my skin" _The combination of his fingers, the vibration of his voice and the feeling of his beard rubbing me too much and I went over the edge

"_Jesus Christ Alec, you are a pro" _I panted while he started kissing up my body, bitting, nipping. He was suddenly kissing me like a mad man, like I was an oasis in the middle of the dessert. His tongue was rubbing mine, his teeth bitting my lips and he was grinding against me

"_Do you like tasting yourself on me? You must, you are so dirty" _He was really into dirty talking and I admit to turned me on. A LOT.

He was now pulling my panties down and his boxers too. He had just giving me and orgasm but I was ready for the main act now. I put my hand between us and grabbed him in my hand. He was hard and warm and ready. I started rubbing his length between my lips, his head hitting my clit and making my toes curl, I was getting him soaked with each movement. I was on the pill and we didn't need condoms.

"_Agh…you are so wet…and warm" _He said against my neck "_Soak me baby…agh…yes…rub me against you. I cannot wait to be inside your little tight pussy, you are the best there is"_

He then put the tip inside and took it out. He was teasing me. Bastard. He then put the tip again, and removed it, the again and again. It was pure agony.

"_Please…" _ I said while running my nails down his back. That would leave a mark.

"_Tell me baby, you know you want to"_

_"Fuck me, please, just fuck me"_

And fuck me he did. He slammed into me again and again. I arched my back and he began bitting my nipples hard. I had my legs wrapped around him, my heels digging in his behind. He suddenly stopped and turned me around so I was with my face in a pillow, he then put his hand below me and pull me in all fours. This was new.

"_I am going to fuck you form behind baby, and you are going to love it" _he started pounding into me. He was on his knees, his hands on my hips so he could pound into me roughly "_Play with yourself baby, rub your clit, imagine its my fingers, but lick the first, suck them hard"_

I started playing with myself, and as I was rubbing myself I could feel him and touched him while we moved inside me. I suddenly couldn't stand it anymore and my arms gave out. My face was on the mattress and my ass was in the air, and Alex was grunting like a madman behind me. His movements were getting erratic, he wouldn't last long. Then I felt it, a finger was touching my other hole.

"_Agh..what are you doing?" _I panted while I pulled at my nipples

"_You'll feel amazing baby, just my pinky finger and if you don't like it I'll stop" _His other hand then has between us and was rubbing my clit firmly "_You'll love it I know"_

_"Okay, do it, gently"_

He then moved his other hand between us briefly and then it was _there _again. He began pushing his little finger inside me and I did like it. I had a sensory overload and went over the edge. I couldn't handle him fucking me with his dick, his fingers touching me, his pinky in my ass and my own hands on my breasts. I came like I had never before. I saw stars. I collapsed and soon before he followed.

_"I think I saw god" _Said while I ran my fingers through his hair. We were laying naked on my bed, sweaty and spent after the amazing marathon we just had

"_No god here, it was all me babe"_

—

The weekend ended and we resumed our routines. I started hanging more and more with Alec and the sex was getting bolder. And I was enjoying it intensely. My relationship with my roommates grew and we started hanging out more. Life was amazing and I didn't need anything more. Or I thought I didn't.

* * *

**So how was it?**


	10. Chapter 10

**So, this chapter was kind of hard to write for me. This did happen to me when I was in college. I decided to post this chapter and the previous one, seeing as chapter 9 has no plot whatsoever, so enjoy both of them for now!**

* * *

It was the first day of thanksgiving weekend and I had decided to stay in California. My parents were traveling and I had zero interest in going to Forks alone. So I stayed. Alice and Rosalie had both invited me to go with them for the weekend, but I politely declined. Even Alec had invited me to spend the day with his family, but it felt too soon, so I decided to do a party for myself. I ordered some pizza and prepared myself for a Netflix marathon.

I was in the middle of my 5th The Office episode when my phone went off. Facebook notification. Inbox. From no other than Edward Masen.

_"Hey Bella, I am in California for the weekend. Did you stay here or did you go back to Forks? If you stayed we should meet. Let me know" _

Fuck. What the fuck. Why now? This boy had the worst timing ever. I must point out that during one of my Facebook stalking sessions earlier in the semester I almost had an aneurism when I saw that Edward Masen was no longer listed as single on social media. No, according to his Facebook status Edward was _in a relationship _with Danielle M. Collins. What an ugly name. Not really.

I answered after 15 minutes of staring at the message.

_"Hi, nice hearing from you. I did stay. We should totally meet, I can do Saturday" _ I could meet everyday but lets appear a little bit busy _"You let me now"_

Edward is typing…

And typing…

…

Jesus, was he writing the bible?

_"Saturday it's perfect for me actually. Why don't I meet you at campus and you can show me around, I have never been to LA ;)"_

Wait a minute, was he flirting?

_"Sure, lets meet at the library at say 11 and take it form there?"_

_"Perfect, see you then"_

_—_

I was pacing in my room, Jesus what am I going to wear? I had changed outfits more time that I would like to admit. But this was Edward! And he had asked me out (sort of) In my mind I knew we were hanging out as friends, of course we were. There was nothing romantic about this day, from his part. But I couldn't feel like an over excited teenager on her first date. I finally decided on denim cutoffs (hey, it was California after all) a white tank top and a flannel shirt around my waist in case it got cold. I put on my white converse and grabbed my favorite black bag.

I started walking to the library, my palms were sweating and my heart racing. Jesus Isabella calm the fuck down, you are just friends meeting. Then I saw him. He was standing under a tree checking his phone. He had dark fitted jeans on, and a white t-shirt, sunglasses in place and white converse. We kind of matched.

_"Hey" _I said when I was in ear range

"_oh, hi" _He looked up from his phone and smiled at me "_You look nice, California agrees with you"_

_"Thanks" _Cue blush "_So, what are you doing here in LA? I mean, not that I am not happy to see you I am just curious"_

_"Ah, one of my friends invited me to spend thanksgiving with him here and I thought I should contact you. He went to his grandmother's today"_

_"Tha is nice" _I smiled at him "_So, do you have anything in mind for today, we have my roommates car so we can practically go anywhere, don't worry about that"_

_"Great, there is somewhere I want to go first, but we can walk. Come on"_

_—_

We ended up in a little hole in the wall. It was a bookstore, every single book was used and it was charming, I loved it instantly. I was roaming around lost in my world while Edward talked to the owner. It turns out Edward had contacted the man before hand because he was looking for a Hemingway short story and it was been only published in paper in a book he couldn't find anywhere. The man had it ready for us when we entered. Jesus, could this boy be any more perfect?

After looking around we decided to grab some lunch before we headed to Los Angeles County Museum of Art, it was a typical tourist thing to do, but we kind of had to do it. We were currently eating at a hot spot in town. I was eating a salad and him a sandwich.

"_So, how's been LA treating you?" _He asked between bites

"_It's been amazing. School has been kicking my ass, but architecture is a demanding degree, I knew that. I am really liking it" _I took a sip from my coke "_What about you, how's the east coast?"_

_"Ah, amazing, I've been having the best semester so far, I have great expectations for this third year" _Was he happy because of _her? "Are you still seeing that boy from Forks, you know, Alex? or what was his name?"_

_"Alec. And yes I am still seeing him. Things are getting kind of serious actually"_

_"Serious enough to leave you alone on thanks giving weekend?" _

_"For your information I decided not to go, he did invite me. But I decided not too. I had a lot of homework" _How dare he! He knew nothing about Alec and me

"_Sorry, sorry, I over stepped, you are right. I apologize" _

_"Apology accepted. So, what have you been reading lately…"_

_—_

After that awkward lunch moment, everything went back to normal. He insisted on paying for lunch and I let him. We the headed to the museum and it was amazing. I really enjoy being in museums the is such tranquility there. After taking some photos, looking around and commenting about the pieces we saw Edward asked if we could go to the beach. He said his friend was picking him up there later. We ended up driving down to Venice beach and after purchasing some drinks we sat in the sand. We were having such a nice time, I always enjoyed my time with him but this day had been amazing. I was falling in love with him.

"_So, about earlier I really feel like a douche, its just that…that…" _He said after some time. Why was he bringing that up again?

"_Listen no need to apologize, it was not a big deal after all"_

_"It's just that you are such a nice girl you know? He should worship the ground you walk in. I just feel he doesn't deserve you" _What? Where was this coming from?

"_Edward…"_

_"Wait, I need to say this. You are beautiful and intelligent. You can hold a conversation really well. You know a lot about books, movies and art. You are passionate about things you love and if I were him I wouldn't let you out of my sight. I want you to know that if things had been different before, if I had met you earlier or if we lived in the same city I would…"_

_"Please don't" _I interrupted him, my voice breaking "_Please don't finish that sentence. There is no use in thinking about the what ifs. Life is how it is and you are not being fair to me or to your girlfriend saying this to me. You must have a clue how I feel about you. I like you Edward, but we can't be together anytime soon, so please don't fill my head with hopes and dreams that just wont be true, okay?"_

_"Bella…I just"_

_"No! Now you let me finish" _By this time there were tears running down my face "_You are being really selfish right now. You have a girl back home. I don't know her but no one deserves having their boyfriend telling other girls how pretty they are and how he wished things were different. And certainly I don't deserved to be let on by a boy I see two times a year. Edward I need to forget about you. And you have to let me. I don't think I can be just your friend you know? Ar least not now. Not when all I do is think about you every day. Even if we don't ever talk I just can't forget about you and it's messing with my head. I even cried when I saw you changed your Facebook status to in a relationship. How messed up is that?" _I took a death breath and stood up.

_"You are an amazing boy, but I have to take care of my self, and If that means I have to forget about you then I must, at least for now, so please let me do that" _I said looking him straight in the eye

"_I…I…am really sorry. You are right. and if that's what you need, I won't contact you any longer. But know this. If you ever need something you can always reach out to me okay? I am sorry things had to go this way, but maybe later in time we can be friends again"_

_"Maybe, but not for now. Please give me that" _I whispered "_I am going to go now. Have a safe trip back and good luck with everything. Good bye"_

He didin't answer and I drove back to campus crying like a mad woman.

When I arrived to my dorm I laid in bed and began thinking. I had done the right thing. I needed to forget about Edward if I wanted to go on with my life without him distracting me. I needed to fall out of love with him. And I realized I was not being fair either. I needed to end things with Alec, how could I give my body and time to someone when I was not in love with him? It was not fair to either of us. So as I laid there I promised myself that I would forget about Edward and I would make things right in other aspect of my life. Maybe it was time I concentrated in school and forget about boys for now. Forget about _him._

* * *

**_How was it? Do you think she did the right thing?_**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello, here is another update. I won't be updating with a schedule because I am back to school and I don't have much time. But I'll try. Hope you enjoy and let me know what you are thinking please! Reviews are appreciated**

** Nothing belongs to me, but the plot**

* * *

Thanksgiving weekend ended and I was certainly depressed. I has spent the remaining of the weekend eating ice cream directly from the tube and watching _The Holiday_. Jude Law was my guilty pleasure. It was Sunday night and the girls were supposed to be returning in a couple of hours. Alec too. I had texted saying we needed to meet. It was gonna be rough. But at the present time I was sitting in front of my computer facing Edward's Facebook page.

_"Okay you can do this" _I said to my self.

_You are no longer friends with Edward A. Masen_

It might seen a little bit extreme, but I knew myself and in this time of social media Facebook was my number one enemy against my resolution of forgetting about this boy. I also erased his phone number and email address. Better be sure I had zero contact with him. It was the only way.

After that I turned of my laptop and took a shower. While I was there I thought about what I was going to say to Alec when I saw him in a couple of hours. I needed to end things with him. He was a nice boy but I didn't feel like a should with him. It was not fair to him, I was just wasting his time.

—

_"Hey gorgeous! I missed you" _Alec said as soon as I opened the door of my dorm. He had come straight from his grandma's house.

"_I missed you too" _I said while hugging him. I was not lying, I had, but I had missed someone more for all this time.

"_What's up? You look funny?" _He said taking my face in his hands _"Have you been crying?"_

_"We need to talk Alec" _I said while sitting down in the common area sofa

"_Oh no, that it's never a good sign. Did I do something? Is it because I left you alone this weekend, because I did invite you Bella. I am sorry I didn't call much but family from all around the country came and I was busy"_

_"It's not that" _I said playing with my fingers "_I have not been honest with you Alec. I really like you and you are an amazing guy but I am not 100% into this, my heart it's not completely into this relationship"_

_"What?" _He said looking at me _"I thought we always had a good time. I thought you liked me"_

_"I do, I really like you, but I don't think it's enough. When I am with you I feel good, but I have felt amazing with someone before. You know? I know how much I can feel for someone, and I am just not feeling it with you. I am not giving you all that I am enough to give. Don't think you are not enough, it's not that. It's just that…"_

_"I am not _**_him" _**He interrupted me

_"Him?"_

_"Yes, that guy form the party back at Forks. It's him isn't it? I knew even back then that you loved him, but you were never saw him. What changed now?"_

_"He was here this weekend. Nothing happened, but I realized I am still in love with him and it's not fair to you"_

_"I don't care" _He said firmly "_I'll make you forget him Bella, please, just give me time"_

_"Don't ask me that. I already made my mind. I need to fall out of love and I need to focus on myself. No boys. Just me. Do you understand?"_

_"I do" _He said holding my hand "_You have to take care of yourself, but that does not mean I like it"_

_"I wish things could be different, easier for us" _I said, my voice breaking

"_Does this mean we can no longer talk?"_

_"No, we were friends before, we can be friends now, but I need you to promise me you'll respect my decision on this. We will be friends nothing more"_

_"Okay, I can handle that" _He said standing.

I walked him to the door and suddenly he turned and hugged me and whispered in my ear

"_I'll wait for now Isabella, I'll wait because that is what you need. But you are worth it and when the time comes I'll fight for you. He is an stupid boy, who let a great opportunity pass, I won't make the same mistakes" _He then kissed the corner of my mouth and left.

—

When the girls arrived later I was in tears on the sofa, I couldn't stop.

"_Jesus christ Bella, what is wrong? Are you hurt?" _Alice said sitting next to me as soon as she saw me "_Should I call Alec?"_

_"No! noo..do..don't call..him." _I managed to say between tears

"_Did that bastard do that to you?" _Rose asked "_Because I am not afraid of boys"_

_"No, it was all me. This is all my fault" _I said calming down a little

"_Oh, sweetie what happened?" _Alice asked stroking my arm

_"It is all Edward Masen's fault…" _

—

_"That bastard" _Rose said after I finished telling them my story

"_I think you did the right thing Bella" _Said Alice _"We sometimes get lost in all the drama boy and being single will be good for you, you can focus on yourself and you needs, you can focus on being a better person"_

_"Do you think I did the right thing breaking up things with Alec?"_

_"From what you told us he understood and it seems that he is interested enough to wait for you"_

_"You are right. I need this, and I think things will work out by themselves"_

_—_

The first months were hard. Even tough I didn't want to think about the things Edward had said to me that day at the beach my mind kept betraying me. I could be in the middle of something and out of nowhere that conversation would pup up in my head.

"_You are beautiful…"_

_"If things had been different…"_

_"If I had met you earlier…"_

Forgetting about him was harder that I thought. The simplest thing reminded me of him. A passage in a book, a line in a movie. The certain shade of a tree. The night were harder I felt lonely and I wish I could talk to him, talk to someone. But with time things got easier As the end of the semester approached I became busier with school and I had no time to think about him, I had no time at all if I was honest. I welcomed the rush and stress finals brought because my mind was occupied with something other than him.

The situation with Alec had been awkward at first, but that was given seeing as we had seen each other naked and now we had to act as friends. After some awkward interactions thing got better and we went back to being friends. Or at least that seemed. Sometimes I would catch him staring a little bit longer than friends would and he always found the excuse to touch me. Nothing to intimate just his hand in my back, on my elbow, his knee bumping into mine when we sat. He was a champ handling the situation, and I was grateful.

Before I knew it the end of the semester was here and I was going back to Washington for the holidays.

* * *

**How was that? Do you think she did the right thing? **

**We'll see what happens in Washington the next chapter :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**New chapter is here. Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think about it.**

**Nothing belongs to me but the plot.**

* * *

_Passengers flying to Seattle by American Airlines flight 90853 please head to boarding gate 16, we are about to start boarding process. _

Great! It was time to go. I closed my book and headed to my gate to go home. I was suddenly happy about papa Swan purchasing my tickets, as I was resting in my first class seat sipping on a mimosa. Ah, this is life. I slept most of the flight and next thing I knew the flight attendant was tapping my shoulder so I would prepare for landing. And getting ready I did. While in California the winter was pretty much not existent in Washington was brutal. I started putting on all my layers I had packed in my small bag. After some minutes I was ready to face the winter.

I was picking up my massive luggage. Jesus! What on earth had I packed? I finally mad it to the exit and saw a man in black suit whit a Mrs. Isabella Swan sign. My mom had texted me that they were sending a driver up here to pick me up. Yeah, I missed you guys too. Typical.

"_Miss Swan?" _The man asked

"_Yeah, well, just call me Bella please"_

_"Bella then, let me take your things. Your father sent me to pick you up and drive you down to Forks"_

_"Thank you"_

the drive was long and silent. I spent most of it reading and after a couple of hours we pulled in front of residence Swan. After the driver helped me to carry my things inside I headed upstairs and heard my parents in their room.

"_Hi" _I said peeking inside "_I've arrived"_

_"Oh sweetie" _My mom hugged me "_You look so grown up. California agrees with you, you look great" _

"_Good to have you back Isabella" _Charlie said while hugging me.

—

It turned out they had not missed me that much since they left as soon as I arrived and I was suddenly alone at home and had nothing to do. I had been expecting to spent some time with them but I guess they had other plans.

I decided to lay down a little and soon I was asleep.

—

.Beep.

What is that? Mmmmm no bunny come back. Jesus what is that noise? Ah.

I suddenly woke up and saw that my phone was going off. Local Washington number.

_"Hello?" _I answered with a sleepy voice

"_Bella? It's me Angela. Jessica and I arrived earlier today and we ran into your mom at the club and mentioned you were here. Do you want to hang out?"_

_"Hey Angie! Sure, why don't you stop by, we can do something here"_

_—-_

The girls arrived an hour latter and we were sitting in my room catching up. Angela looked basically the same, she had somewhat upgraded her wardrobe and her clothes were not so conservative anymore but still nothing to sexy. Jessica was exactly the same, except she had lost a fe pounds and maybe gotten taller.

"_So Belly, how's California treating you" _Jessica asked while sipping from her coffee

"_Amazing. School is kicking my ass but I have amazing roommates and I have met a lot of interesting people you know? What about you both, how's school?"_

_"Oh Bella, it's amazing" _Angela answered "_I love all my classes, and life there is much more exciting. I've met a lot of people too"_

_"Sure you have" _Jessica snickered

"_I am going out with a boy" _Angela said blushing

"_She is going out with Ben! You remember him right? Greek extraordinaire" _

_"Oh Angie" _I said "_I didn't know you liked him"_

_"I didn't but we ended up sharing a couple of classes and we clicked. He is amazing Bella. What about you?" _

_"Well, I went out with Alec for almost all of the semester but we ended things just after thanksgiving" _

_"Why?" asked Jess "He was hot, and you always seemed to like him"_

_"It's just that my heart was not completely into it, and it was not fair to him…you know?"_

_"Do you like someone else?" _Angela asked now

"_I thought I didn't but thanksgiving weekend I ran into Edward in California. Well, more like we meat up and talked and he fucked with my mind" _I then proceed to tell them about the day I had spent with him and all that happened after that.

They both were supportive on my campaign _Lets forget about Edward, _but they thought I should give Alec a chance again. I was not so sure about that.

"_It sounds like he was crazy about you" _Angela said

"_And I bet the sex was great" _Jessica. Typical.

"_He is crazy about me, or so he says and the sex was great but I think I need some time for myself you know?" _

_—_

Winter break came and went. I spend most of the time at home or at Jessica's or Angela's house. We became closer than ever and promised to stay in touch this time. We even went to some parties in town and saw some of my old classmates. It was nice, but I was ready to head down to California.

—

_"Remember I am flying down next month sweetie" _My mom said while we drove to Seattle "_I will let you know the details as soon as I book my flight"_

_"Yes mom, it'll be great to have you there. I'll show you around. I have missed you" _I said "_I have missed you both" _I said looking at Charlie

"_We have missed you too Bella" _Said my dad "_Sorry we have not been in touch as much as I would have liked, but we'll visit this time, and I was thinking we can all go on a little vacation in your spring break week" _

_"I would love that" _I said

After some time we arrived and we were at Sea tac front gate. I stood in front of my parents and said goodbye.

"_Isabella, I have a late christmas present for you"_ Said Charlie while pulling a key ring from his pocket and giving it to me

"_Emmm, thanks dad" _I said confused "_I'll use it for my dorm keys"_

_"Or you could use it for your new car"_

_"What car?"_

_"The one that is waiting for you at the dealership down in California. I arranged everything and you just have to pick it up as soon as you land. Merry Christmas" _

_"Oh, thank you, thank you" _I said while hugging him

"_We have to go Charles" _My mom said

I said goodbye to both of them and hugged my dad once more before heading inside.

After checking in and getting my boarding pass ready I headed towards my designated gate and waited for my flight. I was in cloud nine about my car.I was so distracted with my news and texting my friends about it that I didn't notice a pair of green eyes that followed me as I boarded my plane to California.

* * *

**You didn't think I was going to let them meet again would you? Slow boil, remember.**

**Until next time.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Next chapter is here. Nothing belongs to me but the plot.**

* * *

School started and it was even harder than last time. It was crazy demanding but I was loving it. I had a lot of homework and eve thought I had barely any written exams it was a lot of practical work. Through the semester I improved my GPA and started focusing on myself instead of my social life. I had started doing Yoga in the mornings which helped with the sore back I always had from sitting so long in front of my desk drawing and I starting eating healthier. I was no vegan but I tried to eat healthy things, it was my body after all.

I had kept my promise of no boys and remained single for what was left of the semester. It was easier than I thought. A couple of boys asked me out but I politely declined and Alec was still around but he had kept his promise too, he was waiting.

It turned out that during spring break I couldn't accompany my parents on our family vacation since I had a brutal project coming up and spent the whole week working on it. My mom did fly down to visit me and we had a great time. She met Alice, Rosalie and even Alec while she was down here and she loved them. Life was being good to me.

It was the end of the semester and we were packing to leave to our respective houses. I was going to Texas to spend a couple of weeks at Rosalie's, sadly Alice couldn't come since it was her mother birthday and she had to go back home to celebrate with her.

"_It's not fair" _Alice said while folding some of her clothes "_I wish I could go too. I love my mom but it sucks that I'll be sitting with my family while you are out probably having fun with sexy cowboys" _

_"Don't be so dramatic Alice" _Rose said "_It's just a week and we can see each other some other time. Besides you know Bella here has sworn off the opposite sex, we won't be having THAT much fun"_

_"Well now that you mention it…" _I said "_It wouldn't hurt to find a texan boy to have a good time with, nothing serious, but I am kind of lonely and need some human contact, if you know what I mean?"_

_"Why Swan? tired of flicking your own bean?"_

—

We arrived to Houston that night, and some fancy limo picked us up. The driver greeted Rose like old friends and we drove to a fancy neighborhood with amazing houses. We pulled up in front of a freaking huge mansion.

"_This is home" _Rose said

"_Jesus, Rosalie, this is huge" _I said "_And beautiful, who build this? How old is it? Can you give me a tour?_

_"Wow, wow, clam down architecture geek, we will have time for that later. For now lets go inside and have something to eat then we can sleep and tomorrow we'll do anything you want"_

We went inside and Rosalie's housekeeper greeted us and prepared us something to eat. Rosalie's parents were in the oil business and were currently out of the country. It seemed like it was fairly normal.

"_They send their regards Miss" _Maria, the housekeeper said while we were eating

"_Well they could have send them to me. But, well it's nothing new. The Hale's have some millions to win, their daughter can wait" _Rose said bitterly.

Ouch. I guess her life was not as perfect as it seemed.

—

Next morning we decided to head down to the country club where Rosalie's family was a member. We could have used her own pool but she proposed we go to the club so we could meet some of her high school friends.

"_I must warn you though, we might run into some mean kids" _Rose said while driving her convertible

"_Don't worry Rosie" I said " I can handle my own, I've met my fair share of bitchy people"_

_"I am serious Bella, this'll be like Gossip Girl from the south. I am talking major leagues, here. Senators sons, old magnates and all that. Just be ready, okay?"_

_— _

_"So Rose, how's California?" _A barbie doll asked while sipping from her drink "_Any surfer lovers down there"_

We were currently sitting next to the main pool in our bikinis, shades on and drinks in hand bathing in the Texan sun.

_"Not really" _Rose said "_Engineering school is kind of demanding you know?"_

_"I don't get you" _Said Barbie "_You could have stayed here and by now you would be married to Royce and you wouldn't have to study. You could be set for life"_

Was this girl serious? Didn't she want something out of life at all?

"_Royce and I are history. It's for the best that we ended things and I rather get things by my own merits than get them from daddy dearest"_

_"Oh" _She said, then turning her attention to me "_So, Bella, what about you? Any lover boys in Cali?"_

_"Not really, I decided to focus on school this semester. Besides, architecture is very demanding and I didn't have time to go out with anyone"_

_"That's a shame" _She answered "_You are really cute, maybe we can find you a cowboy here in Texas. Summer romance and all that" _

_"Maybe" _

_—_

That night we were going to a friends of Rosalie party. She said it will be fun and since be had been drinking since midday I was fairly drunk and everything seemed like a good idea.

_"Wear something sexy Bella, this is your introduction the southern elite world" _She said while fixing her hair

"_I wish I could go naked" _I said looking for something to wear "_I am melting"_

I ended up wearing a grey cotton dress. It had straps in the front but the back was practically non existent. No bra allowed. I pun on some long necklaces and put my hair up un a messy but trendy pony tail. I kept my makeup light but my lips were a dark shade or red and I pun on some cute scrappy sandals.

—

By the time we arrived the party was in full swing and everyone seemed to know Rosalie. I met some of her friends and was honestly having a good time. Her friends were pretty cool and kept me entertained. During some time I wandered around the party while Rosie fired with some massive boy, Felix was his name I thought.

I found myself in the kitchen pouring myself a drink when a boy was suddenly behind me grinding against my ass.

"_I finally found you sweetheart" _He whispered in my ear. His breath smelled like beer and tobacco "_I've been looking for you all night" _

_"Get off me" _I said turning around and trying to get away from him, but he was taller and stronger and I was having a hard time. I began to panic and was about to knee him in his nuts, when he was suddenly ripped away from me.

I saw the back of a blonde guy while he pushed the offender on the floor and hit him.

"_You get your hands of her, you hear me? If the lady said no, you better listen asshole, and I better not see you around bothering other girls?" _The blonde savior said while standing up and pushing the boy out of the kitchen.

"_Are you okay Bella?" _He asked turning to look at me and I was suddenly met with a pair of blue eyes that I had not seen since my sophomore year at Oxford High.

"_Jasper?"_

* * *

**Oh, oh. Jasper is back. **


	14. Chapter 14

**New chapter. If you are not into smut you can probably skip this. If you are, then enjoy.**

* * *

"_I saw you come in with Rosalie, I thought I should say hi, and then I saw that douchebag bothering you" _He said running a hand through his hair

"_Yes, thank you. How have you been?" _I asked feeling awkward all of sudden. I mean, this was Jasper and I had not seen him in three years. Long gone was the teenager I knew in High School. In front of me stood a man.

"_Good" _He smiled down at me. By this time I was with my back to the kitchen counter and he was standing in front of me, closer than normal so we could hear each other above the music "_You look really nice Bella. I heard you went to California for college. How's that been?" _

_"It's been great. What about you, you are here in Texas no?" _

_"Yeah. Actually I just graduated, I managed to graduate earlier by taking summer classes and taking some extra credit classes. I am a full adult now" _He said, then he took a drink from his beer. I could see the muscles of his throat and I was mesmerized by it.

"_Adult? Uhh? In a college party no less" _I said smirking

"_Well, it's kind of difficult to avoid the party when it's at your house"_

_"It's your party?"_

_"No, one of my cousin's but he asked me if he could throw it here. And being the great cousin that I am I said he could"_

_"Thats nice of you. The free alcohol and young girls wouldn't have anything to do with it?" _I said, then taking a sip from my drink and licking my lips. I was kind of drunk and I had forgotten how hot Jasper was. I was looking for a summer fling, maybe he could be it no? I already knew him.

"_Maybe a little bit" _He said coming closer "_So, not to sound rude or anything but what are you doing here in Texas, since you came with Rosalie I am guessing you know her"_

_"Yeah, we are roommates at UCLA and she incited me to spend a couple of weeks here with her, we just arrived today"_

_"That's nice. I never knew Rosalie much, but she is friend's with my cousin. And what where you doing alone in a party where you don't know anyone?"_

_"I was with Rose but decided to wander off since she was flirting with a guy and I don't want to be a third wheel. But I am actually happy I ran into you"_

_"So you don't have to be alone" _He said coming closer

"_Yes, and no" _Closer "_You know I like you, we always had a good time together in high school"_

_"Yeah_" He said smiling, the he became serious "_We always did, until we didn't. I am sorry by the way now that I think about it I feel kind of like a douche bag, I could have handled things better at the end"_

_"Hey.." _I said putting a hand in his chest and looking up at him "_We were kids Jasper, and besides it was an amicable breakup compared to other high school drama that happened back then"_

_"Yeah, but I still feel like I owe you an apology"_

_"Well apology accepted" _I said

"_Do you wanna dance?" _He asked me with a mischievous smile on his face, I accepted and drank the remain of my drink and took his hand.

And that's how I next found myself dancing with Jasper Whitlock surrounded by sweaty unknown bodies in Texas. I knew I was playing with fire. He was my ex boyfriend but at that moment I fell fantastic in his arms, and I certainly did not care about the consequences, I would think about that tomorrow.

The beat was slow and we were dancing face to face. His hands were in my hips and my arms were around his neck. We were smiling like fools. Then he pulled me closer and my chest was flat with his and one of his legs ended up between mine. Then one of his hands went lower until it was on my behind and the other was running up and down my back, and since my dress was backless his skin was in direct contact with mine.

"_I had forgotten how beautiful you were" _He said in my ear "_And how good you felt in my arms" _

I felt his breath against my ear, and his lips brushing against the skin there. His face remained there and he was suddenly running his lips up and down my neck, not kissing, just grazing. My hips were swaying with the music and so were his. I could feel his body agains mine and it felt amazing. Then his movements became bolder and I felt his tongue in my neck, licking and his lips nipping. Then my earlobe was between his teeth and I gasped.

"_I had forgotten how responsive you were" _He said against my mouth and next kissed me. I couldn't help but compared it with our first kiss almost three years ago, and oh what a difference 3 years had made. Back the our kisses had been the clumsy ones proper of a pair of teenagers, this kiss was one given by a man. First his lips just moved against mine, but then he pushed through my lips with his tongue and ran it in the inside of my bottom lip also touching my bottom tweet. After I granted him entrance he attacked my mouth and took control of it. He massaged my tongue with his and I was getting seriously turned on. While his mouth was attacking mine one of his hands was gripping my ass and kneading it above my cotton dress and the other hand was running up my thigh now below my dress almost reaching my hip. We were surely giving an spectacle to everyone but at this point I couldn't give a shit.

"_Jasper…" _I whispered breaking away from the kiss and playing with the hair on the back of his neck. That seemed to break him out of his trance and suddenly he gripped my hand and he was dragging me across the party and up the stairs. While we walked I could hear some cheers and catcalls from the guests at the party. Typical. We were suddenly in a room, which I suspected was Jasper's, and as soon as we were inside he had me pressed with my back against the door.

"_Jesus…_" He whispered attacking my neck and running his hands ups and down my legs "_If I thought you were hot in high school you are a goddess now Bella" _

"_Please…Jasper" _I said while wrapping one of my legs around him and grinding my hips against his.

He took the hint and suddenly lift me up and I had my legs wrapped around him above his hips while he had his hands firmly in my behind below my dress. He started kissing me again and I had my arms around his neck. In this position I was slightly taller than him and he had perfect access to the girls. He realized the soon enough and was kissing my breasts above the thin material of my dress.

"_Aghhhg no bra. I new it. And I know you have a thong underneath this, I could feel it while we were dancing. It was driving me wild" _He said against my chest.

He then went for it and started licking my right nipple through the fabric leaving a wet spot over it, one of his hands left my ass and started tweaking my other nipple with it. I was panting and grunting like an animal. I had been without human contact for 6 months and I was going crazy. I was rocking my center in his middle, but I needed more an it seemed like he realized because suddenly I was back on my feet and he walked my to the back of his couch and I was gripping it like my life depended on it.

"_Hold on to it Bella" _He said standing behind me "_Because I am gonna make you come so hard you'll need something to hold onto. I am gonna show I am a man no, no longer the boy you knew" _He whispered against my ear.

He had positioned himself behind me, his chest against my back and I could feel how excited he was. He started kissing the column of my neck and I was suddenly happy I had decided to wear a pony tale tonight. His hands were gripping my hips hard and I was sure there would be bruises tomorrow but I was enjoying this too much. He started kissing and licking my naked back and his hands started pushing my dress upwards until it was bunched around my waist and my ass was in full display. He started grinding against it, his hands went under my dress and started playing with my breasts. He then ran a hand above my panties cupped me above them.

"_You are soaked Bella" _He said "_Open you legs wider sweetheart"_

He then pushed one of his legs between mine and rubbed me right _there. _I was grinding myself in his tight with my ass in the air and my back arched. The denim of his jeans felt amazing against me and I was rubbing against him like a dog in heat.

"_I can feel you through the fabric, you are soaking me through it Bella" _He panted against my hear bitting and licking it "_You'll leave a wet spot on my pants, that's how wet you are for me"_

_"Please…" _I panted

"_Please what sweetheart?" _

"_I need more" _I said while position one of my hands above his and applying pressure above where I needed him the most.

_"Tell me what you need" _He said smiling against my skin

"_Anything, you…pl..please"_

He the stopped all his ministrations and I was about to cry when I heard him drop down to his knees behind me and started kissing my cheeks. He then dragged my thong down my legs and dived right in. He spread my legs wider and I leaned mover over the back of the sofa so my ass was up in the air and he had perfect access to my most intimate parts. I had never had oral sex from this position and was kind of self-conscious about it but as soon as his tongue made contact with me I forgot all about it. He ran his tongue through my folds and I saw stars.

"_Lift your leg sweetheart, rest it on the back of the sofa. I need more space" _I did as he said and I was open for him, like a buffet.

He started licking more rapidly and he then plunged two fingers inside me and started moving them them inside me. In and out, in and out. Then with his other hand he opened my folds wider and went for my clit. He flicked it with his tongue and started pumping his fingers harder. I the felt my toes curl, my muscles contract and I lost consciousness for about a second.

I was panting trying to ready my breath when I heard the ruffling of clothes and realized Jasper was unbuttoning his jeans and pulling his pants down. He barely hand them down his hips, just enough to pull himself out of his boxers. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew there was something strange about this, he was practically dressed but I was to horny to think about that now. He them pressed himself against my back and rubbed himself against my back. He then pulled a condom from a pocket of his jeans and rolled it on.

"_Agh, Bella…I can't wait" _He panted against my back "_I wanna take you from behind"_

_"Yes, please"_

As soon as the words were out of my mouth he slammed into me and started groaning like a madman. He was gripping my hips and I was rocking my ass against him, meeting him trust for trust. He was stretching me and it felt amazing. I had broken a sweat and I could feel drops of sweat dripping down my back and I felt his tongue licking them. I could hear his skin slapping against mine and when he brought his hand to where we were joined and started playing with me I could no longer hold it.

"_Jasper…I am…I am gonnaaaaa…." _I couldn't talk

"_Ugh…ghhh…yes baby, let go"_

And let go I did. Suddenly my legs gave out and he hold me while he was still trusting inside me, after some time his movements became erratic and then he came grunting like an animal.

—

We were sitting in the floor of his room with our backs to the sofa we had just used for our rendezvous and we were panting. He had pulled his pants up and I had pulled my dress down. My panties were around somewhere and I doubt I could use then anymore anyway. He had his eyes closed and was running his hands up and down my leg, my head rested agains his shoulder.

"_Jasper?" _I whispered

"_Yes?" _He answered still with his eyes closed

"_I am glad I ran into you"_

* * *

**_Holy... How was that? I swear there was a reason for this scene. We'll found out about it later. _**


	15. Chapter 15

**New chapter. Kind of struggled with this chapter. But here it is. Hope you enjoy. And thank you to all the new followers, you might not be a lot but I really appreciate it. Now, let me know what you think.**

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"_So…Jasper Withlock huh?" _Rosalie said the next morning while we were eating breakfast at her kitchen.

After our passionate encounter last night, I had spent the rest of the party with Jasper, and when Rosalie wanted to leave I said goodbye to him with a sweet kiss. Rose was static that I had hooked up with Jasper. Me? Not so much. After we arrived home we went to bed, but I spent all night turning in bed thinking about my night. I couldn't help but to feel kind of bad about my night. I had had sex with a bout I had not seen in three years, and all it took was some sweet nonsense in my ear and I was set. Was I that easy? Don't get me wrong. I love sex and getting pleasure from someone else, what I didn't like was this feeling I got afterwards. Like something was missing. And I knew what it was. Suddenly I realized that I didn't want to share my body with just anyone, I wanted to be in love. I wanted that someone to deserve my pleasure and I his. And there laying in bed at 3 am in the morning in Houston I promised myself that the next time I shared my body with someone I would be in love with that person, because it had suddenly become to intimate to me. Too special to be giving away.

"_Yeah. We dated back in high school when he was shipped to Washington to tame his rebellious ways"_

_"Was he as reclusive as he is now?" _Rose asked.

"_What do you mean reclusive? Jasper ran with the popular crowd back in Washington. He had friends everywhere, he was considered what you could say popular" _I was confused, Jasper was easy going and practically everyone liked him back then, he was never really alone.

"_Then it must have been the Maria incident then. Before tonight I had never seen him interested in a girl since her"_

_"Maria? Who's her?" _I asked suddenly intrigued

"_She was Jasper's girlfriend during his first semester in College. I know because her mom is a friend of mines. Anyway, they were like the perfect suture couple. Big families that came from old money. Practically royalty"_

_"What happened then?" _I suddenly wasn't so sure I wanted to know about this.I could feel in my bones that this has not a happy story.

_"Well, right after their first year at school they were out on a date and Jasper was driving. He must have gotten distracted or something, because they crashed into a truck. It was brutal. She died instantly and Jasper got seriously burned. He spent all that summer getting treated. Rumor has it he was in a mental hospital trying to get over Maria's death. But I think it's a bunch of crap. And after that he went back to school and invested all his time in that. From what I heard he had not many friends after that, and obviously no interest in girls. Until you, that is. Probably half the party wanted to be you last night?"_

While Rosalie told me the story I sat there unable to move. Jasper had been trough hell and I didn't even know. While I was living the dream in Washington he was suffering here. I suddenly felt like throwing up and starting to cry. I wanted to see him, to hug him. I wanted to go back in time and be there for him, It couldn't have been easy for him.

_"Jesus, I don't know what to say. I can't imagine the Jasper I knew back then login through all of that, and alone most of all"_

_"Yeah, it must have been rough for him, but it seems…"_

Rosalie was interrupted by the doorbell

"_I wonder who that is?"_

Her question was answered when her housekeeper walked into the kitchen and said

"_Miss Rosalie, there is a Mr Jasper Whitlock here, he's looking for Miss Swan"_

I almost fainted. He was here looking for me? Right now? Right after I learned what had happened to him? I was suddenly nervous and my palms began to sweat.

_"Tell him to come in" _Rosalie said to her "_And show him to the living room, tell him Bella will be there shortly"_

_"What?" _I suddenly said looking at Rosalie "_Rose, I can't see him right now. I don't know what to say to him. I look like crap and I feel really shaken up about what you just told me about him"_

_"Come on Bella, don't be dramatic. For all you know he's here because he want another round of what you gave him last night. And if he wants to talk then you talk, weren't you just saying you wished you could have been there for him?"_

_"Yes, but…"_

_"But nothing, now go to him"_

_—_

_"Hey" _I said walking into the living room. He was with his back to me and was looking at photos of Rose's family that were over the chimney. Why do they have a chimney in Texas?

"_Hi" _He said turning to look at me "_How are you"_

_"Why are you here Jasper" _Straight to the point Swan

"_I…I…I don't really know. I wanted to see you and I guess I kind of wanted to apologize about tonight" _He said while taking a seat in a sofa. I walked and sat besides him "_I haven't seen you in three years and the first night we meet again I attack you like a animal. I am so sorry Bella, it's just that…that…"_

_"That what Jasper? Besides, you don't have to apologize. I was a willing participant too. But thank you for the apology" _

We were quiet a couple of minutes after that and the he spoke again.

"_I know you think I shouldn't apologize, but I do Bella. I was having a crappy night and suddenly there you were, like a vision. You were standing there, after three years and you looked so beautiful, and you made me remember simple times in my life. And I wanted simple, I wanted simple so bad"_

_"Am I simple?" _I asked honestly a little offended

"_Fuck, no. Shit, that's not what I meant" _He said running a hand through his hair "_It's just that it has been a rough couple of years for me and I kind of wanted to forget all about it, I wanted to go back to my earlier life. When I was happier and didn't have that much garbage in my life. And you were the perfect excuse. I am sorry"_

_"I know" _I said looking at him straight in the eye, and I think he realized I knew he was sorry, but that I also knew about his rough time.

"_Oh" _He then laugh humorlessly "_I was kind of hoping you wouldn't hear about that"_

_"I am sorry, Rosalie told me this morning. Don't be mad at her, I just want to know what you had been up to"_

_"It's okay, it's not like it is a secret. I just wanted to keep those two parts of my life separately, you know? Don't mix the good with the bad"_

_"Hey" _I said taking one of his hands in mine and turning his palm up. I could see some scar tissue running down his arm peeking under his shirt "_It's all part of who you are now Jasper. The good and the bad in our lives make us who we are. You can't live wishing for the past to come back, you gotta take what you have and make the most of it. I am sure that you are still that amazing boy that I met back in high school. No, wait. You are a man now, and I am sure you are even better than before. You learnt from this hurtful time of you life, but I think it's time for you to start living again"_

_"I had forgotten how initialing you were Isabella Swan" _He said taking my face between his hands and brushing my lower lip with his thumb "_Can I kiss you? Properly this time"_

_"No" _I said getting my face free from his hands. He was suddenly getting away from me and I could see in his eyes that he was hurting

"_Hey, look at me" _I said taking his hands in mine "_It's not because of you okay? Not because of what happened to you, or even because of last night. This is about me, I promised myself that the next time I share my body with someone it would be because I share my heart too. Last night left me feeling kind of empty inside, and I am not telling you this to make you feel bad, but to let you understand why what happened last night won't be happening again"_

_"No, I totally understand. I fucked you like an animal last night. I fell like I used you. I fell like I rated you beneath what you deserved. You should be treated like a queen"_

_"We are both adults, please stop feeling guilty about it. How about we leave it in the past?"_

_"Okay" _He said standing up "_I must go now, I have some errands to run" _

_"Okay I'll walk you to the door"_

We had reached the door and he was already out the house when he suddenly turned to me and said

"_Can I take you out to dinner tonight?" _He asked

"_I don't think that's a good idea Jasper"_

_"You said you wanted to share your heart with someone you cared about, and this morning made me realize I want to be that someone, like I was once before. Would you let me?"_

* * *

**_What do you think? Should she?_**


	16. Chapter 16

**Happy Valentines day. Here is my gift to you. **

**Nothing belongs to me, but the plot.**

* * *

"_So, Bella, how was Texas?" _My mom asked while we were having lunch at some _in _place after her and my dad picked me up from the airport.

"_Great. I had a great time" _I answered absentmindedly while playing with the food on my plate. I had really enjoyed spending time with Rose alone. We had bonded, and realized we had more in common than we thought. I had met a bunch of her friends and they were pretty cool. But of course there was Jasper. I kept replaying our conversation in my head, and event ought it made me sad I was sure I had made the right decision for everyone involved. Specially me.

—

_" I can't Jasper. I am leaving in two weeks and we won't see each other in god knows how long" _I said swallowing the lump in my throat. I kind of wanted to say yes. I wanted to feel loved again and I missed the company of being in a relationship, but we lived in different states and I had been trough that. I would go crazy caring so much for someone that I never saw. I needed to protect my heart.

"_We could make it work. We work really well together, Isabella" _He said taking my hand.

"_Maybe we could, but two weeks are not enough time to find out. Lets face it, we no longer know each other Jasper. I have changed too…"_

_"We do know each other Bella, we were amazing once"_

_"Exactly! Once! Back in high school! And honestly I don't know if you want me back because of who I am or if it is because of how you feel with me, if it is because you somehow feel like you go back in time, and I can't handle that right now. Please understand. I don't need complicated right now"_

_"I would nerve use you to feel better, you know that" _He said back

"_Really?!" _Sarcasm dripping from my voice "_Because isn't that exactly what you did last night? And I am not blaming you, because for I moment I imagined you were someone else from my past too. And you know what that tells me? That neither you and I are ready for this, and as much as I wanted for this to work its not the time"_

_—_

After that talk in front of Rosalie's house I didn't see Jasper again, but I did received a message that I am sure was from him

_I am sorry. Maybe some other time, some other place, some other life._

It made me sad, I am sure he was an amazing boy but not for me. At least not now. I was not ready to commit to anyone but my self right now, and even though I had slipped in Texas I still promised myself to focus on myself.

—

Summer came and went. I saw Angela and Jessica in Washington, and event ought I would like to say we were as close as we were before, that was sadly not the case. It somehow felt forced. We were too different now, each one had their own interests and even thought I still cared for each one of them deeply I no longer felt like we connected.

The last time we hung out that summer I felt like we were saying goodbye. Not as in _we will never see each other again, _but more as saying goodbye to our friendship. I had heard this would happen. That you would grow apart, but I never imagined it would happen so soon. One year apart and we no longer felt like we had things in common. I was sad when they left and sat in my bed crying silently.

"_Sweetie?" _My mom said standing in my door "_Are you okay? Did something happen with Angela and Jessica?" _She said walking and sitting down next to me "_You know you can talk to me"_

_"I…I…" _I tried to say through my tears "_I just realized we were not as close as before. I felt disconnected from them, and I am sad about it"_

_"Ohh sweetie, it happens all the time" _She said running her hand up and down my back "_People grow apart, they grow up, and even though we wished we could stop time and stay as comfortable we once were I sorry to tell you we can't" _

_"I know. I just wasn't prepared to let go of them so soon" _I said laying down in bed "_I was not prepared to let go of my life here so soon. I feel like I have nothing here left, apart from you and dad, and honestly you are not much around"_

_"I know sweetie, it's just that your dad is so busy with work lately. But you know we do all of this for you, to give you the life you deserve"_

_"I know and I am grateful for that. I am sorry I am such a mess, I don't know why I cant stop crying" _

_"I think you just realized you are growing up and you are not finding it as easy as you thought you would"_

_—_

It turned out my mom was right. I spent that night trying to put name of the feelings I had inside my heart.

I was _sad _for the life I had left behind here. For the friends I could no longer relate to, the house that no longer felt my own, the memories that seemed more like dreams now. I was sad for everything I was living behind here.

I was _scared _of the things that were to come. What if growing up was not as easy as I thought? Could I handle all the responsibility that came with being an adult? With if I didn't make the right decisions? I could no longer rely in my parents to make them from me. Now I was becoming an adult.

I felt _alone, _because even tough I had friends and my parents I longed for that company that only a relationship gave you. Telling someone about your day while you lay in bed or drink a beer in your living room. I missed the warm of another body next to you in bed. It was not the physical company I craved, but the motional one.

But I was also feeling positive things at the same time.

I was _grateful _for the new opportunities I had in California, I was grateful for Rosalie and Alice and all the new things in my life. I was also grateful for the things I had experienced here in Washington.

I was _happy _for the things that were to come.

* * *

**Kind of short chapter but emotional, especially for me. Facing your emotions is never easy and growing up I had a really tough time doing that. **

**Hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think. **


	17. Chapter 17

_Yay! update._

_First of all I want to thank everyone who has favorited/followed this story. It's an honor to know you like it. I really appreciate it. Special thanks to _**_TexasTwilight77 _**_and my most loyal follower _**_jay7795_**_. Reviews are important and I would like to know what you think so I could improve the story._

_Some of you asked how old Bella is now. She turned 19 this summer and it's about ot start her sophomore year at UCLA._

_Don't know anything, but the plot._

* * *

Summer was over and I was back to UCLA to start my sophomore year. I was taking some really interesting classes in the art branch, but the obligatory architecture courses were kicking my ass already.

_"So, where are we going tonight?" _Alice asked from her spot in the living room couch

"_There is a party of a girl in my calculus class" _Rose said

"_I cannot go out tonight" _I answered while flipping through my Facebook feed in my phone "_I have to finish some drawings for one of my classes and write and essay for art history class" _

_"Ahhhh come on Bella" _Rose said "_Don't be a party pooper! Come out and have some fun with us" _

_"Thanks Rose, but I really can't"_

_—_

The girls ended up going out without me that night and it seriously sucked. I really wanted to go, but I needed to focus on school, and I couldn't afford to go out and spent the next day hungover in bed.

I was just finishing my last sketch when I heard Rosalie get in, but she was not alone. I could hear some voices with her and decided to go say hi. When I got out of my room and into the living room I could see who was with her. There were two boys. They were both huge, like weightlifting huge. Dark hair and clear blue eyes. There were two girls too. They were both blondes and amazingly beautiful. They were all dressed for a party, and here I was in my ratty old pajamas.

"_Hey Bella, sorry if we woke you up" _Rose said slurring her speech a little "_I thought we were being quiet" _She was playing with a small box wrapped in paper in her hands

"_Ohhh don't worry" _I said "_I was still up sketching for a project. But I and about to go to bed, I just wanted to say hi"_

_"Don't be that way sweetheart" _One of the boys said looking me up and down and making me feel like I was naked "_Why don't you stay and …"_

_"Leave her alone" _Rose interrupted the stud "_You can go to bed Bella, we'll be quiet. Go rest"_

_"Okay, goodnight y'all"_

I left them in the living room and went to bed. As I lay in bed that night I couldn't help but think that there was something strange about the scene that had played out. What was I missing? I knew deep in my bones that there was something strange about it, but before I could figure out what was out of place sleep took me.

—

After that night things went pretty much back to normal. I spent all of my time in school related things while Alice and Rose partied hard. At first they always went out together but as the semester progressed it was mostly Rosalie who went out. She started sleeping at her friends' houses and when she did get home she spent all of her time whole up in her room. I was starting to worry when I noticed how she started missing classes and losing weight. I was seeing her throw her life away and I couldn't just stand and let her do it.

"_Hey Rosie" _I said standing in her doorframe. She was laying in her bed. It was Thursday afternoon and according to the schedule pinned to the board in the living room she was supposed to be in class "_Not going to class today?"_

_"Naaaa" _She said sitting up in her bed "_I am not really feeling up to it, besides I went out last night with Felix and Demetri I am tired"_

Felix and Demetri were the two studs I saw with Rosie that first weekend and since then they have been practically inseparable, along with Giana and Tanya.

"_Ohh. I see" _I said

"_You see what?" _She answered getting all defensive "_If you wanna say something, say it Bella"_

_"Nothing, its just that I am worried Rosalie" _I said stepping into the room and sitting in her desk chair "_You've been going out almost daily, you miss classes, you are losing weight like crazy and you disappear all weekend. I hardly see you anymore and when you are here you just sleep and stay in bed all day"_

_"Come on Bella, don't lecture me. Just because you don't have any fun doesn't mean I cant have any. Okay?"_

_"It's not that Rose, I am just worried"_

_"Well, don't. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I don't need you to do it for me" _She said in a cold tone

_—_

That was the first of many fights we had that semester. I tried to reach to her, but I couldn't. I even made Alice talk to her but she got the same results as me, and as I tried harder to reach her the further away she went. I was consumed with worry and there wasn't a thing I could do.

"_I am really worried Alice" _I said to her one night while we were in the kitchen. We were alone. Rosalie had gone out that night.

"_I am too Bella. But honestly we had tried to reach out to her, but she doesn't let us. We are all adults and if she wants to ruin her life let her. We had done everything we could"_

_—_

Before we knew it the semester was over and Rose let us know that she was leaving the dorms and going to live with Gianna and Tanya next semester. By this time we hardly spoke and when we did you could feel the tension rolling of waves.

Alice and I had decided to move off campus too and get an apartment together. We got one not that far from school, but far enough so we felt like we had other things to do apart from university.

When moving date came, we all packed our belongings and we said goodbye to Rosalie. I could hardly believe that the girl that I had spent summer with not 6 moths ago was the same one standing in front of me. As we packed our last things I took a moment to appreciate her.

She was putting some books in a box while smoking a cigarette. She had lost a lot of weight. Her once voluptuous body was now practically a sac of bones. Her once shinny hair laid now lifeless against her pale face. What had happened to this girl that she wanted to destroy herself so bad?

When all was packed and we were all ready to go we said our goodbyes. Alice hugged Rose in a rather awkward manner and quickly picked her last box and left the dorm.

I walked slowly to her and said my goodbyes too.

"_I guess this is it, uhh?" _I said standing in front of her playing with my hands

"_I guess it is" _She said looking at me "_Listen, I know you don't approve of my life right now, but it's who I am now and it's better like this. Us far form each other. You are too nice of a girl to be involved in my world, you deserve better" _Her voice was breaking and at that moment I saw a glimpse of the girl that had left 6 months ago. I could not sand it anymore and ran to her and hugged her. For a moment she was rigid but after a second or two she hugged me back just as fiercely

"_I don't know what happened Rose" _I whispered in her ear while I hugged her "_But don't you forget you are an amazing girl, and I am lucky to have met you and if you ever need something you know you can call me, I'll be there for you" _By this moment my eyes were went with tears and there was a lump in my throat.

We hugged for a minute or two more and when she stood again in front of me she was back to the Rosalie that hated herself and everyone else.

"_Goodbye Bella Swan" _She said turning away from me

"_No. Not goodbye, until next time" _I said walking out of the room.

—

I spent that winter back at home with my parents, I had not wanted to, but since the holidays were obligatory family tie there was very little I could do. I spent most of the time reading and watching movies and by the time January rolled around I was more than ready to go back to school.

Alice and I had spoken almost daily and had bonded over that time, and event ought I was happy I could not get the blonde sad girl I had left in that dorm room out of my mind.

* * *

_How was it? _

_I am sad to say I went trough something similar with one of my friends in college and sadly it's not an abnormal case. Let's hope the girls can work things out. What do you think happened to Rosalie?_


	18. Chapter 18

_So, I received a really mean comment last chapter about my grammar. I know I asked for reviews but please be respectful, English is my second language and it's normal for me to struggle with grammar. _

_I felt kind of guilty, so, here is another update for you._

_Hope you enjoy. Please be kind._

—

_Fucking Facebook. _

That was all I could think while I was sitting in front of my laptop in my new apartment in California.

When Alice and I came back from our respective homes we moved into the new apartment. With my architecture knowledge and Alice fashion sense we managed to create a really cozy space in our new home. I loved it. We had kept it simple since we didn't have all that much money to spend, but DIY projects on Pinterest had become our best weapon. It was now a month after the semester started and Alice was out on a date while I spent my Saturday afternoon losing my time in front of my laptop screen.

_Jessica Stanley and Edward A. Masen are now Facebook friends._

What the fuck? Seriously? They had talked like once for all I knew and know they were Facebook friends? I stalked Jessica's profile like a madwoman, and since I wasn't Edward's friend on Facebook her profile was my only source. I didn't find anything apart from that new friendship so I left the whole thing alone and went back to real life.

—

I had forgotten all about the Facebook incident but next week I saw an status update that made my skin crawl.

_Jessica Stanley is now living in Boston, Ma._

It was not the status per se that freaked me out but the comments below.

_Edward A. Masen likes this. He really likes it. _

There it was again, he had commented on her Facebook status. And this time I knew their relationship was not only limited to the social networks.

—

The rest of the semester was pure torture.

Okay, I might have exaggerated a little bit. School wise it was amazing. I had managed to score an internship for the summer, which meant I didn't have to go back to Washington. I was doing amazingly in my classes and my social life was doing good too. Alice and I had become closer and I had made a really good friend in my history class. Vanessa. She was a force of nature. But I loved her.

We had met in class while a stupid boy in Art History course was saying that art was vain and it didn't serve a propose but to inflate the egos and fill the pockets of the ones that made them.

Oh boy, after Vanessa answered to his comment I am sure he wished he had shut his mouth.

"_Jesus! Why are you even in this class if you think art is vain. I know there are really crappy things out there but that is not what art is about. Art talks about its time, you can learn a lot about a society by the art that was being done in their time. But that's the least important aspect of art. Art is supposed to make you feel and if thousands of people see a painting in a gallery and don't feel a thing but one does then I think art has served his propose, you can not just say that all art is bullshit, that just proves that you are ignorant and shouldn't be here"_

Everyone was stunned after that and I am mostly sure the boy shed a tear of two after Vanessa put him in his place. After that I bought her a coffee and we became friends.

—

Before I knew it it was summer again and I was working at a little architecture studio in downtown LA. I was not spending my summer in Washington but I had agreed to flight in to spend my birthday weekend with my family.

I was currently reading a book on the plane from LA to when the captain announced we would not be able to land in Washington because there was an electric storm and we had to lay over in Oregon for some time until the storm passed. Great. We would be stuck in the airport for god knows how long. And on my birthday no less.

We landed in Oregon at 1 pm and the crew told us we would be informed when we could fly to Washington. We had to remain in the airport of course.

After we got of the plane I decided to get something to eat. Airport food did not offered much, but I decided on a Chilli's salad and coke. After that I wandered around the place and ended up going into a library. Being that is was an airport establishment it didn't offer much more than bestsellers but it was better than dying of boredom, besides, the book I had brought with me was nearly over.

I was contemplating between purchasing the book about the teenagers that have cancer and fall in love or the one where the man ties up the girls until she falls in love with him. I was laughing at my own descriptions in my head when I heard someone calling my name.

_"What is so amusing about those books Bella?" _A voice asked. And there he was in all his glory. Edward Masen stood in front of me in an airport in Oregon. He was wearing dress pants and white button down shirt. He was as handsome as I remembered him. Even more. It had been more than a year since I last saw him and here he was.

"_Oh, nothing. I was just trying to decide which one would look less ridiculous in my hands while I waited for my flight" _I said trying to sound casual. There was nothing casual about this.

"_Let me save you the trouble" _He said taking the books from my hands "_They'll both make you look ridiculous"_

_"But I must occupy my time with something until my plane to Washington leaves"_

_"And I am guessing you would be opposed to occupy your time with a real human being instead of books"_

_—-_

It turns out I was not opposed at all. We ended up sitting down at some bar to get a few drinks. At first it was awkward as hell. I mean, last time we saw each other he had said some pretty strong things to me and I had said some right back.

It turned out he was flying to Washington too but couldn't because of the storm.

"_So, you just finished your sophomore year right?" _He said while playing with the neck of his beer bottle.

"_Yeah, I am officially a Junior " _I answered "_What about you? You graduated yet?" _

"_Yeah, you are now talking to an official economist with a literature degree to back me up in case I ever want to become an starving artist" _He said with a smile on his face.

_"Oh, starving artist" _I said "_What a catch" _

We continued with the light talk, and I ended up laughing more than I had in a long time. He had always been such a likable person. He was smart and funny.

"_So, you are just spending the weekend with your parents and then going back to LA?" _

_"Yeah, they wanted to celebrate together" _I said

"_Celebrate?" _He asked puzzled "_What's the occasion?"_

_"It's my birthday…" _I had barely said the words when he spit his beer on the table

"_It's your birthday and you didn't tell me?" _He asked sounding offended

"_Well, it's not like I go around announcing my birthday to everyone. People that matter know" _There it was. Low blow.

"_Oh" _He said looking guilty "_I am sorry, you are right. Happy Birthday then. I am sorry you had to spend it at the airport with me. Someone who doesn't really matter" _

_"Ouch. I guess I deserve that"_

_"No. Bella, I am sorry, that was out of line it's just that…"_

_"Can we not do this now? Please, as a birthday present?" _I said looking at him from under my lashes. I didn't want to cry on my birthday, and I was 100% sure this conversation would make me cry. I must have convinced him because he agreed.

"_As the birthday girl wishes" _

_—_

After our drinks he convinced me to order a piece of cake. According to him it was a sin no to eat cake on my birthday so I did. Turns out he didn't really wanted me to eat the cake. He wanted it for himself.

"_You could have ordered yours you know?" _I said licking the frosting from my lips "_I thought it was MY birthday cake"_

_"I am sorry, I just cannot help myself with cake. It's my Achilles heel" _

_"Good to know"_

_—_

It turned out the storm didn't pass as soon as we would have liked and we ended up having to stay the night in Oregon. The airlines provided us with reservations and told us to be at the airport next morning at 6 am sharp to be ready to leave.

"_What hotel at you staying at?" _Edward asked while we were headed to the Taxi section at the airport

"_The West Inn" _I said

"_Ahhh, me too" _He answered "_Do you want to share a cab?"_

_"Sure" _

The ride to the hotel was short and we discussed light themes. He talked me about his family and he even mentioned Jessica. It turned out he had moved to Boston and they had gotten in touch. We arrived to the hotel and instead of heading to our rooms we stopped at the hotel bar.

"_Yeah, she wrote to me when she moved to Boston and we met a couple of times" _He said like it was not a big deal. For me it was.

"_Oh really" _I said trying to sound unaffected "_I didn't know you were friends? And are you seeing each other or is it just casual?" _Okay I tried to sound unaffected, but I knew I was failing miserably.

"_What?" _He said laughing "_God, no! I mean she is nice and all, but we don't really connect you know? Besides, she is going out with one of my friends"_

_"Oh" _Yay. I was having a party inside my head.

"_I am not really seeing anyone right now" _He said "_I haven't been since we last saw each other. You were right. It was not fair to you or her"_

_"Edward…I said I didn't want to talk about it"_

_"It's no longer your birthday. And I need to tell you this. Please" _

_"Okay. I guess we need to do this" _I said

"_As I was saying. I need to apologize to you. It was not fair to tell you all those things back then. I was so confused because I had been having problems with my girlfriend and there you were so beautiful and smart and I was confused. And I know it is not an excuse but I am sorry if I hurt your feelings" _He said looking at me and kept silence. He was waiting for me to tell something.

"_Thank you" _I said "_For the apology, I mean. And you are right, it was not fair to either of us. But it's now in the past. And I want to thank you for respecting my wishes on keeping your space. I needed that"_

_"I understand" _Ha said "_I think it did us both good. But I would like to be friends now?" _He asked, sounding kind of scared.

"_I would really like that"_


	19. Chapter 19

Hi again! Here is an update. Its pretty short, but sweet. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

* * *

"_Can you make 12 copies of this folder and prepare the room for the presentation?" _ Mary asked as she stood in front of my desk.

"_Sure, I'll have it ready" _I answered standing up from my place and taking the folder into my hands.

I had been working for a month in Jone's Arch, a little architecture studio in downtown L.A. It was now the end of July and I was loving the place. After I had ran into Edward at Oregon we both flew home the next morning and said our goodbyes. We had not seen each other in Washington, but I could say we were now friends, and not only Facebook ones. The moment I landed I received his friend request and we had been communicating through that now. Every night there was a message on my inbox waiting for me. Needless to mention, this had become my favorite moment of the day. We talked about our days and we were getting to know each other, for real.

After the day was over I headed to the store to pick up some groceries. After I got home and made myself some dinner I lay in bed and picked up my laptop. I logged into my Facebook and sure enough there was a red number on my inbox icon. _Edward. _

**Edward: **_So, how was your day? How did that meeting go? I had a rough day at the office, I spent all day sitting in front of y desk going over some numbers :(_

I typed my answer rapidly

**Isabella: **_Hey! It went well, they copy sets were flawless and the coffee mugs were perfectly filled. If my career as an architect fails I might have a future as a professional meeting planner. Sorry to hear you had a rough day, but I am sure tomorrow will be better ;)_

Since he appeared online he began typing his answer.

**Edward: **_Hahahahaha meeting planner. I might have to hire you ;) _

Be still my heart.

**Edward: **_But being serious, you just have to be patient. The first job is always like that. You make copies and fill mugs. Just keep your eyes open and learn everything you can. And about my day at the office I am not so sure my days will improve until we finish with this client. It's just a big ass mess. But on happier notes an article of mine was published in a local magazine, I guess the literature degree is paying off uh?_

**Isabella: **_wow! Congrats! I am glad one of us is thriving in their careers. I know I have to be patient but I just want to do something architecture related. I guess I'll have to wait until I have to go back to school for that._

Our conversations went along those lines most of the time. Some other occasions we would talk about books or movies we had seen. Time passed and I went back to school full time, I enjoyed time with my friends and my classes, but the highlights of my days were my messaged with Edward.

**Isabella: **_So, I have big news to share. Life changing ones._

**Edward: **_You have finally decided to move to China and join the panda saving crusades?_

**Isabella: **_Oh my god! It was just one dream I had! I'll regret telling you about my young self illusion for the rest of my existence :(_

**Edward: **_Sorry, sorry. But, what are the news? I am hoping you are not moving to China, with all that censured internet how would we talk? :(_

**Isabella: **_Luckily for you I am not moving to Asia anytime soon. But about the life changing news its about a book I read. I think it changed my life Edward. Have you ever encountered something so beautiful and honest you just wanted to cry? I think I cried from page one until the end. It was amazing and I can honestly say my life will never be the same. I kind of want to have a memory loss problem so I could read it for the first time again._

Typing…Typing…Typing…

**Edward: **_Yes. I have seen beautiful things that make me feel things I had never felt before. So beautiful I wanted to be consumed by it._

**Isabella: **_Wow. That is one intense feeling, but I get have to tell me about that book. Which one was it?_

**Edward: **_I was not talking about a book._

And even tough I enjoyed all of my conversations with Edward my favorite messages were the ones he wrote to my in the early hours of the morning. He would sometimes send me quotes from books, song lyrics, poem extracts or sometimes just his thoughts. I never answered to those ones, and next day our conversations would continued as if those lines were not in our conversation history or engraved in my mind.

_"She had not really a sensitive soul, but to put it in exact terms, was possessed by an uncontrollable feeling of mind" _

_"Well, I always know what I want. And when you know what you want-you go toward it. Sometimes you go very fast, and sometimes only an inch a year. Perhaps you feel happier when you go fast. I don't know. I've forgotten the difference long ago, because it really doesn't matter, so long as you move." _

_"We'll meet again. We'll meet when years have passed, and years make such a difference, don't they?" _

_"From now on, my head won't look down to a magazine_

_Rather, it will contemplate the night_

_And its bright stars, _

_And so, no more clichés."_

_You once told me you wish you could erase your memory and read your favorite book again. At that time I wished I could erase our history and start again, do it right this time. But I just realized I would not change a thing. Because it would no longer be ours._

I would read those messages over and over, going crazy over them. What was he trying to tell me? Did he feel like I did? I would still have to wait for some more time to find out.

* * *

_That is it. The first quote is from my favorite book ever. I did change my life. **Ocean Sea** by Alessandro Baricco. The next two are quotes from **We The Living** (other favorite of mine) by Ayn Rand. The poem is an extract from **No More Clichés** from Octavio Paz and the last one is an Edward original._

_Thank You for reading. _


	20. Chapter 20

**_So, Chapter 20 is here I am really enjoying this journey with all of you. Thank you :)_**

* * *

The semester was once over again. I was done with half of my junior year, I had really enjoyed the semester but I was tired from my final projects and craving the comfort of going home and having no responsibilities for the holidays. I had talked with my dad last week and he had bought me my plane tickets. I wanted to see my parents, I guess I had missed them during the summer I had spent here in L.A.

Edward and I had become closer and our Facebook interactions became telephone calls. We had yet to see each other, though. I had been hoping to see him during the holidays in Washington but it turned out he was staying in Boston and his parents were flying to see him so he would not spend the holidays alone.

"_I wish I could go to Washington" _He said to me on the phone one night. It was the night before I was supposed to leave for Washington and I was packing my things "_I wanted to see you"_

_"I wanted to see you too, but we can keep our weekly calls" _I said folding my clothes, with my phone pressed between my shoulder and ear "_We'll see each other soon enough" _

_"I certainly hope so"_

_—_

Next morning I took the first flight from L.A to Washington and slept most of the flight. I was woken up by the flight attendant gently shaking my shoulder and informing me that we had landed and I could pick my luggage in band number 5.

When I had all my belongings with me I headed to the exit and sure enough my dad was already waiting for me. As soon as I saw him I knew something was off. He was fidgeting with his hands and couldn't stand still. Was he nervous?

"_Hi dad" _I said hugging him

"_Hi Isabella" _He said hugging me tight and longer than usual "_I am glad you are home" _

"_I am happy to be here too, but can we go?" _As much as I was enjoying hugging him I was freezing in the Washington winter "_I am not properly dressed for this climate"_

"_Sure. Let's go, your mom in waiting for us at home"_

We spent the drive home in silence, but there was a strange tension in the air. My dad kept glancing my way and every time I mad eye contact he looked away. Finally we arrived home and went inside. My mom was in the kitchen, and…was she cooking? That was a first.

_"Hi sweetie" _She said coming my way and hugging me "_I am so happy you are home" _She whispered in my ear while she was still holding me tight between her arms "_I made you breakfast. Sit. Sit" _She ordered me and I sat down in one of the stools of the kitchen island.

Breakfast was an awkward affair. I sat eating alone in the middle of the kitchen while both of my parents kept exchanging suspicious looks between them and they seemed more uncomfortable by the moment. I couldn't take it anymore.

"_Okay" _I said pushing my plate away from me "_What is going on here?" _I turned to look at them.

A minute passed and none said a thing.

"_So?" _I said "_Is one of you going to tell me what is going on with you?"_

_"I got a job in New York" _My dad said rapidly

"_Oh" _I said surprised "_That is great dad" _I said and stood up to hug him "_I guess we are finally leaving Washington uh? I must say that spending my vacations in New York with both of you instead of here sounds a lot nicer" _I tried to sound positive. Having my parents in New York would be amazing but I had no doubt I would miss all the _memories_ I had in Washington.

"_I am going alone" _My father suddenly said

"_What?" _I was confused "_Why do you mean you are going alone? Is this not a permanent thing?" _I said now turning to my mom, looking for answers "_Why are you not going mom? I m sure you could find something to do there"_

_"It is a permanent thing sweetie" _My mom said "_But I am staying" _Suddenly her eyes began to water and in no time she was crying. I was confused, what was going on?

"_Don't cry Rene" _My dad said comforting her and looking as sad and miserable as my mom. Suddenly it made sense. He was leaving my mom. He was leaving us.

"_Are you leaving us dad?" _I said looking at him. My eyes had begun to sting and there was a lump in my throat _"Are you living us for someone else?"_

"_No, sweetie, no" _He said now rushing to my side

"_Don't touch me" _I said suddenly angry at him. How dare he abandon my mom after all this years? How dare he abandon me?

"_Sweetie" _My mom said "_Don't be mad at him. This was a consensual decision. We have not been happy for so long. It is time, we are getting a divorce, but that does not mean you are going to lose us" _She said walking towards me. By this time I could barely stand so I took a seat again.

"_Divorce?" _I asked. The word sounded wrong. It felt foreign in my lips. Growing up I had always been proud that my parents were still happy. Surrounded by friends with divorced parents having both of my parents still with me made me feel special, it still did until a moment ago "_But you are happy together. You are in love. You are right?"_

_"We have not been for a long tis time for us to look for happiness again. Maybe by ourselves this time" _My mom said sitting down next to me and taking my hands between hers.

"_I loved your mother very much, I still do, but in a different way" _My father said rubbing my back "_But we are not right for each other anymore. It is time we take our separate ways, and this job offer in New York will give us that. But you have to know that you are not losing either of us Isabella. You still have both of your parents who love you very much with you" _

I was hearing what they said, but I was not understanding it. I couldn't stay here any longer. I needed space, I needed air, I needed time.

"_I am going out" _I said suddenly standing from the island stool "_I need some air" _I walked to the door and took my cellphone, wallet and my dad's car keys. I rushed inside the car. As I was closing the car door I could hear my mom calling my name, but I couldn't stay, not now. I turned the ignition key and drove away from the house, away from my parents.

I drove for 15 minutes straight, not knowing were I was going. I concentrated on my surroundings. On the cars passing by, the traffic lights, the buildings, the people on the streets, on anything but on my parents. When I couldn't hold it any longer the tears began to fall. Soon enough I was a mess and could barely see, I stopped the car and parked on the side on the road with the flasher lights on. I sat there alone inside the car crying like a baby.

I cried because I was confused. When had all this happened? Since when were they unhappy? How come I hadn't noticed? Why couldn't they try to make it work? Had they tried? Had they tried hard enough?

I cried because I was angry. I was angry at them for not trying hard enough. I was angry at myself for not noticing. I was angry for being selfish. I was angry for wasting so much time I could have spend with both of them. I was angry at them for making it seem so easy. How could they throw everything away so easily?

I cried because I was sad. I was sad because nothing would be the same. I no longer had the same family that I thought I had yesterday. I was sad for them too. This could no be easy for them. I was sad for all the things that I would no longer experience. No more family holidays, no family trips, no seeing them grow old together

I cried because they made me doubt. Did I really know my parents at all? They had me believe a lie for god knows how long. They made me doubt about them. They made me doubt about love itself, did it last? Or was it temporary? Did eternal love exist?

And most of all I cried because I felt alone. Logically I knew I had my friends and both of my parents were still there, but at that moment I felt as if I was all alone.

I don't know how long I sat there alone crying on the side of the road, I was in my own world inside my head when suddenly a tap on the window startled me. On the other side of the door was a young man on a coat and he was rubbing his hands tying to warm them. I rolled the window down.

"_Excuse me" _He said looking at me form outside. He must be really tall since he had to crouch down to talk to me trough the window. He had a pale complexion, freckles on his nose, a straight nose and kind honey eyes. "_Are you all right? Are you having trouble with your car?"_

_"I am all right" _I answered, my voice rough from all the crying I had been doing "_I just needed a moment for myself" _

_"No offense, but you don't look alright" _He said concerned "_Do you need me to call someone to pick you up? A friend? Boyfriend? Family?" _As soon as he said family the waterfall began again.

"_I…I am so, sorry" _I said between sobs "_I am…I am just having a…a difficult day" _I must have looked like a mess, no wonder he thought I needed help.

"_Here" _He said handing me a handkerchief. Really? Did men still carry those? "_Are you sure you are all right?" _

"_Yes, I just need to calm down and I will drive home" _I said trying to smile at him

"_It don't feel right leaving yo here" _He said looking really concerned "_But if you insist you are okay I guess I am going" _He said smiling down at me "_Goodbye. I hope your day gets better" _He said walking to his car that I could see he had parked behind me. I was watching him trough the side mirror when he suddenly turned back and walked to my window again.

"_Listen, I know this might be totally creepy but I would feel infinitely better if you let me know you arrived home okay" _He then reached for something inside his pocket and handed it to me. It was his info card "_Just let me know you arrived home all right. There is a snow storm coming and I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you or anyone and I could have help. And if you need anything don't hesitate to call"_

_"Why are you being so nice to me?" _I asked curiously

"_Because once a stranger's kindness saved my life" _He then turned away and got into his sleek black car and drove away.

Half an hour later I was parking into the driveway at home. I had barely gotten out of the car when my mom came running to my side and hugged me.

"_We were so worried" _She said "_Where were you? There is a storm coming and we were worried you would be stuck in it all alone"_

_"Don't worry" _I said walking away from her embrace and heading inside "_I was just going for a drive, and know if you excuse me I am going to take a nap, I am exhausted" _I didn't wait for her answer and headed to my room. As soon as I was inside I jumped onto my bed and reached for my cellphone. There was someone I needed to call.

* * *

**So? How was it? Who do you think the stranger is? Who is she going to call?**

**See you next week. **


	21. Chapter 21

Heeey! I am back. Sorry I've been absent, but I've been really sick. I am feeling a little bit better and writing makes me feel better. So, here it is.

* * *

"_Hey. It's me" _I said as if I was talking to him, when in reality I was just talking to the recorder. He hadn't picked up his phone "_I guess you are busy…" _My voice began to break by this point "_I am just having a really shitty day, and I wanted to talk to someone. Anyone. No…not anyone, I wanted to talk to you" _Awkward pause "_My parents are getting a divorce. I didn't see that one coming. I…I…I don't know how to feel about it. It makes me sad I guess. I thought they loved each other. And I want to cry, but I don't know if I have the right to, you know? I am not the one losing my life partner. I guess I am being a little bit dramatic. Kids of all ages have divorced parents and they do fine, right? I just kind of feel like, like…" _Beep. Beep. My time had run out. This recordings had a time limit I guess. Great. Not even the recorder machine want to talk to me. Pathetic.

I was currently sprawled on the recliner on my room, clinging to my cellphone. I began moving when I felt something falling of my pocket. It was the card. The one the man on the road had given me. I guess I must let him know I had arrived safely, he had been so sweet after all. I read his info and began typing on my phone. Riley Biers, it read in simple letters. Below there was an office phone and a cellphone.

**_Hi. This is Bella. The crazy crying girl from the road. Just to let you know I arrived home safely and to thank you for your kindness today. I really appreciate it. - B_**

I just had to wait a couple of minutes before my phone vibrated announcing an incoming text message, from Riley.

**_Hello Bella. I am glad you made it home okay, and you are not a crazy lady, you were just having a bad day. Hope your day gets better and you enjoy your holidays. Riley_**

I decided to leave it there and put my phone away. I began thinking of Edward instead, I was thinking about what he could be doing and suddenly I was asleep.

—

_"Sweetie, sweetie" _My mom was shaking my shoulder gently, waking me up "_Dinner is ready if you are ready to eat. You have not had anything since breakfast"_

_"Okay" _I said sitting up "_I'll be downstairs in a minute" _She stood up and went downstairs. I was not in the mood to sit with her to eat, I was kind of hoping to avoid both of them, at least for today, but with the snow storm outside there was nowhere to go. I guess I could not run away from the situation. No time like the present.

I walked downstairs and they were both sitting at the table in front of what seemed like pasta with shrimps. My dad's favorite.

"_Hey" _I said sitting in front of my mom

"_Are you feeling better?" _My dad asked

"_Yeah, I guess" _I said playing with the food in front of me "_I guess you just caught me by surprise" _I said looking up at them "_I was being dramatic"_

_"Don't worry about it sweetie" _There was my mom, pretending everything was okay.

We ate in silence and I could barely stand it. As soon as I finished my food I stood up and went to my room. I checked my phone. No missed calls. No messages. I guess Edward had not heard my message yet. I didn't want to think, so I turned my TV on and saw whatever was on. It was a movie about some kids that had to stay with their grandparents who they barely knew. I guess it was supposed to be funny, but I barely smiled watching it. When it was over I decided to read but I could not concentrate. After half an hour of reading the same page I decided it was a lost cause and wandered into the kitchen for a snack. On my way there I passed my dad study and looked inside. He was looking at a picture of my seventh birthday. It was the three of us, and I had the biggest smile on my face.

"_I remember you were so happy that day" _He said, I guess he must have heard me.

"_I was" _I said walking inside and sitting in one of the chairs in front of his desk "_I had an amazing day, and I got the little Barbie oven I had been asking for. And a bunch of other things"_

_"You were always playing with that thing. Baking fake things for your dolls. Until you got sick one day from eating something you cooked there" _He said putting the picture down and turning to look at me

"_You don't remember, do you?"_

_"I don't remember what?" _He asked with a confused look on his face

"_When I opened the oven there was an instruction. You had to put a little light bulb inside, the normal kind. I asked you to do it, and you told me next day you would. That you were busy. The next day I received the same answer, and by the second week I kind of figured I could do without it. I just mixed the flour and pretended it was baked. I ate the cake batter and got sick because it was not cooked" _

_"I am sorry" _He said, and I think we both knew he was not just talking about the light bulb incident "_I was just trying to give you everything you wished for"_

_"I know" _I said "_But sometimes all I wanted was time. Not money. I am not saying you were a bad parent. You were a great dad, and I never doubted your love for me. But I just wished you had both spent more time at home"_

_"I wish I hand known that before" _He said playing with his hands "_Maybe if I had spent more time at home we wouldn't be in the situation we are now"_

_"Maybe" _I whispered

"_I cannot change what's in the past" _He said standing and walking around his desk "_But I want you to know I will always love you. I have and always will. If you need anything at anytime you pick up the phone and I'll be there" _He was now kneeling at my side "_Even if you just want to talk, I'll pick up the phone. I might not have been present in your life as much as you needed me to before, but I am decided to change that" _

_"I just don't get it" _I said looking at him "_I thought you loved her"_

_"I did. I do. But not the kind of love we both deserve. I love her because she is my friend, and because she gave me you. But we are no longer right for each other"_

_"Were you ever?" _I asked him "_Right for each other, I mean"_

_"I don't know. But I don't regret it, you are in my life because of it, but I think our time together is over. We have given each other what we were supposed to, it's time we go our own way"_

_"Were you ever in love?"_

_"I guess we were" _He answered

"_You guess" _I whispered, repeating his words "_How do you know? I don't want to guess for the rest of my life" _I said looking at him "_I don't want to spend the 20 years of my life next to someone and then realize he was not the one for me"_

_"I guess everybody wonders that" _He said "_I cannot give you an answer, I guess you just know. But I want you to know that it does exists"_

_"What does?" _I asked

"_Love. The kind that lasts forever" _He answered my question

_"How do you know?"_

_"I just have to look at you and I know. This love I feel for you is not going anywhere" _

* * *

**_Happy to be back. I loved what Charlie said to Isabella, how about you?_**


	22. Chapter 22

_**Short update here. **_

* * *

It was christmas eve and the house was decorated according to the season. There were lights everywhere and there was a gigantic tree in the middle of the house. There was people in and out since tonight my parents were trowing a party for their friends and their families. Their last christmas bash as a couple. Of course no now knew that but us.

After the talk I had with my dad I felt better. I was still sad about the whole divorce thing, but I had accepted and I wished better things would come from this situation. And even tough I was feeling better about my parents situation I was sad about other thing all together. It had been five days since I had left the message for Edward in his phone and he had not answered. Not even a message. I was beginning to worry. Thankfully, I had a lot of things to do to avoid thinking about him today. I had been helping my mom decorate all day long and I was currently getting ready. Everyone would be arriving in no time, and even tough it was mostly adults, some of my high school friends would be here with their parents. Like Angela and Jessica. Half an hour later people had arrived and in no time the party was in full swing. Alcohol was flowing and everyone was having a good time.

I was talking with Angela and Jessica in the kitchen

"_Oh my god Bella" _Jessica was saying "_He is like the hottest" _She was currently describing her boyfriend "_I met him trough Edward actually. Do you still have a thing for him?"_

_"I…we are friends" _I answered, unconsciously checking my phone. Still nothing

"_Well, he is single as far as I know" _She said "_Isn't he around here?"_

_"No. He is in Chicago with his family. He couldn't make it" _I answered

"_What a shame" _Angela said "_I always thought you would end up together" _

"_I don't think he feels that way" _I answered sadly

"_Are you sure about that?" _Jessica said with a smile in her face and looking at something behind me.

I turned around and could not believe my eyes. There he was, standing in my house looking around for something, or someone and when his eyes landed on mine it seemed like he found what he was looking for. And so did I.

—

_"What are you doing here" _I said as soon as I stood in front of him. I had my hands on his arms, his shoulders, touching him as if he was a vision and I could not believe what was standing in front of me. He looked tired, his clothes were wrinkled and had some stubble covering his face. But even like that he was a vision for sore eyes.

"_I received your message" _He said touching my face "_And I tried to get into a plane, but everything was sold out for the holidays and I just wanted so bad to be here for you" _He said wrapping his arms around me "_I drove all the way here" _He whispered against my ear, and even tough he could not see my face, I am sure he could feel my smile against his chest.

"_Thank you" _I said while wrapping my arms around his waist and hoping he could feel trough my hug all I wanted to say to him

—

_"You must be exhausted" _I said while sitting next to him in the kitchen counter while he devoured some of the food that I managed to snatch from the trays that were being served to the guests outside. Angela and Jessica had left the kitchen after both of them had said their hellos to Edward. And I was enjoying our time alone immensely "_What about your family? Are they here too?"_

_"No" _He said after taking a drink from a beer I had found on the back of the fridge "_They are in Chicago. I guess we will spend the holidays apart after all" _He said smiling at me like it was nothing. His left hand was on top of mine, it had not left my skin since he had arrived, and with his other hand he continued eating.

"_Edward!" _I said horrified "_You left your family alone because I called you? I feel so guilty, your mom must hate me!"_

_"Hey, hey, hey" _He said turning to look at me and taking both of my hands between both of his "_I am an adult, okay? I came because I wanted to. Because I wanted to be with you in this hard times. You sounded so sad in that message. At first I was so scared, I thought something had happened to you and I tried calling you, but the stupid snowstorm would not let me communicate with you and then I was on the road and I had left my phone on Chicago. I am sorry I didin't call. I am not even sure you wanted me to come"_

_"I always want to see you" _I and minted blushing "_And I am glad you came"_

We didn't have any alone time the rest of the night. My mom found us and made us join the party. We joined the guest and since Edward knew a lot of the people we spent the rest of the night in small conversation with people we both knew. But he never left my side, and he was always touching me. He held my hand, or had his hands on the small of my back, or on my shoulders. Sometimes he would lean down and kiss the top of my head and I swear I felt his hands playing with the fabric of my dress.

By midnight everyone hand left and we went to bed because in the morning we would exchange gifts. Since Edward's parents were not at home he stayed with us in the guest bedroom. My dad was showing him were everything was and giving him some blankets while my mom was helping me settle in.

"_So…" _She said while she picked my dress to take it to the dry cleaners on Monday "_I was surprised to see the Masen boy since his parents are in Chicago" _

_"I guess he wanted to spend the holidays here" _I said innocently

"_Here my ass. If you were in China I would not be surprised if he were there. Is he your boyfriend sweetie? You can tell me"_

_"No, mom. We are just friends" _I answered honestly

"_Mmmm. Friends don't travel across country for other friends. And they certainly don't look at friends the way he looks at you" _

_"You are hallucinating mom"_

_—_

It was two in the morning when I suddenly woke up. What the hell? Why was I up? And they I saw a dark figure standing by my door.

"_Hey. Are you awake?" _He whispered

"_Yes" _I answered from my bed

_"I just could not sleep" _He said, with a trembling voice. Was he crying? And then I realized he was not crying. He was freezing.

"_Jesus Christ Edward" _I said lifting up my covers "_Come here before you freeze"_

As soon as I said the words he rushed to my side and got under the covers. Sure enough he was freezing. I got my arms around him and in no time he stopped shaking.

"_Sorry I woke you up" _He said. He was so near that his breath hit my face and I could see the scar he had just below his right eyebrow. We had never been this close before, and my body felt like it was on fire.

"_I am not" _I said smiling at him. We were both on our sides and our noses were almost touching. My arms were no longer around him, but between us in front of me. Our legs were intertwined, and even tough we were both wearing pants it felt like heaven to me "_Thank you for coming. I don't think anyone has ever done something like that for me ever" _

_"I told you, you don't have to thank me anymore" _He said lifting his hand and touching my nose gently "_I wanted to be here with you. Do you want to talk about it?"_

_"I was really sad at first. And confused" _I said whispering. I knew my parents would not hear if I spoke in a normal volume, but the moment felt so intimate that it didn't felt right to talk loudly "_I had always pictured them growing old together. That I would bring my kids to this house to visit their grandparents and we would be one big happy family"_

_"You can still have one big happy family with your parents divorced" _He said

"_I know. It just won't be how I pictured it"_

_"And you were sad about that? Life never turns out like we plan it" _He said looking at me and smiling sadly

"_I know. That was not all" _I said feeling a lump in my throat "_It's just that they were always my love role model, you know? When they told me they were separating for a moment I thought love forever was not real, and it made me sad. I guess I am a hopeless romantic after all" _

_"You said you thought love was not real" _He said touching my lips with his fingers "_But believe me, I've seen it. Look at my parents, they are still so in love with each other. They make me sick sometimes" _He said laughing at something he remembered no doubt

"_I now" _I said "_You just have to find the right person to find forever with" _

_"It can't be that hard. Can it?"_

* * *

**_What do you think? Reviews make me feel loved_**


	23. Chapter 23

_**Update again. Yay!**_

* * *

"_So, Edward" _My mom said while we were having breakfast the next morning in the kitchen. We were all still in our pijamas and had already exchanged gifts "_Did you sleep well last night? It's been so long since we've had a guest in our house"_

_"Yes, I slept like a baby Mrs, Swan" _He said smiling at her "_Thank you for your hospitality" _He then looked at me and gave a secret smile, no doubt remembering our morning together

—

I was comfortable, oh so comfortable. I never wanted to join the living again. I was a cocoon of comfort, but I felt myself slowly waking up and being aware of my surroundings. I could smell something delicious and new around me. It smelt like soap and something else. What was that? And then I felt _him _move behind me, his arms wrapping tightly around my body.

_"Good morning" _He whispered in my ear "_How did you sleep?"_

_"Good morning" _I said turning around to look into his eyes. His eyes were bright and he was smiling down at me "_I think that was the best sleep I've gotten in ages"_

_"Me too" _He said, his nose almost touching mine. We've been this close last night, but with the light of the morning I could see him like never before. His long lashes, his piercing green eyes that reminded me of the forest. His slightly crooked nose. His cheeks were high and his jaw sharp, covered by morning scruff. He had never looked better, and I briefly wondered what he was seeing in my face, because what I was seeing in his gave me hope of finally moving forward in our relationship.

"_You look so pretty like this" _He said playing with a strand of my hair

"_Like what?"_

_"Like this. First thing in the morning. So raw, so pure, so natural. No walls around you yet protecting you from the outside world" _He explained "_I've always thought that just after waking up people are their truer selves. They hadn't had time to put on the mask yet"_

_"That is a beautiful thought" _I whispered "_And I can see what you mean. I can see it in your face right now"_

_"I am glad I came" _

"_Me too. I needed a friend"_

_"I don't think I can be your friend any longer Bella" _He whispered. His lips almost touching mine

Here it was. The moment I've been waiting for years. He was going to kiss me. I knew it. This was it. I could feel his lips grazing mine. His breath against my face. I was ready. I had been for some time now.

"_Isabella!" _sounded the voice of my mother calling my name from the hall "_Wake up dear, she said knocking on my door. I need your help with breakfast"_

By the time my mother was turning the knob of the door Edward had already jump of the bed and was hiding inside my dressing room behind some of my coats. If I wasn't so nervous about the whole thing myself I would be laughing at the absurdity of the situation. I was an adult for god sake! But I guess we weren't ready to confront my parents if we didn't know ourselves what was between us. For know we would remain quiet.

"_Are you awake sweetie?" _My mom said while sitting in my bed. I was pretending to be asleep, while my heart was actually beating like crazy inside my chest.

"_I am now" _I said faking a sleepy tone "_I'll be down to help you. Just let me freshen up" _I smiled up at her

"_Okay. I'll be waiting downstairs. We'll let Edward and your father rest for now"_

_"Okay"_

_—_

After that Edward went back to his room and slept some more. After breakfast was done my mom went upstairs to get my dad and Edward and after exchanging gifts we enjoyed breakfast.

"_So, we are going to the Stanley's house tonight" _My father announced "_You are both invited to join us" _

_"I think we are going to say here" _There was no way I would let more time pass. Edward and I needed to finish the conversation we were having this morning "_I am sure Edward is tired from all the driving he did"_

_"We can go if.." _Edward started to say, but I kicked his leg under the table. I wanted to have some alone time, and my parents going out was a perfect opportunity "_Yes, yes, I would like to rest some more. But thank you for the invitation. And give the Stanley's my greetings"_

_"We will dear" _My mom said looking at us with a suspicious look on her face. She knew something was up.

—

_"I hate to spoil the moment. But I need to check my mail and go online to buy my plane ticket back home" _Edward said while we were out in the porch drinking hot cocoa wrapped in blankets.

"_I guess you can't avoid reality forever, uh?" _I answered sadly "_Come on. You can use my laptop" _I said standing up and extending my hand to him.

We went inside and went upstairs to my room. I jumped on the bed and I signaled my desk

"_There it is" _I said. He sat on my desk chair and turned it on

"_What is your password?" _He asked

_Fuck. _I hadn't thought about that.

"_prin…_"

"_What?" _He asked looking at me with a smile on his face

"_princessm4e" _I said my face burning

"_Do I even want to know why your face is the color of a tomato right know?" _He said laughing

"_You probably don't" _I said "_And even if you did I won't tell you" _Because my password stood for Princess Masen for ever. I know. childish, but that was the same password I've kept for all my things since I've been a girl. The was no way he was going to know that.

"_Well, let's see what it's waiting for me shall we?" _He said while typing dramatically "_Well, apart from your porn collection there is nothing interesting in here" _He said joking "_There are messages from my mother wishing me a merry christmas with a photo of my dad attached" _He said with a smile in his voice "_There is a message from my boss saying I am expected at the office January the second and trash, trash, holiday coupons, holiday cards, and…" _He stopped and began reading.

"_What is it?" _I asked from the bed "_Are you in trouble for fleeing town so suddenly?" _I asked joking

"_Not in trouble" _He answered seriously "_It's a job offer" _He said turning to look at me.

"_What?!" _I sat rapidly getting dizzy "_What job? That's good, no?" _

_"Yes" _He said smiling. But there was something else in his eyes. Was he sad?

"_What's the job?" _I asked again, afraid of what he might answer

"_It's the job in a magazine. As a permanent columnist. I applied six months ago, but I didn't think they would choose me. There were hundreds of applicants. I really wanted to get it"_

_"Then why do you sound so sad? You've always wanted to write. This is the chance you've been waiting for" _It made no sense. It sounded like a good job

"_The job is as a correspondent for one year…in Germany"_

_Oh Fuck. _

* * *

_**Sorry if I got your hopes up. But I did warn you that this was going to be a slow boil.**_

_**Hope you are not to mad. See you until next time!**_


	24. Chapter 24

**_Slightly longer review. I have lots of time to write now that I am feeling better, but still have to rest in bed. Lucky you_**

* * *

"_We will meet again next week, then" _The professor said from the front of the room "_I hope to see you all with something new to show the group. Good weekend"_

The class was over. Everyone picked up their things and in no time the classroom was empty, but I sat still in my desk. Watching everyone walk by. I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to go to my apartment and sit to think. To think about _him. _We had been so close. _So close. _So close to getting together. If it hadn't been for that stupid email. I knew he wanted to kiss me that christmas morning, and if things had gone differently we probably would be together by now. We both wanted to. But things had changed too soon too quickly.

—

_"So?" _I whispered from the spot on my bed. I was sitting with my legs crossed and wrapped in blankets.

"_I…I don't know" _He said playing with his hands "_This changes everything"_

_"When are you going?" _I asked. Because even tough he had barely said a sentence I knew he had to go. We both knew. He could not let this opportunity pass. It was his dream.

"_I have to be there by June the first, for a two week introduction. And then, I'll be working closely with the US embassy there. I'll be writing about the relationship between german government and the United States" _He explained "_I'll be traveling around the country and writing about what I see. The people, the culture and well, the government most of all"_

_"Sounds like something you'll enjoy" _I said. I tried to sound happy for him. It was his opportunity to do what he liked. Travel, write, learn. And believe me, I was trying to be happy for him. But I was sad for me. For _us. _I knew where we were headed. But not anymore.

"_I will. I am sure" _

_"Then, why don't you sound happy?" _I asked. I wanted to know if it was because of the same reasons I was

"_Don't you know?" _He answered standing up from his chair and sitting down next to me "_We'll be living in different countries, and I'll be really busy. And, I wanted to…so bad" _He said taking my face between his hands

"_I wanted to too" _And even if we hadn't named the thing we both wanted to, we knew what me were talking about. We wanted _us. _"_But you have to go" _

"_I have to" _

_—_

I had finally picked up my things from my desk and was walking through campus with a million things between my hands. Papers, materials handbooks. I was trying not to fall flat on my face when I suddenly collied into something, or someone to be more precise.

"_Shit" _I said landing flat on my ass and papers flying everywhere

"_I am so sorry Miss" _A voice said from above me. I looked up and saw an only familiar pair of honey eyes and a freckle covered nose

"_You!" _I said pointing my index finger at him and sounding like a crazy lady no doubt

"_Emmm. I guess I am indeed myself" _Riley said while pushing his glasses up his nose

"_It's me!" _I said standing up. Or at least trying to

"_Well. It seems like everything is in order then" _He said extending his hand to me to help me up "_You are you and I am myself"_

_"No" _I said laughing "_It's me, Bella Swan. The girl you helped in Washington. You know? The crazy girl that was crying on the side of the road"_

_"Oh sure!" _He said, recognition in his eyes "_I just didn't recognize you without the tears and the snow on the road"_

_"Ah…"_

_"Sorry" _He said "_That was rude of me"_

_"No, that's okay. It's true anyway" _I smiled up at him. Jesus, he was really tall. He was taller by two heads, at least.

"_I see you are feeling better" _He said while starting to pick up my things that had landed all around us

"_I am" _Not really

"_Well. I am glad you are" _Ha said handing me my things "_And I think we have to celebrate"_

_"Celebrate what?"_

_"That you are no longer crying in the snow in Washington" _He said with a smile on his face

—

And that is how I found myself having lunch with one Riley Biers. It turned out he was a professor at UCLA. He was 30 and teaching at the philosophy department. He had graduated from Brown with a degree in philosophy and literature, and decided to move to the west coast for a change of scenery. He was currently teaching and he wrote for some locals magazine while he worked in his book

"_And what is this book about? If I might ask" _I asked after taking a sip from my drink

"_Yes, you can" _He said "_It's a novel that tells the story of the hosts of a hotel in the seaside. Each of them very different. There is not much written yet, I am still working on the characters" _

_"Well, it sounds interesting" _I said "_And I can't wait to read it someday"_

_"I still have a long way to go" _

_"You'll get there. I am sure" _

_—_

After my lunch with Riley we said our goodbyes and I headed home. I was setting my things down when Alice appeared, coming out of the kitchen with two glasses of wine, one in each hand and a smile in her face. She had been a complete angel. She had been trying to lift my spirits after the whole Edward situation.

"_So my little friend" _She said sitting down in the couch in the living room and patting the spot next to her "_Want to come here and tell me why you have that smile on your face?"_

_"I am not smiling" _I said suddenly getting a serious face

"_Well, you were a minute ago. How come?"_

_"I just had a good morning. That's all" _I said

"_No, no, no" _She said standing up and trowing her hands around "_You've been having a crappy month and have been drowning in self-pity and suddenly you walk here smiling and happier than you have been since you came back from the holidays, and you pretend to tell me it's nothing. No missy, I deserve to know"_

_"Okay, okay" _I said walking to the couch and sitting next to her. I was going to tell her about my morning, but I might swell torture her for a little bit. I was taking my time. Taking my shoes off and taking a sip of my glass of wine. I was not rushing.

"_Jesus Christ!" _Alice said "_We'll be in a wheelchair by the time you start talking"_

_"Okay, okay" _I said laughing "_I had lunch with a friend. And surprisingly I had a great time"_

_"Female friend or male?"_

_"Does it matter?" _

_"Of course it does!" _When said like it was the most obvious thing in the world "_If it's a girl I'll be jealous since I have not been able to make you smile and suddenly she comes and you are smiling like it's christmas morning. But, if it's a boy I am excited. So?"_

_"Well, it is a boy. Well, not a boy, a man"_

_"Ahhhhhh!" _Alice screamed like a teenage girl in a Justin Bieber's concert

"_Calm down Alice"_

_"Don't you tell me to calm down Isabella Swan" _She said turning to look at me and shaking my shoulders "_Tell me everything, and don't leave anything out!"_

_"Well, I met him back in Washington…"_

_—_

_"Oh my" _Alice said with a dreamy smile in her face "_He sounds adorable" _

"_He kind of is" _I said feeling giddy "_He was so smart but shy, and he couldn't stop playing with his glasses" _

"_I have a good feeling about him"_

_"We are just friends Alice, and we will remain that way"_

_"Mmmm, we'll see"_

_—_

February went on without much incident. Lunches with Riley became a weekly thing and then twice a week and sometimes the weekend. Alice kept telling me we would not remain friends much longer, and that he was dying for me, and under different situations I would be excited about the whole thing. I mean, what was there not to be excited about. A handsome adorable man wanted to hang out with me and have a good time. But there was still something stopping me from taking the next step. _Edward._

After we had said our goodbyes after New Year we hadn't talked much. That night he basically told me that for now we were to remain friends. But as days went by it became harder for me. I wanted to know about his day but I wanted to _be _there by his side. Not hear about it in an email. We kept writing to each other, but you could sense the distance growing between us. And it was better this way. Because as much as I wanted to be with him for now I could not, and trying to be closer to him just hurt me more. I cared about him, but I had to look after myself first. Of course realizing this took me some time, but what really opened up my eyes was a talk I had with Alice a couple of days after I had my first lunch with Riley.

—

"_So?" _Alice said from her spot in the kitchen table "_Are you going to see him again?"_

"_I don't know" _I said sipping my coffee. We had just had breakfast and were drinking some coffee and enjoying our Saturday morning.

"_Why not?" _

_"I don't know if I am ready" _I honestly said "_I had a good time with him, but I don't know if I am being fair"_

_"Fair to whom Bella? You? Him? Edward?"_

_"Edward?" _I asked defensively "_He has nothing to do with this. He is in Chicago getting ready to travel to the other side of the world"_

_"Wait, wait, let me explain myself" _She said

"_Okay, go on"_

_"I just feel like you are holding yourself back because of him. And I get it, he is your first love and you finally had a chance with him. You had, but things changed and as much as you don't want them to they did. You can't put your life on hold for him, and you know why?"_

_"Why?"_

_"Because he didn't ask you to. And as much as it hurts to hear this I think you have to. He could have asked you to. You could have made it work, millions of couples have a long distance relationship and he is just going away for some time. Not forever. But you know why he didn't ask you too? Because it's easier. It's easier not to take a chance, it would have been hard, but he preferred not to. He was a coward and you deserve someone better than that"_

By this time I was silently crying in my seat, because as much as it pained me to hear this it was true. If he had asked me to I would have waited for him, I would have gone with the long distance relationship. I would have done it for him. But he didn't ask me to.

"_I am not saying he is a bad man" _Alice continued "_He just did what was easier for him, he protected himself ,probably, and it's time you do the same. You have to see for your wellbeing and your happiness, and maybe this Riley thing will pass in a week and you'll discover he is not as nice as he seemed, but I think you at least have to try. You have to take the chance, you owe that to yourself"_

* * *

**_Do you think she should give Riley a chance?_**


	25. Chapter 25

_**Update here. Some of you were mad about the last chapter, but they will have a happy ending, there is just more drama before that.**_

* * *

"_So I have Tom's wedding this weekend" _Riley said. We were currently walking down the beach with an ice-cream in hand. It was the las week of may and I had just turned in my last project. Summer was here, my last one as a student. By this time next year I was going to be done with school. I decided to spend my last free summer being exactly that, free. I was going to spend a couple of weeks in New York with my dad since he had just moved there and I offered to help him decorating his new place. I was flying in next week. After that I was going to spend two weeks with my mom in Washington and then I was going to return to L.A.

"_Tom is the one we ran into when we went out for sushi right?" _I asked licking my rapidly melting cone.

"_Yes" _He answered "_He is marrying his high school sweetheart. Remember I told you about it? Rebecca?"_

_"Ah, yes, yes I remember now" _

_"Well, what I am trying to do here is to ask you to go with me" _He said stopping our stroll

"_Sure" _I said smiling "_Weddings are always so much fun"_

_"Bella" _He said nervously avoiding my eyes "_I would like you to go with me, but not as my friend. As my date"_

_"Oh" _I knew he liked me but he had yet to made a move on me. I guess this was it. He had finally asked me out on a kind of date

"_So?" _He asked, and I realized he must be really nervous. He was running a hand trough his hair and pushing his glasses up his nose, which he only didi when he was nervous or concentrating in his puzzles.

"_I'd love to be your date" _I said taking one of his hands "_I really enjoy spending time with you Riley. When is it? I need to find a dress"_

_"It's this Saturday, and don't worry about the dress too much I am sure you'll be the prettiest girl there" _He said while he leaned down to kiss my cheek

_"I don't think the bride will agree with that" _

_—_

The week passed in a haze. I found a dress and was actually excited about Saturday, or at least I was until I realized what date the wedding was on. _June 1st_. It had been weeks since I had last spoken to him but I knew that day Edward was supposed to fly to Germany to start his training for the magazine, and I couldn't help but to feel sad. I had followed Alice advise and started to protect myself. I had decided that avoiding him was better for me. Of course my feelings didn't disappeared from one day to another and still thought about him constantly. But I was getting better at it.

Before I knew it Saturday was here and I was getting ready for the wedding. Since it was at the beach it was a casual affair and all guests had to wear light colors. I was wearing a dress that fell down to my knees and had thin straps that crossed my back leaving most of it bare. It was a light lavender color and decided to wear a pair of sandals. Alice was currently doing my hair. I was going to wear it down and Alice had decided to go with the bohemian look and was placing some small flowers in it. My make up was light, with just some blush and mascara. I loved the look.

"_So" _Alice said while pulling my hair around "_Is this official then?" _

"_I'll let you know. I think I might need to make the first move here, he is painfully shy sometimes"_

_"You go girl!" _Alice said "_Attack the man as soon as you see him" _

_"Calm down" _I said laughing "_But I promise that if by the end of the night he has not made a move I'll attack him"_

By the time Alice put the last flower in place a knock at the door alerted us of Riley's arrival.

"_I'll get it" _She said running down the hall to open the door. Sometimes I think she was more excited about my relationship with Riley than I was

As I walked down the hall I heard them talking and laughing, as I appeared Riley suddenly went silent and Alice went into the kitchen to give us some alone time.

"_Jesus" _He whispered "_I was right" _He was dressed in light brown pants and a white linen shirt and had a small lavender flowers in his pocket. _Alice._

_"Right about what?" _I asked as I approached him with a smile on my face

"_You'll be the prettiest girl there" _

_"Ihhhhhh" _Alice squealed form the kitchen and we both laughed about the whole situation

—

The ceremony was beautiful. The couple exchanged vows that brought me to tears and they looked at each other with such love in their eyes that the scene would transform the most skeptic person on earth a firm believer in love. It was magical. Everyone was dancing, drinking and having a good time celebrating their love. I was currently with my hands around Riley's neck and his hands in my waist. We were dancing to the rhythm of the music.

"_I am having such a great time" _I said

"_I am too" _He answered "_I am glad you accepted my invitation. I can't think of someone I'd rather have with me right now"_

_"Riley…" _I whispered getting closer to him. I wanted him to kiss me and by the looks of it I would have to make the first move "_Why haven't you kissed me yet?"_

_"You want me to?" _He asked. Surprise evident in his face

"_Of course I want you to. Don't you want to kiss me?" _

_"Absolutely. I just wasn't sure that you wanted to be with me like that" _

_"Why wouldn't I? Why wouldn't anyone?" _I asked running one of my hands up and down his arm

"_I…You…You are just so pretty and young, and full of energy. Why would you want to settle for and old philosophy professor? I am pretty boring. I just like reading and going to museums, I rarely party and I am nothing spectacular on the looks department" _He confessed. Had he felt this way all this time?

"_Okay. First of all you are not old, 8 years is not such a difference. And you are most definitely not boring, you are mature. You are a man, and that is what I want. A man, not a boy that spends his weekends getting drunk and partying around. That does not interests me in the least bit. You are one of the most interesting people I know. You know so much about the world and you see it in an unique way. And if I must say I find you pretty attractive"_

_"You do?"_

_"Yes, and I want you…" _The words were not out of my lips when he crashed his lips to mine, and it was so good.

His lips were moving firmly against mine. He brought me closer and had my body now pressed to his. One of his hands was now holding my face and the other gripping firmly my waist. Then he ran his tongue along my upper lip, asking for entrance and after granted his sense invaded my mouth. He tasted like the whiskey he had been drinking and like something earthly. He massaged my tongue with his and I could feel it in my toes. After a couple of minutes we had to take a break to breathe and he placed his mouth next to my ear and whispered to me sweetly.

"_I have imagined that moment for a long time now"_

_"And how was it?"_

_"Better than I ever imagined" _

_—_

By midnight I was already at home and had plans to spend my Sunday with Riley since I was leaving for a month on Monday. I was really excited about it and could barely sleep, I felt like a teenager with her first crush. It had been so long since I have felt this way, this confident. With Edward I never knew were I stood with him, but with Riley I knew what we both wanted and the opportunity was there. I was already in bed when my phone went off. How strange, who was calling me this late at night? Maybe it was Riley, had he forgotten something here when he walked me in? I picked up my phone from my nightstand and picked up

"_Hello?" _I asked into the night

"_You looked so pretty tonight" _Said the voice of a man across the world "_Who was he?"_

_"Edward…" _I said "_Why are you calling me this late?"_

_"It's morning here, or it will be in a couple of hours" _He sounded funny

"_Are you drunk?"_

_"I guess I am" _He answered "_I saw you picture on Facebook. Who is that tool? He looked so smug with you in his arms, but then again who wouldn't"_

_"He is not a tool"_

_"Do you love him? Does he? Because I…"_

_"Don't" _I stopped him before he said something he couldn't take back "_You are drunk and not thinking clearly, and not to mention on the other side of the world"_

_"I know" _He whispered sadly "_I was so sure that this was what I wanted, but I am not so sure anymore" _

_"It is what you want. It's a great chance for you, a dream come true"_

_"But I don't think it's the kind of dream I want to have tonight"_

* * *

_**Until next time.**_

_**Some of you asked how old are they now. Here are their ages**_

_**Isabella 22**_

_**Alice 22**_

_**Edward 24**_

_**Riley 30 **_


	26. Chapter 26

_"So how was your time with your dad?" _My mom asked while we were drinking tea in the garden. After the divorce she had picked up gardening as a pastime and we now had a beautiful garden behind the house in Washington.

"_Amazing" _I said smiling remembering my weeks there "_When I first arrived there was nothing at his penthouse but he took some time off and after the first week and several trips to different stores he had a magazine worthy place. I really enjoyed doing that, but I am still tired from it. Who would have guessed moving things around would be so tiring?"_

_"I knew you would do a great job" _She said "_He called this morning to know if you had landed safely and told me he loved the place. He is really proud of you. We both are"_

_"Thank you" _I said "_I really appreciate all you have given me mom, and I know I was kind of difficult about the whole divorce thing but I think I understand it now, you have to love yourself first sometimes" _I said remembering the Edward situation. The morning after his phone call he sent me message apologizing for everything he might have said, since he didn't remember a thing about it. He was so drunk. Since then I hadn't heard about him.

_"Sometimes you do" _She whispered into the morning air

—

It was the middle of my first week here in Washington when there was a knock at the door. After the housekeeper went to open it Jessica walked in.

"_Hey!" _I said happy to see her "_What are you doing here?" _

"_Hey" _she said hugging me "_Well I come bearing knew. Good ones"_

_"Really?" _I said "_And what would those news be?"_

_"I am getting married!" _She exclaimed excited

"_Oh my god!" _I said standing up from my seat and hugging her "_When did this happen? When is the wedding? Tell me everything!"_

_"We got engaged last month. I had just finished my last final when he proposed. We had agreed to wait until I graduated to get engaged but we can't wait. I love him so much Bella"_

_"I am so happy for you Jess. You deserve all the happiness in the world" _I honestly said with tears in my eyes

"_It will be a long engagement. We will get married next spring, we were thinking march 21, to welcome the spring and all that. It's the weekend, we are thinking about a garden wedding during the day"_

_"Oh my god! It sounds lovely"_

_"But I wanted to ask you if you would be my maid of honor?"_

_"Me?" _I asked surprised

"_I know we hadn't talked much lately, but you are still my best friend, you've been present though the most important things in my life, and I want you to be there with me, as my best friend"_

_"Oh my god! Yes! Yes! Of course I'll be your maid of honor, I am honored you asked, and I promise you I'll be the best maid of honor there has ever been"_

After that we hugged and cried and that is how my mom found us that evening. Sitting next to each other in the living room couch, our arms around each other and eating ice cream while we watched The Holiday. And for a moment it was as if we had traveled back to simpler times.

—

"_I am so excited about it" _I said in Riley's car after he picked me up from the airport. I had spent the remaining of my stay in Washington with Jessica brainstorming about the wedding "_And since I am the maid of honor I have to be there for her, you know? Help her and all that"_

_"And plan the bachelor party" H_e said while placing his hand on my leg

"_I have so many ideas already" _I said excitedly

—

The summer passed rapidly and before I knew it I was starting my last year at university. I was now a senior. My relationship with Riley was progressing slowly but it felt right this way. We were taking our time getting to know each other and not rushing into bed. His family was visiting from Boston this weekend, before classes started on Monday.

"_I am really nervous about meeting you family" _I said one Thursday while we were in his bed enjoying our last days together before we had to back to our responsibility at university, him teaching and I studying. We were side by side. He was reading something on his iPad and I was watching The Office on his T.V. We were both in pijamas even tough it was only 6 in the afternoon

"_Why?" _He asked without looking away form his iPad

"_Does your mom know I am still in school?" _I asked looking at him. At that he placed his iPad on the night table and turned to look at me.

"_She nows" _He said turning on his side to face me completely "_But if I don't care why should they?"_

_"Its just that I don't want them to think that I am a girl looking for a sugar daddy or something" _I admitted my deepest fear about meeting his parents

"_Sugar daddy, uh?" _He said with a smile on his face "_I am kind of old"_

_"Riley! Be serious, please. I am really worried"_

_"Hey" _He said bringing me closer to him "_You don't have to be. I love you and so will them"_

_"It's just that I want them…Wait!" _I said suddenly "_You love me?" _

_"I do" _He said kissing my lips softly "_You are an amazing woman Isabella"_

_"I love you too" _I said, and I truly did. He was and amazing man and I was happy to have him in my life

"_What do you love about me?" _He asked kissing all over my face

"_I love how passionate you are bout teaching, how you want to share all you can with others, you are not selfish with your knowledge" _I said while he kissed behind my ear and caught my earlobe between his lips "_I love how you look at life. You have such an unique mind, and when I think you can't surprise me anymore you just blurt a tough about something you saw on the city, and you make it sound so poetic. You see beauty in everything" _

By this time he had me on my back and was now on top of me, between my legs and kissing my neck.

"_Keep going" _He whispered roughly against my neck while he pressed his pelvis into mine. This was turning him on, a lot.

"_I love it when you write. You lose yourself in your words and it gives me a glimpse in what goes on in that head of yours" _He was now running his hands up and down my body, over my clothes "_I love how you talk about your family, I can tell you love them greatly and it just melts my heart" _His hands were now under my t-shirt and playing with my breasts, rolling my nipples between his fingers.

"_As much as I love them I don't want to talk about them while I have your tits in my hands" _He said against my ear panting heavily

"_I love your age" _I whispered in his ear, my lips barely grazing the skin there "_I love that you are a man, and not a boy" _I took his earlobe between my lips and nipped at it "_I need a man" _I said lifting my hips to meet his.

"_But what I love most about you is that you love me" _I said. At that he stopped his ministrations and braced his weight with his arms. He looked me straight in the eye and said

"_I do. I love you greatly, like I have never loved anyone before, don't you ever doubt that Isabella" _And with that he kissed me on my mouth. After that words were forgotten and we let our bodies talk for ourselves.

He was kissing me with such passion. His tongue stroking mine. He removed his t-shirt and mine. His chest against mine. Skin against skin. He was rocking his pelvis against mine and I could feel his arousal rubbing me. It made me feel wanted, it made me feel like a woman. I wrapped my legs around him and ran my hands up and down his back.

"_You are so beautiful" _He whispered. The then took one of my nipples between his mouth and started licking. I arched my back, it had been so long since someone had touched me like this.

"_Please" _I whispered with want

"_Be patient" _He said and then attacked my other breast with his tongue

"_We've waited enough" _I said rubbing myself against him trying to alleviate the ache down there

"_Are you sure?" _He asked while starting to kiss down my stomach

"_Yes, I am sure"_

He ran his tongue all along my abdomen, up and down, driving me crazy. Then he returned to my breasts, licking and nipping. Suddenly I felt one of his hands rubbing me above my shorts. It felt amazing, but I wanted skin on skin contact.

"_Take them off" _I said. And after some maneuvers we were both naked as the day we had been born.

"_There are no words for how you look right now" _He said from above me and then proceeded to kiss me. His hand once again wandered down and found my swollen lips waiting for him. Hi ran one finger up and down them barely separating them. He was teasing. After torturing me a couple of minutes I starting scratching his back and he took the clue. He inserted one finger inside and started pumping it. In, out, in, out. Then with his thumb he found my clit and began rubbing it in circles making me curl my toes in pleasure. It felt heavenly.

"_Aghh" _I cried in pleasure while digging my nails into his skin. He then added another finger and continued his ministration. After some minutes I was a panting mess and was ready to come, but just before I did he withdrew his fingers and put them inside his mouth. Licking them. God, what an erotic sight.

He then kissed me and I tasted myself on him. After that he positioned himself above me. I opened my legs for him and bringing my hand between us I brought his tip to my entrance. He ran it once and twice between my lips. Getting himself wet with my juices.

"_Do I need to put on a condom?" _He asked with a pained expression on his face

"_No. I am on the pill and I trust you" _

He then entered me. He began moving inside me and by the sound of it he was enjoying himself. He then took one of my legs and brought it over his shoulder changing our position. It felt amazing like this. Thanks heavens for my youth and flexibility. I think he noticed I liked the new position because he then brought my other leg to the same position. I was getting near my orgasm again and my body had begun to convulse. I brought my hands to my breasts and began pulling at my nipples roughly.

"_Agh" _He grunted. He was making noises that belonged more to an animal than to a man "_You feel so good. It's been too long"_

_"Riley" _I said his name like a prayer as my walls started to clench around him and my vision clouded. I was falling, and by the noises and his erratic movements so was he.

After he emptied himself inside me we laid still, him on top of me still.

"_That was amazing" _He said kissing my lips softly "_Sorry I didn't last longer. It's been a long time for me and I guess I got kind of excited"_

_"Don't worry" _I said playing with the hair in his temples that was wet with sweat from our activities "_It was amazing for me too"_

_"I love you" _He whispered against my lips

"_And I you"_

_—_

_"Do I look okay?" _I asked him for what it felt like a million time that morning

"_Yes Isabella" _He said with a book in his hand "_You look as beautiful as you did the last time you asked. Which was 3 minutes ago"_

_"I am sorry" _I said walking towards him "_It's just that you have such a good relationship with them that is important for me that they like me. I just want to make you happy"_

_"You make me happy" _He said circling my waist and bringing me to sit in his lap "_And just the fact that you are worried about building a relationship with them tells me all I need to know. So, stop worrying about it. They will love you"_

_"Like you do?" _I asked against his lips. Since we had confessed our love for one another I could not stop saying it or hearing it. I have been in love before, but never in this kind of relationship. A healthy mature relationship were I feel confident and protected, in one were I know I can rely on him as he can on me.

"_No" _He said kissing my neck "_No one can love you as much as I do" _

—

"_Oh Isabella. It's so nice to finally meet you. Riley can't stop talking about you" _ Riley's mother said while hugging me. We were meeting at a nice restaurant where we were having lunch. And by we I mean Riley, his parents, his sister and myself "_And now I see why, you are just so beautiful" _She said eyeing me up and down with a smile on her face. She was a classy lady, she was like the white version of Michelle Obama. She was wearing a mint green dress that fell a couple of inches below her knees. Her hair was styled in soft waves and felt to her shoulders, it was a soft caramel color. Her eyes were like Riley's, gold and kind with some wrinkles around her. She had a set of pearls around her neck and was wearing modest hills.

"_I am glad we finally met too Mrs. Biers" _I said smiling at her

"_Oh, please call me Bree. Mrs. Biers is my mother in law" _Se explained "_And you would not be happy if you met her" _She whispered that last part in my ear "_Now come and meet the rest of the family" _She took me by the hand and walked me to were a man and a girl around my age were standing

"_This is my husband Riley Sr" _She said introducing me to and attractive older man. I felt like I was looking into the future and Riley was standing in front of me. He looked exactly the same as the man that was holding my hand, but with some grey hairs and wrinkles.

"_Nice to meet you" _I said while shaking his hand "_I've heard so much about you"_

_"All good thinks I hope" _He said with a friendly smile on his face

"_And you must be Jane" _I said turning to a blonde petit girl

"_Yes" _She said with a somewhat less friendly smile "_Nice to meet you"_

_—_

Lunch was a comfortable affair. Riley's parents were a pair of sweethearts and even tough his sister didn't seem to like me much I had a good time. They asked me about school and seemed genuinely interested about what I had to say. Mrs. Biers told me about her charity work and her husband explained to me what he did at his consulting agency back at his home. Jane didn't say much apart from telling she had spent last year in France.

After we were done with the food we said our goodbyes and Riley promised to see them later, after he dropped me off at home. Her mom hugged me again and made me promise to visit them soon. I loved her already

—

"_So, how was it?" _He asked as soon as we walked into my apartment "_As horrible as you imagined it would be?"_

_"Okay, okay" _I said turning to him and wrapping my arms around his middle "_You were right, I had nothing to worry about. They are amazing, but I don't think your sister liked me very much" _

_"Don't take it personally" _He said running his hands up and down my back "_She doesn't like anyone much these days"_

_"Really?" _I asked looking up at him "_Why is that?"_

_"I don't know. I think something happened while she was in France, ever since she came back she's been insufferable, but I think she just need to adapt to the life in the stated again"_

_"I guess that must be it"_

_—_

On Monday Riley's family flew back home and we want back to our routines. With school back on again we were really busy and had not as much time for each other as we had become accustomed to. During the week I was in classes and Riley was teaching, and during the weekend I was doing homework and Riley grading papers. I missed spending time with him but school was kicking my ass this semester. And on top of all that I was planning Jessica's bachelor party. We were going to Aspen over winter break, I had managed to rent a cabin for a week there and us girls would be spending a week there.

It was the middle of September and we were sitting in Riley's living room eating Chinese food and watching a movie.

"_I miss you" _He suddenly said, putting his food down and turning to look at me

"_I am here" _I said moving closer to him

"_I know. Its just that we rarely see each other and when we do were both so tired to enjoy our time together" _He said bringing me closer and sitting me on his lap, my chest pressed to his

"_I know, its just that I've been really busy with my projects and Jessica's wedding" _I said playing with his hair

"_Move in with me" _He whispered in my ear while his hands were already under my blouse running up and down my back

"_I…I don't know if we are ready for that Riley" _I said

"_I know, I know" _He said kissing my neck "_Its just that I miss you so much, but you are right, we are not ready"_

_"How about this" _I said "_What do you think of going away for the weekend?" _

_"Mmm I like how that sounds" _He said nipping my collarbone and bringing one of his hands to my front and kneading one of my breasts

"_Mmmmm" _I said moving my pelvis above him making sure to rub against his length "_I like how that feels"_

_"Imagine a whole weekend of this. Just you and me"_

_"I can't wait"_


	27. Chapter 27

"_I am so excited about this!" _Angela said while we were boarding the van that would take us to the cabin where we would be spending a week celebrating Jessica's engagement. The semester was over and were all getting together this weekend. Jessica, Angela and even Lauren flew from around the country, along with some of Jessica's friend from Boston and a couple of her close cousins.

"_Me too" _I said form my seat, next to Jess "_We are going to have a blast"_

_"That we are" _Jess said hugging me "_Let's take a selfie" _She loved doing that. The took out her phone and took a picture of us making kissing faces and wearing the ridiculous veils Angela had purchased for all of us.

"_Oh we look good, this is going to Facebook" _She said while playing with her phone "_Ready"_

_—_

We arrived to the cabin and we went straight to the hotel. By 6 in the afternoon we were all drunk and running around in our bikinis, even tough it was freezing outside. We were taking pictures and telling old embarrassing stories. We were all having a blast.

"_Oh my god! You should have seen her face!" _Jessica was telling a story about our high school days when I heard my phone going on inside. Since I had let Riley know I had arrived safely I decided to ignore it. I wanted to forget about the world outside and focus on spending time with my friends before we all had to go our own ways "_She totally and a crush on him, right Bella?"_

_"Yes, she did" _I said going back to the conversation

—

I don't know how we managed to survive that night. It was a miracle no one drowned in the hot tub or lost a limb because of the snow. Las thing I remember was doing shots with Lauren and then I just woke up feeling like total crap.

"_Oh my god" _I groaned while I tried to move, tried being the key word.

"_What the hell happened last night?" _Said Angela from beside me "_I feel like I am dying"_

_"I feel like I am death already" _I said "_And I must be in hell" _

After a tremendous amount of effort I managed to wake up and took a shower. After probably the longest shower in history I walked around the cabin and checked on everyone. They were all majorly hungover. Being the amazing maid of honor that I was I prepared them breakfast and coffee.

"_You are a godsend" _One of Jessica's friend said while stuffing her face with bacon

"_That's why she is my maid of honor" _Jessica responded

"_So, what's the plan for today?" _I asked

"_How about we just take the day to rest? I don't think anyone is up for any kind of activity" _Angela suggested and all of them agreed.

After breakfast was over and everything was cleaned and back in its place I decided to read a little, I was on the second page when I fell asleep again. I guess I still needed time to rest. After some hours I woke up disoriented. I didn't recognize the place and for I moment I panicked, until I remember where I was. I got up and wandered into the living room. Everyone seemed to be sleeping again, except for Angela.

"_Hello sleeping beauty" _She said smiling up at me

_"I guess I was really tired" _I said "_I think I am going to town to look around for a place where we can have dinner some night of the week, want to come?"_

_"No thanks" _She said "_I'd rather stay, but take your phone with you in case you need to contact us"_

_"Okay"_

_—_

After I got ready I walked into town and began looking around. I found two decent restaurants and made reservations in each one for different nights of the week. I also checked out some bars and was currently inside a bookstore looking around.

"_Can I help you?" _The employee asked when I entered the store. After letting her know I was just looking around she left me alone to wander. I roamed through the classics first. A lot of my favorites where there, and the I came across Edward's favorite book. I felt my heart clench at the memory. In one of our phone calls last year he read his favorite part to me, and mentioned that every time he comes across it in a bookstore he cannot leave until he reads it.

I picked in up in my hands and read.

_"…how it would be nice if, for every sea waiting for us, there would be a river, for us. _

_And someone -a father, a lover, someone- able to take us by the hand and find that river -imagine it, invent it- and put us on its stream, with the lightness of one only word, goodbye. This, really, would be wonderful. It would be sweet, life, every life. And things wouldn't hurt, but they would get near taken by stream, one could first shave and then touch them and only finally be touched. Be wounded, also. Die because of them. Doesn't matter. But everything would be, finally, human. It would be enough someone's fancy -a father, a lover, someone- could invent a way, here in the middle of the silence, in this land which don't wanna talk. Clement way, and beautiful._

_A way from here to the sea." _

I put the book down as a tear rolled down my cheek. If only things could be like that, painless.

I was getting lost in my thoughts when my phone started ringing. I picked up, it was Angela calling.

"_Hey, I am on my way there, I lost track of time, but I'll be there soon. Do you need me to pick up anything?" _I asked as soon as I picked my phone

"_No, no" _She sounded nervous "_Just, just get home as soon as you can okay?"_

_"Is everything alright?" _I was getting scared "_You don't sound like yourself"_

_"No, don't worry, everything is fine, there is just something you need to see right away" _

_"Okay, I'll be there in 10" _I left the bookstore in a hurry and began walking to the cabin. As I was getting close I started getting a feeling and picked up my pace. By the time I was in the driveway I was practically running. As soon as I walked into the front door I knew something was going on. Everyone but Angela and Jessica were sitting in the living room and when they saw me they looked at me with an expression I couldn't read in their faces.

"_What is going on? Did something happen? Is anyone hurt?" _I asked looking around "_Where are Angela and Jess?"_

_"They are upstairs" _Lauren said.

As soon as the words left her mouth I ran up the stairs and followed the voices I was hearing. I could hear Angela and Jessica talking rapidly, but there was another voice there. A male one. Who was here?

"_You just can't appear in her life whenever you wish to…"_

_"What were you thinking?"_

_"She would kick your ass to the curve…" _

What are they talking about? And who are they talking to? I opened the door and all three figures turned to look at me.

Two pairs of dark brown eyes and a pair of blazing green ones that were engraved in my memory forever.

I fainted.


	28. Chapter 28

**Update! We are almost over with their story, but I have more ideas around my brain for new ones**

* * *

_"Bella, Bella" _I could hear voices calling my name

Little by little I began to open my eyes and above me I could see three worried faces looking expectantly at me. Jessica, Angela and _Edward. _Edward?

"_What are you doing here?" _I said sitting up abruptly

"_Hey hey" _He said while helping me up since I was currently on the floor "_Easy there, you just took a nasty fall" _He then pushed my hair away from my face. My skin was on fire with his touch, but I pulled away from him, hurt evident in his eyes.

"_Shouldn't you be in Germany?" _I asked walking to a nearby chair an taking a seat "_What are you doing here?" _

_"I…I…" _He stuttered suddenly looking at anything but me

"_He came to see you" _Angela said from her spot on the room. I had almost forgotten they were there.

"_He came to stop you from getting married" _Jessica said

"_Married?" _I asked confused "_I am not getting married. Jess is getting married, to your friend"_

_"I know" _He said looking ashamed "_I mean, now I know. I just thought you were getting married and I…I…"_

_"You suddenly decided to care again?" _I replied. Poison evident in my voice. "_Angela, Jess, can you give us a minute?" _We needed to have this conversation alone.

"_Sure" _Angela answered pulling Jessica by her hand and exiting the room

"_So, what are you really doing here Edward?" _I said standing and facing him

"_I told you. I saw Jessica's photo on Facebook and I just read _**_getting ready for the wedding _**_on the caption and you were wearing those face wedding veils and I panicked" _By this time he was rambling "_And then I called you and you didn't answer. I had to talk with you. You could not get married Bella. You can't" _His voice acquiring a panicked toned by this point "_I got scared. Just thinking of you getting married to someone, to anyone but me makes me want to crawl. I thought I had lost you to someone else. And when I found out you were not getting married I was so relieved, but I realized it's not you this time, but what if you had been? I could not handle that. Please don't" _

I _COULDN'T?! Oh the nerve of him_

_"Wat?!" _I asked raising my voice "_I'll do whatever the fuck I want okay? And, what do you even care? You disappeared on me. You left Edward! You left okay?!"_

_"You knew I could not let the opportunity pass!" _We were screaming loudly by now

"_I now! And I wouldn't have asked you to stay but.."_

_"Exactly!" _He said pulling at his hair "_You didn't even ask me! Didi you even wanted me to?"_

_"Of course I did!" _A lump forming in my throat from all the anger I was feeling "_How can you ask me that? And you didn't asked me to wait for you either! I would have waited for you, but you know what? I've waited for you long enough now Edward!" _Oh no, the tears were coming "_And I am just so tired of waiting for something that might never happen. I just can't do it anymore. I don't think I could take it"_

_"No, Bella" _His voice softening and coming closer to me "_Of course I wanted for you to wait, but it would not have been fair for me to ask" _He was now brushing my tears away from my face

"_I wanted you to ask" _I said placing my head on his chest, exhausted by now.

"_I wanted you to ask too" _He said wrapping his arms around me

We stood like that for God know how long before I pulled away from him and told him the truth neither of us wanted to hear.

_" I need to let you go" _I said looking at him

" _No, Bella, we can make this work, I know we can"_

_"I am with someone else"_

_"The man from your pictures?" _He asked, suddenly aging 20 years

_"Yes" _I said "_Riley, he is a good man. He loves me"_

_"Do you love him?" _He asked coming closer, suddenly his mouth pressed against my ear "_Do you love him like you could love me?" _He whispered, and I suddenly realize I didn't. I would never love Riley like he deserved. Loving him would be so easy, so comfortable. And I began to cry, why couldn't I love Riley? Why couldn't I forget the man standing in front of my, why wouldn't my heart let me?

"_It doesn't matter" _

"_Yes it does!" _He said placing his hands on my shoulders and looking at me "_Give us a chance"_

_"Not like this" _I said trying to clean my face "_We all deserve better than this Edward. You, Riley and myself" _I realized I had gone wrong about the whole thing since the beginning. I need to go back to California, and put my life back in order. I needed to be myself for some time.

—

Next morning I took a flight back to LA. I had to sort things out as soon as possible. Riley picked me up from the airport, no questions asked and when we arrived to my apartment he began to talk, he knew something was up.

"_So?" _He asked taking a seat "_What is going on? Why do you look like you are about to cry?" _

_"I am so sorry" _I said while the tears flowed freely down my face "_I am such a horrible person Riley. I am so sorry"_

_"Hey, hey hey, what is going on Bella? You are scaring me" _He said taking me into his arms and making me seat next to him on the couch "_You are not a horrible person"_

_"Yes I am" _I cried harder "_I…I have to break up with you" _

"_No you don't" _He said sweetly, making this thing a lot much harder "_Why do you say that? Are you scared because I asked you to move in with me? You don't have to, we can take things slower"_

_"It's not that" _I said "_I don't think I can love you like you want me to Riley"_

_"How do you know that? You are just what I need" _He said leaning towards my face

"_No" _I said "_You deserve someone that can love you with all of their hearts, and as much as I would like to be that person I am not. I wish I could, believe me, there is nothing I would like more, but it's not fair to you or to me"_

_"There is someone else" _He said. It was not a question.

"_It's not what you are thinking. I have not seen him in a long time, but there is someone else, and I am afraid there will always be. I am sorry"_

_"So am I"_

—

That was the last day I ever saw Riley Biers. We broke up and never talked again. I spent the whole winter break crying for something I could not have, and afraid of not being able to have it ever. I was the day before the semester started again when I snapped out of it. I was cleaning my room when something fell out of one of my books. It was a note that my dad had written to me when I first came down to California for college.

_Isabella, I know you will thrive in this new chapter of your life. You always do._

_I still remember your first day at kinder garden, it feels like it all over again, my baby girl going out to the world, and even tough I won't be there to protect you I rest because I know you don't need me to any longer. _

_And when you need help you can always count on my shoulder to lean, but remember that the strength you need the most is the one inside you._

_You stand by yourself, you shine without help._

_Believe in yourself._

_Love, Dad._

And then I finally understood, I had done it wrong all this time. My happiness depended only on myself. All this time I had relied on others to be happy. My parents, my friends, Edward. It was time for me to stand by myself, to shine.


	29. Chapter 29

**_So, the wait is almost over. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and no more drama to come._**

* * *

**_TWO YEARS LATER_**

_"Bella? Are you ready for the meeting? It starts in ten" _Maggie called from her desk, in front of mine. I was currently reading over the notes for the presentation.

I had been working at Vulturi architects since my graduation two years ago. I was living in the same apartment I used to, but now alone. Both of my roommates had moved out and I had all the space to myself. After I came back from Aspen's trip and broke things up with Riley I made a promise to myself, to focus on myself for a while. I focused on finishing my architecture degree and getting healthy. I started seeing a therapist, which made me nervous at first, but after some sessions I improved my way of seeing life. That first semester was difficult for me, I had been used to being with someone that I was a stranger to myself. During the days I would focus on school, but the nights were harder. I would stay awake for hours craving contact. I talked about that with my therapist and she suggested writing or some form of outlet for my emotions. And that's house my painting habit began. The nights I could not sleep I would spend on my studio (Alice former's room) drawing and painting my emotions away.

After graduation I started looking for jobs and got lucky when Vulturi decided to hire me. At first I did barely anything, filled cups and made copies, but as time passed I got assigned to small projects and then to bigger ones. On October of that year I flew to Boston to Jessica's wedding. I was dreading the whole thing since I expected Edward to be there, and I was not sure how I felt about the whole thing.

—

"_I am scared" _I said to Alice while we were having lunch a week before I was supposed to fly to Boston.

_"Scared of what?" _She asked

"_Of what I might feel when I see him"_

_"Okay" _She said standing straight "_first of all, we are not even sure he will be there. And even if he is you should not be afraid Bella. You are ready for this. You go and enjoy your friend's wedding and if you see him then let be it and see what happens"_

_—_

As it turned out I was worried for nothing, since Edward didn't attend the wedding. He was now living in Chile. Working with the same magazine that had hired him for his work in Germany. I had an amazing time with my old friends and didn't think about once about the man with green eyes.

Time passed and I enjoyed my time in LA. I made new friends at work and even went out on a couple of dates. I was currently working on my first solo project. It was a small one, a house on the beach that some rich couple wanted to build. It was not the most exciting project there was, but it was a start. I got my things and headed to the meeting room where I would see the clients.

Tanya and Irina, the clients names. Had been married for a couple of years now and wanted to build a house on the beach. Tanya was a famous photographer and Irina owned a couple of restaurants around the city. At first I was pretty nervous since they looked like they were used to high end things and what I had in mind was more of a cozy house. No glass and steel, just wood, bricks and a lot of natural lights. It turned out they loved the project too and wanted to start as soon as possible.

"_So, are we going out to celebrate?" _Maggie asked as we were heading out of the office, a smile on both of our faces

"_I don't know. How about dinner? You can bring Garret with you" _I said. I did want to celebrate but I was really tired and I liked Jared, he was a good guy and treated Maggie right.

"_Okay" _She said "_Let's go to that sushi place you like. Some sake is in order"_

_—_

I was getting ready for our dinner when my cellphones rang. It was Maggie.

"_Hey listen. I know we agreed on going out, but how do you feel about coming over? I totally forgot Garret had a little thing organized for one of his friends that just moved here, and bunch of his friends are coming over and firing up the grill. It's an informal thing but it will be fun"_

_"I don't know" _I said sitting on my bed "_Won't I be intruding too much? I men, I won't know anybody"_

_"No!" _she said from the other end of the line "_You would be doing me a favor, please. All these people know each other form college, please come and make me company. And from what I've seen some of this guys are really hot, we can get you a date"_

_"Oh my god" _I said laughing "_Is this a set up Maggie? Because last time to set me up with someone it was a complete disaster"_

_"It's not I swear, I don't even know who is coming, but maybe your prince charming would be attending"_

_"Ugh, okay I'll be there, but not prince charming or any funny business, I don't want to see anyone right now"_

_"You are o boring Isabella"_

_—_

Later that afternoon I was driving down to Maggie's. I decided to wear a sundress, it was summer un LA after all. And even tough I had said to Maggie I didn't want to be set up with anyone I took my time doing my hair and makeup. I wanted to make a good impression on Garret's friends and maybe I would meet someone interesting. Who nows?

I parked around their place and walked to the door. Maggie opened the door and rushed me inside.

"_Oh my god Bella" _She whispered as soon as I was inside "_You have to meet Garret's friend. He just moved here, he want to Harvard and they met in Boston. He is like the prettiest man on earth and he is single"_

_"Okay, okay, calm the fuck down woman" _I said with a smile on my face "_I am slightly worried about Garret here, should I warn him about his friend stealing his woman?"_

_"Oh my god, no. But that doesn't men I can't leave trough you" _She then took my hand and we headed to the kitchen

"_Baby, who was that?" _We heard Garret calling from the back yard. He then appeared on the door that let from the kitchen to their backyard. He had an apron around his waist and was wearing some shorts and a white shirt.

"_It's me Garret" _I said heading his way and hugging him "_How are you?"_

_"Amazing. It's been so long since I've seen my friends" _He said smiling "_Come on, I want to introduce you to them" _He took me by the hand and dragged me outside. There were around 6 men, some of them with what I would asume were their girlfriends.

"_Hey everyone" _Garret called and everyone turned to look at us. I didn't hear no more because my eyes were suddenly locked with a pair of green eyes heading my way.

"_Bella?" _He asked standing in front of me

"_Hello Edward" _I said back

"_Do you know each other?" _Garret asked looking between us with a confused expression on his face.

"_Yes" _Edward answered without breaking eye contact "_Isabella and I went to high school together"_

_"No shit. You are Isabella?"_

_"What?" _I asked confused "_Garret, we've known each other for almost two years now and you don't know my name?"_

_"Yes, no, I mean Maggie always calls you Bella"_

_"Everyone does" _I said turning to look at Edward again. He was standing there just looking at me like he could not believe his eyes.

"_Well, not him apparently" _

_"Oh, I you already met" _Maggie said while coming from the kitchen with plates on her hands

"_Babe, I think they have known each other for a long time" _Garret said

—

After that I excused myself and went to the bathroom. Inside it I splashed my face with cold water and took deep breaths. I had not expected to see him anytime soon. I had been preparing for this for a long time, I was supposed to act cool and collected, I was and adult now. But all that flew out the window as soon as I saw his green eyes. My heart was beating loudly and my palms were sweating. A bunch of butterflies had taken residence in my belly and my face was flushed. I could not help it, I was still attracted to this man.

"_Okay, Bella. You've got this. You are an adult now. Don't stress about it. Just see were things go tonight"_

After my pep talk in front of the mirror I headed to the party again. I turned to the hall and there he was leaning against the wall looking at some pictures on the wall.

"_Well, well, look who's hiding from the party now" _I said with a smile on my face

"_It seemed that for once the roles are reversed" _He said turning to look at me "_You look amazing Bella" _He said coming closer

"_What are you doing here Edward?" _

"_Garret invited me" _

_"I mean L.A. Last time I heard from you you were in Chile working for the magazine"_

_"I was" _He answered "_And after that it was Japan, and then I realized I didn't want that life anymore."_

_"And you moved to L.A"_

_"I did. I've got a more stable and permanent job here"_

_"Why not Boston?" _I asked. I wanted to know, and even tough I had promised myself not to hope I still did. Was it for me?

"_I thought about it" _He said "_But there was something that L.A has that no other place does" _He said coming closer

"_The sun?" _I asked trying to joke

"_Something like that" _He whispered in my ear "_Am I too late Isabella?"_

_"No, you are right on time" _

_—_

After we shared that moment in the hall we went back to the backyard but something had changed. He stood by y side all night, his hand in my lower back or playing with my hair. He told me stories of his time around the world and I shared some of my own. I got to know his friends from Boston and we had a good time. After everyone began to leave I went to the kitchen to help Maggie with the dishes.

"_So" _She said "_Are you going to tell me what was that? Or are we going to pretend you are not smiling like a fool and Garret's friend is not looking at you with puppy eyes?"_

_"We've known each other for a while" _

_"And?" _She asked, the cleaning task forgotten "_You've got to give me something, I've never seen you like that"_

_"I guess you could say we have story behind us"_

_"Romantic one I guess from the looks of it"_

_"Kind of" _

_"Isabella! You are killing me here"_

_"Listen Maggie" _I said resting against the kitchen island with my arms crossed in front of me "_I am not even sure what is going on right now "I've just been waiting for this so long, and it looks like our time it's finally here. I promise that as soon as I figure this out I'll tell you all about it. I just have to talk to him first"_

_"Okay chica, you are not making any sense, but I guess it's alright. But just an advise, don't think too much about it, He clearly makes you happy and you him. Things don't have to be so complicated, and maybe the universe put him back in your path for something. Everything has a reason"_

_"Oh god, have you been reading the horoscope again?"_

_—_

Edward and I were the only guests left. Everything was back in its place and It was time to go home.

"_I better call a cab" _Edward mentioned

"_Where are you staying?" _I asked "_I can drive you there"_

_"At the Hilton downtown, but don't worry I can call a cab" _He said looking at me

"_No, really I can drive you, I don't care"_

_"You sure?"_

_"Yes"_

We said our goodbyes and headed to my car. Once inside it I began to drive

"_I don't want the night to end" _He said looking at me

"_Me neither" _I whispered back "_Do you want to go to my place? We can have coffee there and talk some more"_

_—_

After he accepted my invitation we headed to my place and once inside it I put some water to boil. He wandered around and looking at my things

"_Your place suits you" _He said once we were seated on my sofa in the living room

"_I guess it does" _I said "_I've lived here for a long time now"_

_"I guess we need to talk" _He said placing his mug on my table

"_I guess we do" _I said turning to look at him "_Are you back for good?"_

_"I am. I have no plan of leaving"_

_"But for how long until that changes?" _I asked "_I need you to understand that I can't put my heart on the line again Edward, and then have you leave"_

_"Hey" _He said coming closer our legs touching "_I am staying here. It's what I want"_

_"Is it? Are you really doing this for you? or is it for me? Because I can't ask you to forget about your dreams. You were living them before, traveling around the world and writing"_

_"I got really sick on my last trip" _he suddenly said

"_What? Are you alright?" _My mind was going crazy over all the crazy sickness I've seen on TV people got when they travelled

"_Yeah, I am fine now" _He said "_But I was in the hospital in Japan and they asked me if I wanted to call someone so they could visit me. And I realized I didn't have someone. I didn't have anybody, sure, my parents were there for me, but I felt so alone and I realized I was chasing the wrong dream. I had been so career focused that I forgot what was really important in life. I was living for my dream not living my dream. As soon as I got out of the hospital I quit and went back to the states. I went to Washington to live with my parents for a while because I had to receive treatment for a while and then I looked for a job here. When the doctors said I was back to normal I accepted the job and took the first plane here" _He was playing with my hair by this time "_And I know I am being selfish by asking this, but please give me a chance to do this right. And I understand If you don't want to, but I would not be able to live with myself if I didn't at least try it. My dreams have changed Isabella, I want to be happy, and before I thought that meant having some glamorous job. I am not gonna lie to you and say I didn't enjoy it, I really did, and maybe it was what I needed that time in my life, but not anymore. I want to keep writing, but I also want a stable life, where I can share my life with my family, my friends and with the person I choose to love"_

_"Edward…" _By this time tears were running down my eyes

"_Don't cry" _He said kissing my tears away "_Not for me. I've caused you enough pain. No more tears Isabella"_

_"These are happy tears" _I swear trying to smile

"_So, is that a yes? Can we try this, the right way this time?"_

_"You don't even have to ask" _

—

Edward left that night to his hotel. He called a cab after all. We said our goodbyes and exchanged telephones numbers. He kissed my cheek on drove away. I could not sleep that night. I was turning in my bed thinking about the night I just had. Me day had begun like any other and had turned out to be what I can call one of the best nights of my life. I was getting sleepy when a been alerted me of a text message.

_I am in my bed thinking about you. I close my eyes and I see your lovely smile and brown eyes. My heart can't stop beating wildly in my chest. I have not felt this alive in so long, and I only have you to thank. Sweet dreams, I know mine will be, because you'll be in them. Xo. Edward._

And with that message the land of dreams claimed me and my head was filled with green eyes and see words all night.

* * *

**So?**


	30. Chapter 30

"_Here it its. Black coffee with no sugar for the lady. And a banana muffin" _Edward said while placing the coffee in one of my hand and a brown bag in the other.

"_You don't have to keep doing this, you know?" _I said smiling up at him. It was Thursday morning and we were standing outside my office building. We've been doing this the whole week since we discovered Edward worked just around the corner.

"_I want to" _He said coming closer and kissing my cheek "_I have years of free coffee to catch up on" _

_"You'll spoil me"_

_"Good. I want to"_

_—_

After our morning routine greeting I went inside to work on Irina's house. And eve thought I tried to concentrate my mind wandered to _him. _After last Friday night things had shifted. We texted all Saturday and on Sunday I went to his apartment to spend the day with him and help him unpack from his move. We spent the whole day together talking and laughing, and falling in love all over again. During the week we've been both too busy to see each other apart from our morning coffee exchange outside my building.

**_What are you doing Friday night? - E_**

A text interrupted my daydreaming

**_Nothing that I know of. Any suggestions? - B_**

**_As a matter of fact yes. I have a proposal for you - E_**

**_I am intrigued now - B_**

**_Meet me outside your building in 20 - E_**

That's how I found myself outside my building standing in the street 20 minutes later waiting for him, when I suddenly saw him turning the corner and walking towards me.

"_So, what's this proposal of yours?" _I asked as soon as he was within hearing range

"_I wan to ask you out. On a date" _He said looking nervous

"_Edward" _I said taking his hands between mine "_I'd love to, but you didn't have to come all the way here. Why didn't you say it by text?"_

_"I want to do things right by you Isabella, you deserve better"_

—

It was Friday evening and I was getting ready for my date with Edward. He had yet to share our plans, but told me to dress casually. Since it was a date I decided to at least wear a skirt. I put on a black skirt and light sweater and a pair of black oxfords. I let my hair down and put on a little foundation and blush. I was putting on my last touch of lipstick when the door bell rang. He was here. I headed to the door and opened it. He was standing there with a gigantic bouquet of flowers in his hands.

"_Hello there" _I said while I opened the door

"_Hi" _He said kissing my cheek "_You look lovely, as usual. This are for you" _He said offering me the flowers

"_Thank you. They are lovely, come on in while I put this in some water" _I closed to door and headed tot he kitchen in search of a vase. When I finally found one I put some water in it and placed the flowers in it, then put it on the coffee table by the living room.

"_Ready?" _He asked looking at me

_"Yes" _I answered. _I've been ready for a long time now. _I thought to myself.

—

He ruined me. He had ruined me for all other men I might encounter in my life later. He had planned the most perfect first date. After he picked me up from my place we drove down town and parked in front of an old building.

"_What is this?"_

_"You'll see, be patient" _He said. He opened my door and we walked hand in hand to the door and he knocked.

"_Who's this?" _A voice asked form inside

"_It's Edward Masen. I have an appointment" _

_"Ah yes, come on in" _The voice said and the door opened. Appointment? What was going on?

The door opened and what I found inside shocked me. It was a reception room. There was a desk with an old lady sitting in it, the walls were adorned with different works of art and flower pots were strategically placed on the floor, there was a bench and a staircase that led upstairs.

"_Hello, I am Cecil. Are you ready to start the tour?"_

_"We are" _Edward said smiling down at me

"_Tour? I asked confused, tour of what? Were are we Edward?"_

_—_

It turned out we were at one of the most prestigious art galleries in L.A and Edward had arranged a special visit for the two of us. The gallery was currently showing some work of Alexander Calder, one of my favorite artists ever. We visited the three floors filled with some of his less known work and Cecil explained some of it, and told of the history of each piece. By the end of it I was so happy I felt like crying.

"_So? Did you like it?" _He asked as soon as we exited the building

"_Are you kidding? Like it? I loved it, he is one of my favorite artists ever"_

_"I know" _He answered

"_How? I never told you"_

_"Last Friday night when we went back to your place I noticed you had small replicas of his work and during the week when I was planning our date I discovered this gallery was showing some of his works. It was perfect" _

_"Thank you" _I said hugging him "_It was indeed perfect" _

_"I am glad you like it" _He said putting his arms around you "_But now it's time for the second part of our date"_

_"There is more?" _I asked looking up at him

"_Yes. How do you feel about Jazz?"_

_—_

He then took us to a Jazz club just a couple of blocks form the gallery. It was a little whole in the wall. It was dark but warm, there were small tables surrounding the stage and a little dance dance floor in the middle. We entered and Edward told his name to the host and he directed us to an intimate table light by candles around it. It was beautiful.

"_Oh m god, how did you found bout this place? You've been here for two weeks and you already know all the cool places" _I said after we ordered our drinks.

"_I must admit I had a little help from the guys at the office" _He then took my hands between his "_And a lot of motivation"_

_"Thank you. I love it"_

_—_

We spent the rest of the night drinking wine and eating some entrées Edward ordered, it was delicious and the music was amazing. By the end of the first bottle of wine he asked me to dance.

"_Come on, let's dance" _He said standing up and offering his hand to me

"_Lets"_

We headed to the dance floor full of old couples, I think we were the only ones here under 50. He took me in his arms, brought me closer to his body and we began to dance. I didn't recognize the song but he seemed to know it by heart and began to whisper the lyrics on my ear.

_"Heaven, I'm in heaven_

_And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak_

_And I seem to find the happiness I seek_

_When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek"_

I remained silent enjoying the sound of his voice and the heat of his body. He was a great dancer and before I kew it the song was over and the next one started and we kept dancing. He kept whispering lyrics on my ear and I sang softly in his chest the ones I knew. It was a magical moment. I don't know how long we danced but when I grew tired I whispered in his ear.

"_I am ready to leave"_

He nodded and took my hand. After we settled the bill we began walking towards his car, hand in hand and lost in our thoughts.

"_Do you want me to take you to your apartment?" _He asked as we neared his car

"_No. I just want to be alone with you" _I said resting against the closed door of his car

"_Me too. I want you to myself"_

_—_

We got inside his car and drove in silence to his place. He had one hand on the steering wheel and one on my leg just below the hemline of my skirt, he was running his fingers up and down my leg and it felt like heaven. We arrived in no time and after we parked we headed to his door. Once inside we walked to the kitchen and he offered me a drink

"_I've got some water, beer, coke and soda" _He said turning away from me and heading to the fridge in search of beverages

"_Edward.." _I whispered reaching for him and closing the fridge door "_I don't want anything to drink" _

_"What do you want?" _He asked in a rough tone coming closer and closer until he was stagnant in front of me, his chest pressed to mine and his arms surrounding me

"_I want you to kiss…"_

The words had not left my mouth when it finally happened. We were kissing. At first it was just a soft movement of lips against lips, sweet and tender, but then it grew like a fire ignited with gasoline. He ran his tongue along my lips asking for entrance and once granted my whole body exploded. His tongue was not shy as it explored and massaged my mouth. He tasted of wine and something spicy and it made me moan. My hands went around his neck and began playing with his hair bringing me closer to him. I could feel the hard planes of his chest against the softness of my body and felt his hands roaming my back. It was the most exiting experience of my life, my body was vibrating with electricity and my heart was beating wildly inside of my chest. I suddenly understood what people meant about kisses. I had always liked kissing people, but nothing had ever felt this way. Nothing had ever felt like him.

"_Jesus christ" _He whispered against my neck when he came up for air "_What is this? I have never felt this way" _He then proceed to kiss my neck making my knees weak.

"_I don't know" _I said painting and bringing his head closer to my skin "_But don't stop, don't ever stop"_

"_I don't entend to" _

He then began to kiss me again with renewed forces. We stumbled around his kitchen until he had me pressed against a wall. My hands got braver and began touching everything I could reach. His shoulders, his chest, his back. And as my hands got braver so did his. One was around my neck holding my face in place and the other one began roaming my side. It went from my waist to the hem of my skirt and then under it. He took my ass in his hand and began kneading it. It made me moan. He then removed his other hand from my my neck and brought it to my chest playing with my breasts. I was on fire and I was sure there was arousal running down my tights by this point.

"_Tell me to stop" _He said panted against my mouth

"_No, don't stop. We've waited long enough" _I barely managed to say since he had moved his hand from my back to my front and was playing with my lace barely there panties.

"_Let's take this to my room then" _

I don't know how we managed to walk but we began moving towards his room, shedding clothes in the process. First my shoes, then his shirt and belt, followed soon by my sweater and his shoes. By the time we were in his room I was standing only wearing my underwear and he was just wearing his unbuttoned dark jeans and he looked like sin.

"_Get on the bed" _He said and I obeyed. I positioned myself in the middle of it and waited for him to join me "_You are a fucking angel and I am in heaven" _He whispered getting into the bed with me, covering my body with his "_I am finally in heaven" _He whispered and began kissing my neck while touching my body with his hands.

"_Finally" _I whispered back.

He kissed my mouth and began taking my bra off. In return I started pushing his jeans down his legs and wrapped my legs around him, feeling how aroused he was and whimpering at the contact.

He began kissing down between the valley of my breasts and took one nipple between his teeth gently and the licked it. I arched my back in response and wrapped my legs tighter around him making him feel my heath trough the fabric of our underwear. Then one of his hands went to my other breasts and began pulling at it in a way that it almost hurt but that it made me cry in no time he had me panting and crying just form his ministrations on my breasts. But I needed more and began rocking my hips against him looking for relief.

"_You are one impatient kitty" _He said pulling at my nipple harder "_I bet I can make you come just from touching your breasts" _He then blew some air on my erect nipples and the latching on it.

"_Please…" _I whispered. I needed release and was taking matters into my own hands. I drifted my hand down my body and was inside my panties in no time. I had barely touched my slick lips when he wrapped a hand around my wrist and stopped all movements.

"_No, no, let me do that. I've been waiting long enough to claim your orgasms Isabella" _He said pinning my hands above my head "_Tonight they belong to me" _He then began rubbing my aching center above the lace of my panties making me cry out.

"_Please…please…Edward" _I said arching my back in response to his ministrations

"_Please what Isabella?" _He pressed harder against me "_Jesus, you are so wet, your arousal is running down your thighs and I am sure you've let a spot on my bed" _

_"Agh…" _I know I must be embarrassed but the dirty talking was just making me wetter.

"_Do you want me to make you come?" _He then pilled my panties aside and began running a single finger up and down my lips, barely touching me. It was pure torture

"_Yes, yes, please" _

"_Do you want me to use my fingers?" _He then pushed one finger inside me bringing a wave of pleasure to my body "_Or my cock?" _He then rocked his hardness against my hip "_Or maybe, maybe you want me to use my tongue" _As he said that his tongue licked my ear and bit gently on my earlobe.

I was done. I could not answer but he decided for me. He turned us and I was suddenly stranding his waist. I began rocking against his abdomen looking for release. I placed one hand on his shoulder for support and with my other hand began playing with my breasts.

"_You look like a fucking vision" _He said placing his hands on my waist "_I can feel you getting my skin all wet even thought your panties. I want to kiss you, taste you" _He said the began rubbing me with one hand "_Sit on my face Isabella"_

_"What?" _I asked shocked. I've had oral, but never like that

"_Sit. On. My. Face" _He repeated bringing me closer to his face "_I wanna lick that tight pussy until you black out" _

After I situated myself above him I placed my hands on the headboard, but he had other ideas.

"_Turn around. Face my dick" _I obeyed and turned around. I was liking this part of him that took control in the bed. It was turning me on greatly. He flexed his knees and I placed by had over them for support. He placed my pussy above him and buried his nose it it. He took a deep breath and moaned "_Even since you opened that door in that little skirt I've been wondering how you'd smell, how you're taste" _Then with one hand he moved my panties aside and attacked me. His tongue began lapping at my juices and then flicking my clit. I was seeing stars in no time, and then he began fucking me with his tongue. in an out and it felt amazing. I was barely coherent. I was moaning without control and so was he. He was enjoying this as much as me.

Then I noticed he was gripping his dick between one of his hands and he was pulling at it. _Not under my watch mister. _I leaned forward and took his cock between my hands. It was so hard and the head was already licking. I pushed his boxers down and in no time I had him in my mouth. As soon as my mouth made contact him him he groaned and the vibrations felt amazing against my flesh.

"_Ugh yes" _He moaned "_Suck it baby, take it all" _ I ran my tongue up and down his shaft and then pulled him all inside taking what was left between one of my hands. He was hitting the back of my throat and my jaw was getting sore. But I was determined to make him come like this. He sensed my determination and began pumping a finger in and out of me while his tongue attacked my most sensitive spot. In no time we were both moaning like animals and when I felt the first wave of semen on my mouth I exploded around his mouth. After we came down from our high he had me on my back again and he knelt between my parted legs. He took his dick in his hands and began stroking it until it was hard again.

"_That was amazing baby" _He said "_But I want to fuck you now"_

_"Please" _I said touching my breasts, pulling at my nipples roughly "_I want to feel you inside me"_

_"Fuck" _He whispered and covered my body with his "_Should I get a condom?" _

_"No. I am on the pill and I trust you"_

_"Good" _He then took himself and began teasing my lips with it. Up and down, soaking himself in my juices and hitting my clit with the head. Suddenly he pushed into me and I cried out in pleasure. I felt to full and tender. He began moving in and out hitting spots inside me that made me see stars. He then grabbed one of my legs and threw it over his shoulder. The new angle making us both cry in pleasure.

"_You feel amazing. So amazing. Agh. Isabella. Yes. Baby" _He whispered against my lips. By this time we were not kissing, we were more like breathing in each other's mouth with our tongues licking what could be found. It was messy and hot "_I don't think I can hold out much"_

_"It's okay" _I said "_Let go" _

He brought one hand between us to rub me and in no time we were both seeing stars

—

_"It's never been like that before" _We were currently having a bath. My back against his chest and he was washing me like a delicate flower and kissing my neck sweetly.

"_For me neither. Everything was stronger"_

_"It must be you"_

_"Or you" _I whispered with a smile on my face

"_Us" _He kissed my neck

"_Us" _I repeated


End file.
